More Mindless Stories on ‘holly montag’
Dear Birthday Jesus-Wish-Giver,
Hey. It’s Holly. Woooooooo! I am so drunk Birthday Jesus-Wish-Giver. So drunk. What’d you say? Whatdyousay? Whaaatdyousaaay? It’s my birthday!!! What’dyousaaay? Stephanie stop tryin’ to interupt mybithdaywish with Birthday Jesus-Wish-Giver. God Stephanie you’re so like this. I hate you. Stephanie? I totally love you, you’re like my burp…you’re like my…burp….my buurrrp….sister. No seriously I like (insert tears) love you, like a lot. Why’s Stacie here? Why’s Stacie here? She’s such a bitch. Stacie I love you! Let’s show our tounges to everyone. Oh my God Stephanie you’re tongue is blue. Your tongue is blue. Yourtongueisblue. Did you blow a smurf? Ohmygod did you blowasmurf? Stephanie who’s standing next to you? Hey you. Hey…you. You. Hey. I said hey you. Oh, hey Stacie whendyougethere? Stacie your tongue is totally blue. Is Stephanie’s? What? My tongue is blue too? Stephanie did you just say my tongue is blue too? Whendyougethere Stephanie? Stephanie you’re such a bitch. I love you. Hey guys, you guys wanna stick out our tongues and give peace signs and shit? Hey guys, you guys wanna stick out our tongues and give peace signs and shit? Hey guys, you guys wanna stick out our tongues and give peace signs and shit? Hey guys, you guys wanna stick out our tongues and give peace signs and shit? Oh wait was I not saying that out loud? Oh my God you guys I just said the same sentence like a thousand times in my head.
Anyway, Birthday Jesus-Wish-Giver are you still there? Ok so here’s my birthday wish. Here’s my birthday wish. Heresmybirthday wish. We’re all driving home tonight. Let Stephanie be the one who gets pulled over, ok? Thank you Birthday Jesus-Wish-Giver!
Wooo hoooo it’s my birthday! It’smybirthdayyouguys. Hey Stacie and Steph. When did you guys get here? Whendidyouguys get….here. BURRRRRRRRRRRP.
I couldn’t decide on what to title this post so I combined them. I own this crap. I get to decide. Anyhills, my worst nightmare has come true (Siamese Montag sisters) at the same time my dream has come true (Darlene Montag is totally the new Dina Lohan!). It’s almost like Hills implosion for me. Heidi Montag, her more than likely douche-bag sister Holly Montag, her MILFless mother, Darlene, and Steve Sanders were all teeth and fake blond hair while they had a little dinner at STK in LA the other night.
Hi everyone! Meet Holly Montag/Montard. She’s the sister of Heidi Montard. She enjoys big white teeth that are a bit bucky beaver and sandals that lace up around her cankles. Holly also enjoys such activities as filming new scenes of The Hills with Lauren Conrad and never eating the sandwich that’s in front of her. Wanna date her? Well you better hurry up because she is relatively unknown right now, but come the end of August she will sadly be an overnight household name as she is set to appear in a few crapisodes of The Hills. Seriously, it’s like huge white teeth are a requirement for The Hills.