More Mindless Stories on ‘heather mills’
May
25
Posted by IBBB
heather mills
Come on ride the wooden leg joyride, Roxette! Nothing to tell here, really, except the fact the Heather Mills morphed into Roxette whilst at the premiere of Arabia at IMAX in London yesterday and I felt that you should know. I felt that all of you should know. Well, all of you except one of you. One of you doesn’t deserve to know and, well, I’m not quite sure which one yet.
Sep
22
Posted by IBBB
heather mills
….so then the pig says, “It’s not technically a wooden leg.”
Applause! Applause! Cue the lights. And….fade to black.
Mar
18
Posted by IBBB
heather mills
Bust out the Lemon Pledge because Heather Mills is going to need to shine up her wooden leg and dance the night away. Heather just “won” an estimated $50 million divorce settlement from her ex-husband Paul McCartney. Hmm, I didn’t even know they were in the middle of a divorce. Anyway, Heather definitely deserves the $50 million after she had to live the life of the rich and famous, which apparently isn’t punishment enough.
Heather has said that she is “so, so happy” with the settlement. Mills later said, “I am standing here because Paul is insistent on the whole judgment being put out. I’ve said that if the whole judgment goes out then all the transcripts have to go out because it’s going to be written in a way that they will try and make it that I wasn’t successful.”
Honestly, I have no idea what that means and even when I read something that a British person said I can only hear the British accent in my head. I’m pretty sure she’s invited us all over for high-tea. I’ll bring the spoon.
Who Said That!?
Nov
02
Posted by IBBB
heather mills
Dear Heather Mills,
Hi there Heather. How are you sweetie? Heather are you on “the drugs?” You are all over the news lately and I must confess, I have no clue what in the filthy hell you’re actually talking about. I must sadly admit that I am pretty up-to-date on the random goings on with
celebrities (and even you), but I didn’t know half of the crap going on in your life until you ended up on about 15 different talk shows in the past 2 days. I saw you sitting on a balcony (it looked nice) on The Today Show yesterday morning and you were…uh…how should I say this….a little nuts. You were spewing out that you talk to Paul McCartney every day, but you come on national television to tell the viewers that you want Paul to see The Today Show and get your message that you want him to tell people that the divorce was his fault. Oh, I get it! No wait, I don’t..at all. Huh? Wait, you get crazier. Then you tell the American public that you’ve been suicidal. Yeah, that makes people think you’re pretty crazy. Later you go on to tell us that you get death threats and that you can’t die because you are responsible for thousands of lives and animals. Again, huh? Heather you’re crazy and I can’t follow any of this. At least show your wooden leg the next time you’re on TV. OR…write a message to Paul on your wooden leg and then put just your leg on TV. That’ll do. We don’t really need to see you, just your leg. Thanks, in advance for your cooperation. Pip Pip! Ta!
Hey Heather Mills, Huh??
Mar
29
Heather Mills brings some back up legs to dance rehearsal for Dancing With the Stars. I don’t think that’s fair. When the other contestants are tired they don’t get to put on new legs. I call foul! As a side note, I think she should tattoo one of the back up legs to make it more life-like…or at least bedazzle it. In other news…
….so then the pig says, “It’s not technically a wooden leg.”
Dear Heather Mills,
Heather Mills brings some back up legs to dance rehearsal for Dancing With the Stars. I don’t think that’s fair. When the other contestants are tired they don’t get to put on new legs. I call foul! As a side note, I think she should tattoo one of the back up legs to make it more life-like…or at least bedazzle it. In other news… 
