More Mindless Stories on ‘go to skank’
26
Meet Skanky McWhore-Wife!
21
Ashley Tisdale’s Nose: Part 2
Ashley Tisdale was continuing the tour of her new nose as she appeared at the Starlight Starbright Children’s Foundation Winter Wonderland event in LA. I’m confused by this. Isn’t her new nose supposed to make her look better? I’m not saying she doesn’t look good. Yeah, no actually I am. Maybe she needs to slut is up a bit in order to take notice away from her drastic new look. Perhaps she should “go straight to skank,” as I have recommended others to do in the past. Ashley is definitely suffering from Jennifer Grey Syndrome, where she looks like a completely different person. Maybe the swelling and stuff will go down? Maybe she can ask them to just put everything back to the way it was before? Either way she should show a little boob action in order to shift focus. Hmmm, I should help manage celebrities. I have the best ideas.
19
When Will Amanda Bynes Go to Skank?
When oh when will Amanda Bynes go to skank? Amanda Bynes has been everywhere lately promoting the new movie she’s in, Hairspray. Personally, I think the movie looks like a bad acid trip and will never see it, but I digress. Moving on, so Amanda is everywhere (pictured above on TRL the other day) and she’s the sticky sweet girl who never seems to do anything wrong. While most people probably see this as refreshing from the rest of the trash that runs around Hollywood, I’ve began to wonder, “when will Amanda Bynes go to skank?” I think we’re ready for it. It will definitely make her more interesting and if she did go to skank then that would increase the chances of me wanting to see her movies and/or watch her TV shows. Until then I am officially boycotting Amanda Bynes. If you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything. Wait, was that just a public service announcement? I think it was. Good day.28
Because This is How You Buy Groceries?
I hear it’s almost impossible to go grocery shopping when you’re not dressed like a street walker. I mean, just ask a street walker. Britney did a little grocery shopping the other day with her Siamese twin, Alli, and made sure that she had on her shiny high heels and daisy-dukes that allowed her gut to hang over the waste-band. Alli was kind enough to pick up the Windex, probably in hopes of trying to clean up Britney’s career. Ohhhhh! Stop me if you heard this one before. Try the veal. Tip your waitress!
Is Britney taking my advice about “going to skank?” When your career is in the crapper and there is nothing left to do to safe it, just go to skank. I’m sure Britney reads this.
27
Harriet Carter Wednesday: The Stalker
- A finalist for the prestigious Ms. Trump Taj Mahal (The Apprentice on NBC)
- Jersey Style Magazine covergirl (breezy, yet easy)
- Longhorn Tobacco Calendar Girl (Mmm smokey and cancerous)
- Sweetheart Gowns Bridal Magazine
- And, of course, the Harriet Carter Catalog
At least this finally explains why I haven’t been able to break into the Harriet Carter modeling industry. I’m just a simple dude from a blog. I’ve never been on a New Jersey magazine cover and have never been a finalist for anything.
I love how “failure model chick” is all kind and sweet modeling a hat or leopard caftan in the Harriet Carter Crapalog, but get her in another photoshoot and she goes straight to skank. Honestly, I think that’s her best bet anyway. Going straight to skank is always your best bet when your career is tanking. I actually just spoke of this concept the other day in my Brooke Hogan blog post. I wonder what Harriet is going to think when she discovers that her cute little hat model is also being photographed with her boobs hanging out. I mean what will the customers think? You think they’re still going to buy a car seat neck pillow or a flying pig hat that claps when you pull the string from “failure model chick” now that they know her troubled past? Sales will likely plummet. Could this be the end of the Harriet Carter catalog? Da-da-duuuuuun!
