More Mindless Stories on ‘getting to know YOU’

Getting to Know, YOU!

Time for another installment of Getting to Know YOU! Here we take a look at what words people are typing into Google and somehow landing on ImBringingBloggingBack. Brilliant. As always, I list out my favorites of the recent past and add my own thoughts after. Enjoy it, but not too much.

• brooke hogan lost pants (and dignity)
• dump in her pants (hooooooooot!)
• have such big boobs – why (because God has a brilliant sense of humor….and you’re kind of a whore)
• “katherine mcphee” “wearing clogs” (they really mean business with all the quotes)
• sniff jennifer aniston’s bum (I’m sure if you just ask her she’ll let you)
• are sasha and ally wearing the same dress on newport harbor (are you in a time machine?)
• christmas lights covered in bird poop (festive)
• davina two bears and divorce from brady two bears (seriously I have no idea what this means)
• diddler trophy photos (a time when you don’t want to be #1)
• go married in mexico can i get annulment (can you get a dictionary?)
• horns sluts in toilet (just use 2000 Flushes)
• how to pronounce heidi montag (heidi montag)
• i got a perm (i’m sorry)
• kelly ripa fidgety drug habit (regis?)
• paula abdul diaper (soon, my friends, soon)
• show me old lady camel toe (survey says……!)

Getting To Know You: Jodie Sweetin Edition

Time for another installment of Getting to Know YOU! Here we take a look at what words people are typing into Google and somehow landing on ImBringingBloggingBack. With the upcoming release of her new book, “unSweetined,” people arriving to IBBB with Jodie Sweetin or Stephanie Tanner references is at an all time high.  Brilliant. As always, I list out my favorites of the past week and add my own thoughts after. Enjoy it, but not too much.

• jodie sweetin cameltoe (how rude! but if someone has the pics, please send)
• was jodie sweetin on juvies? (i wish. maybe if there’s a relapse.  we’ll hold out hope)
• when does jodie sweetin’s book come out (none of your business)
• is mr bear in jodie sweetin’s book (oh god if he is I hope it’s like a lifesize pop-up book!)
• jodie sweetin snorting meth on the today show with the olsen twins (i mean, who in their right mind thinks this actually happened?!)
• buy jodie sweetin’s meth pipe (i smell a bewing business deal!)
• jodie sweetin and kimmy gibbler doing drugs (leave kimmy out of this!)
• how rude sweetin is a meth face (punctuation? any punctuation? no? fine.)
• stephanie tanner walks in on uncle jesse and ant becky doing their taxes (rookie question. it was michelle tanner of course.)
• what is jodie sweetin up to now besides drugs (she’s clean and sober, so watch your mouth or i’ll wash it out with cheap meth!)
• does anyone know if jodie sweetin bought fake boobs? (guilty)

Getting to Know, YOU!

 

Time for another installment of Getting to Know YOU!Here we take a look at what words people are typing into Google and somehow landing on ImBringingBloggingBack. Brilliant. As always, I list out my favorites of the past week and add my own thoughts after. Enjoy it, but not too much.

• another word for what i’m bringing to the table (syphillus?)
• aretha in cutoffs (IBBB with his eyes cut out)
• gawker city recap (ain’t got nothin’ on my recap)
• lollypop out the hookers snatch (similar to hollowing out a pumpkin)
• kim kardashian yawning (nope, that is america yawning)
• dressing hypnotized people (see you in jail!)
• eva longoria ass great (insert caveman voice – yes. eva. longoria. ass. great.)
• eva longoria birthdate ssn maiden name (i smell identity theft!)
• i want to sell my product in the harriet carter catolgue (i want you to, too! I also want you to not spell it “catolgue”)
• it only takes one person to spill the beans and a domino effect is created that could lead to problems for people linked indirectly (ah yes, as a wise man once said)
• pitchers of her cameltoe britney spears (how many pitchers before you have to go?)
• where can i buy jewelry brooke hogan wears (in a dumpster)
• where did heidi’s puppy go (to hell)
• proof that the hills is scripted (tueday nights from 9-9:30 pm)

Getting to Know, YOU!

Time for another installment of Getting to Know YOU!Here we take a look at what words people are typing into Google and somehow landing on ImBringingBloggingBack. Brilliant. As always, I list out my favorites of the past week and add my own thoughts after. Enjoy it, but not too much.

• intervention – janet how are her kids? (God almighty!  I knew this was entrapment!)
• “dump in her pants” (so hot)
• 79 photos of Barbara Walters in low cut tops (78.5 photos too many)
• amanda bynes falling into a couch in slow motion while wearing a white dress and having her legs go up in the air and give us an upskirt view of her ass (no joke, this was real.  lofty goals.)
• bindi annoying bitch (that is so wrong to say. it’s bindi annoying f’n little bitch)
• butt shots of barbara streisand (why? why? how come? why?)
• do nuts cause herpes flair up (deez nutz don’t)
• guest list of ike turner (Mr. Closed Fist and Mr. Open Fist)
• how do you like wednesday? (i love it, thanks for asking)
• mother & daughter whores (Uh, who is ‘Dina and Lindsay Lohan?”)
• my dog is walking in circles and confused (time to flush the dog)

Getting to Know, YOU!

 

Time for another installment of Getting to Know YOU!Here we take a look at what words people are typing into Google and somehow landing on ImBringingBloggingBack. Brilliant. As always, I list out my favorites of the past week and add my own thoughts after. Enjoy it, but not too much.

• why does ally from the city look so sleepy (because she’s Sleepy Time Ally! Zzzzz Zzzzz)
• too old to wear abercrombie (if you’re googling it, you’ve already answered the question)
• i hate you both (never talk to me again)
• kids with bad teeth pictures (yeah i’m talking to you, bindi irwin, you f’n little bitch)
• 28 nude pictures of alex mccord (27.5 pictures too many)
• boobs celebrity no block outs (i promise, crosses don’t count)
• candace cameron sunglasses (kimmy gibbler will stop at nothing)
• crested butte sucks ass (heidi’s horse typed that)
• dear kirstin, i hate you, i hate you, i hate you (awwwww that’s sweet)
• did pam anderson hit the wall (5 times)
• does cherie johnson drink coffee (seriously, who wonders that??)
• douche us (i try to douche you every day)
• dude that looks like herpes ya man that is herpes it probably happened when you ate that lollypop out of that hooker snatch (i shit you not…someone typed that in. brilliant. well said.)
• how many calories do i burn pooping (perfectly normal question. 7.)
• how saint olivia of palermo lighted the world (by joining the cast of “the city”)
• how to keep legs closed (superglue)
• im bringing blogging back who runs it (i do. leave a message. beep.)
• ugly white boy with unibrow (why did you end up here when you typed that?)
• what is with ramonas eyes on real housewives of nyc (it’s the ambiance)
• where did spencer buy heidi’s ring (the props department)

Getting to Know, YOU!

Time for another installment of Getting to Know YOU! Here we take a look at what words people are typing into Google and somehow landing on ImBringingBloggingBack. Brilliant. As always, I list out my favorites of the past week and add my own thoughts after. Enjoy it, but not too much.

• whats black and white and red all over (lindsay lohan on Ash Wednesday?)
• intervention god almight lady (i’m a sex addict!)
• j lo cameltoe (j toe?)
• kicked in the vag (Mrs. Blonsky?)
• using tv headphone jack for external speakers (you’ve come to the right place)
• eatin’ peached on a hardwood floor (ain’t nothin’ cuter)
• “montezuma’s revenge” “her pants” (she sounds messy)
• alcohol makes me achey (makes me happy, ole!)
• are kimberly on the hills and erin on the city the same person (yes)
• between the legs of britney spears (the paparazzi)
• bitch thumbs (similar to chicken fingers)
• dinosaur and sluts (check your social studies book. unit 4)
• how do you make the sims fall down the stairs (have ray pruit push them)
• how to become a wig model (that’s right, shoot high!)
• joyce dewitt feet (seriously, why?)
• kathy lee gifford show me your boobs (no one says that)
• puerto rico hood bitches (sounds pleasant)
• uncle jessie and aunt betty (brilliant)

Well it seems like one thing has stayed the same….people are pervs.  Good day.

Getting to Know YOU!

• kicked in the vag (Nicki Blonsky’s mother. Ding Ding Ding!)
• olivia palermo sucks (I wish)
• “bigger the ass” (Small the chest)
• a pig called Harriet (Carter!)
• are girls impressionable (Diddler alert! Diddler alert!)
• aretha franklin diarrhea (ch ch change….change your drawers)
• celebrity blonde accidental nudity show crotch green dress (is it bad that I know that this person is searching for Lindsay Lohan when she was on that boat?)
• Christmas church jokes (you’ve, clearly, come to the right place for that)
• drunk girl fack up ass (yeah, fack her)
• has anyone ever died from intervention on a&e (yes, just me inside)
• heidi you’re a whore with a bad spanish accent (si senor. more tequila jose!)
• how to get the white trash pregnant look (that’s it, aim high)
• inflatable horse dong (hahahaha I swear to God)
• is Christmas on the 5th? (Yes, next year it is)
• list mase orphanages with a baby girl named suri (run, Suri….run!!)
• queen latifah person telephone number (yeah, because that’s online)
• she’s so pretty and witty intervention (she’s my Kristy!)

Getting to Know YOU!

• my favorite dj is a tanner (brilliant. motto for life)
• beyonce + skinny jeans + camel toe (i love cameltoe math problems)
• kelly ripa is a lollipop head (and you’re a dumb dumb head)
• “where are all the white people” (nebraska)
• “her boots stink” (so does your mullet)
• “wooden leg” “alyssa milano” (seriously, best rumor ever)
• 2 in the ass (and one in the neck)
• are courtney cox and jennifer aniston really friends (haha i love this! are the Friends really friends!?)
• buusy bretney spears (don’t know what 2 of those words mean)
• celebrity gossip with raft (that’s what I’m missing….a raft!)
• chicks doing other things to other chicks (did Peter Griffin Google this?)
• circumcise boyfriend (run boyfriend runnnn!)
• dakota fanning whore? (yes, dakota fanning whore)
• dead weave (Kim?)
• is donald trump kim big papa on the real housewives of atlanta (good guess, but I’m sticking with john goodman)
• is tina turner beyonce’s mother (yes)
• mary-kate olsen tickling jodie sweetin feet (seriousy? i’m called the police)
• terri irwin riding a camel (toe)
• why do fake fish stink (because you store them down your pants)

Well that concludes another segment of Getting to Know YOU! Clearly most of you are still crazy perverts. Carry on.

Getting to Know YOU!

• audrina farts (and stays smiling)
• midgets and unicorns (Webster riding My Little Pony?)
• loose sluts (sink ships)
• “poop in her pants” pleasure (it is a treat)
• “excuses for a black eye” (I burnt the roast)
• “sell your sex tape” crystal and john (yeah, you guys should totally sell it)
• ‘bottle on snowmans back’ (naturally)
• bindi sue irwin getting her award (for the biggest little bitch)
• dr. moore kicked out vagina (where is vagina staying now?)
• hep c vanilla (it comes in flavors now? i’m holding out for cookies and cream)
• holiday camel toe (ho ho toe!)
• i like her to show me her genitals (it’s nice when you ask politly)
• is spencer pratt really steve sanders (to me he is, yes)
• make tyra fat (she can do it on her on thank you very much)
• mickey mouse sticking middle finger up (oh no! why mickey? why??)
• what’s wrong with amy winehouse (nothing. she’s fine.)
• where is harriet carter (in my heart)

  www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack

Getting to Know YOU!

• antm blogger jenny (that’s right folks, find her here)
• free cameltoe (in today’s economy this is a good deal)
• elderly sluts (thank you for being a friend)
• tina turner’s ex-husband ike just beat the ever loving piss out of texas (hit me again!)
• “who shot mindy” (probably Mork)
• bruce jenner transgender (hahahhahaha)
• cram marc robot mc (robot combust….ro-bot mal-func-tion)
• darleen hit by school bus (you’re thinking Andrea Zuckerman)
• details on harriet carter singing turtle (um, it’s white-trash plastic crap?)
• eva longoria sucks a banana (ahhh how people love their fetishes)
• getting skanked (3 easy steps by Dina Lohan)
• how to get rid of starfish in bathrooms (stop doing drugs)
• i would like to be like claire huxtable (who wouldn’t)
• is it bird pee or poop on the windshield (it’s technically bird period)
• kid gets vagina in face (seriously, what?!)
• la cucaracha la cucaracha running up and down the stairs lyrics (uh, those are them)
• midgets and unicorns (magical and fun!)
• perez hilton is tori spelling coming back (wrong place)
• punch her in the face to prove you’re right (sounds like a logical plan)
• rachel platt nyc adoptions 2008 (is FMC going to adopt me!!!!!)
• sitting on the toilet after candace cameron (geek burger with chesse)
• valentines day pig that squeals walgrees (someone is getting the best. gift. ever.)
• when did cindy and mccain start dating? (1493)
• whose bringing blogging back (me)
• is stephanie’s real name sandy sanders? (i. love. it)

www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack

Getting to Know YOU!

• what is lauren’s job called on the hills (uh, fake? staged? scripted? not real? an illusion?)
• “remember when mona from who’s the boss had to live on top of the” (of what? the answer is ‘garage.’ garage.)
• bring back donna martin (agreed)
• girl addicted to computer cleaner (it’s like i’m walking on sunshine!)
• 48 old boobs (2 turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree)
• “different strokes” arnold report card (Duddly? Sam?)
• “tuck her penis” (ask questions later)
• “we’ll never be friends” dubbed (crafty “hills” editing)
• antm isis winkie (she uses “winkie-b-gone”)
• best way to smuggle drugs (there’s no hope with dope)
• bob saget pervert (you got it dude)
• call michelle tanner (moshi moshi dude)
• caribbean fat ass (hey mon!)
• don knots penis (i mean, really?)
• hair is straight, then i get hot and it gets puffy (no idea)
• has hilary duff ever wet the bed (she’s duffed the bed, not wet it)
• how to make your hair like chase crawford (piss, lots of it)
• i’m 13 and my crotch itches (call your doctor, Dakota Fanning)
• my favorite dj is a tanner (mine too! mine too!)
• neil patrick harris and wallet and back pocket (watch your wallet dude, you’re getting mugged soon)
• rusty charo sex (ouch, coochie coochie!)

  www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack

Getting to Know YOU!

• kathy lee gifford pokies (gelman is relentless in his searches)
• kelly ripa blows (where exact, when exactly, what time exactly, how much exactly)
• sexy terri irwin (really? teri? really?)
• bruce jenner is married to a whore (and has 3 whore-like step daughters)
• blessed mother talks about food (yes, her one time to be seen and heard and she talks about food to ImBringingBloggingBack)
• brad pitt is white trash (rich white trash with a hot wife)
• britney spears crying because someone stole her pants 2008 (lindsay!)
• can a celebrity stop a commercial that is imitating her (no Paris, you can’t)
• can butt implants melt (if the seat is too hot)
• celebrity sex teeth (yeah sex teeth are hot….huh?)
• crack open the wine and cut the cheese (totally a Harriet Carter t-shirt)
• dakota fanning want fuck (no. i don’t think dakota fanning want fuck)
• david archuleta cotton candy crotch balls marco marco (strike me dead if I’m making this up)
• direct-to-dvd movies about ponies and fashion olsen (sorry that one is sold out)
• don knott’s penis (mr firley, no!)
• fonzie toddler jacket (oh please don’t do that to the poor kid. Ayyyy!)
• i miss when screwing was something only bob the builder did (better times, better times)
• light socket penis (yoooooowwwwwwww! ok one more time)
• mtv tina tekula (is that tila teqila’s sister?)
• tommy lasorda slimfast fart (no comment)
• tori spelling sitting on the toilet (donna martin’s constipated?)
• what is lauren’s job called on the hills? (fake)
• wood shoes for sluts (sweet! Holland whores!)
• why is spencer pratt called steve sanders (because I named him that and it’s sweeping the nation!)

www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack

Getting to Know YOU!

• brody breaks bathroom stall promise (he totally did, liar.)
• freckles and tanning (too late dina/lindsay)
• what sluts wear (slutty clothes)
• woman who dug up her dead boyfriend to drink the beer that was burried with him (she sounds like my kind of gal!)
• does a green porch light mean drug use (no it means the lady has been dead since christmas)
• don’t you want to see these clothes on me (no, heidi, we don’t)
• dump in her pants (doris?)
• “how to send hate mail” and not get caught (let me know what you find)
• “i look a bit like sarah jessica parker” (ouch! man hands and all?)
• “looking right at the camera” cock mouth (pervs)
• african american girl nurses rinse poop in dirty underwear in hospital public patients toilets (wait, what??)
• audrina’s beaver teeth (that’s like two birds with one stone)
• bette midler diet plan (non-existent)
• check out the hook while my (dj revolves it)
• comeback sayings about whores and skanks (you’ve arrived at the right place)
• dakota fanning wet the bed (chris hanson is here to see you)
• did the celts perform circumsisions (only on the Lakers)
• don’t live in a house with bird droppings all over the walls (yeah, don’t)

Getting to Know YOU!

• alyssa milano’s arm hair (it’s not just for breakfast!)
• crayon ball paris (sponsored by burnt sienna and brick red)
• what happened to heidi’s dog (nose job gone bad and killed the dog)
• full house duck lips (that kid ruled)
• how to leave your husband (cheat on him with his best friend. that’ll do)
• terri irwin sexy (blagh, I’ll take the physical challenge)
• “car jewelry” selfstick (that’s gonna be one sweet ride!)
• heroin hair (who is: Amy Winehouse?)
• what guitars does shakira play (red ones)
• arrested with no pants (uh-oh Lindsay is up to something…)
• kermit the frog yelling (why? he’s never mad)
• my dog is anxious because of the move (leave him behind then. he’s dead weight)
• sluts on the loose (catch ‘em while you can)

People are nuts. Good times.

Getting to Know YOU!

• bindi irwin cameltoe (even I think that’s wrong)
• her penis (surprise!)
• cartoon ticket booth (mickey and minnie’s new business venture I’d assume)
• “if there’s a sex tape where are the receipts?” (whitney??)
• bitch thumbs (is that like chicken fingers?)
• crap celebrity gossip (you’ve come to the right place!)
• elizabeth shue blue bathing suit karate kid (it’s Alli with an “i”)
• great celebrity interview questions (who would win in an Olsen chicken fight?)
• how sluts dress (in red)
• i’m in tears because people are trashing miley cyrus my celebrity role model (i’m in tears because you googled that)
• is it normal to smell burnt toast after a concussion? (no, only during a stroke)
• red headed slut and her hoe bag sister (it’s like Dina Lohan can never remember her kids names)
• should we idolize celebrities (uh, yeah, who else are we supposed to idolize?)
• terri irwin sexy (terri irwin is googling herself again)

You guys are a bunch of sickos.