More Mindless Stories on ‘hopping the jennifer grey’
21
Ashley Tisdale’s Nose: Part 2
Ashley Tisdale was continuing the tour of her new nose as she appeared at the Starlight Starbright Children’s Foundation Winter Wonderland event in LA. I’m confused by this. Isn’t her new nose supposed to make her look better? I’m not saying she doesn’t look good. Yeah, no actually I am. Maybe she needs to slut is up a bit in order to take notice away from her drastic new look. Perhaps she should “go straight to skank,” as I have recommended others to do in the past. Ashley is definitely suffering from Jennifer Grey Syndrome, where she looks like a completely different person. Maybe the swelling and stuff will go down? Maybe she can ask them to just put everything back to the way it was before? Either way she should show a little boob action in order to shift focus. Hmmm, I should help manage celebrities. I have the best ideas.
18
Justin Guarini the New Jennifer Grey?
Justin is on the set of upcoming film “Fast Girl” which should promise to be not as good as, “From Justin to Kelly.” So what else is going on with Justin Guarini? Good question. Well, he is turning down jobs left and right (good move). When interviewed by my future employer MTV, Justin told them that it’s ok to say “no.” Not to drugs or anything, but to work. Justin continues:
“I got offered reality shows, do this, do that, left and right. That’s not the kind of entertainer I feel that I am. If other people chose that for themselves, good for them, but for me I really wanted to make sure that what I did spoke from my heart.”
Let me give you some advice, my friend. Take EVERYTHING and bank every last dollar because it’s going to be over soon, real soon. In fact, it already really ended for you. Take those reality shows and here’s why. Do a bad reality show and move your status up to “d-level.” From there, spend time at Hyde in LA and wait there, just wait there, because eventually Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and/or the Olsen Sluts will show up. Then, buy them some drinks, become friends, ask one of them out (or ask all of them out as your chances aren’t so great). Fast forward 3-months to a drunken Las Vegas wedding and guess what? You will now be entitled to 50% of their earnings. Divorce. Take the alimony and additional settlement money and retire. If you really wanted to up you cash flow, please make sure to record a sex video with your new Hollywood wife. This will really come in handy if the divorce settlement doesn’t add up. Act now, thank me later.
