More Mindless Stories on ‘getting to know YOU’

Getting to Know, YOU: The Hills Edition

Time for another installment of Getting to Know YOU! This time around we’re dedicating this segment to “The Hills” because, to me, it will never die.  Here we take a look at what words people are typing into Google and somehow landing on ImBringingBloggingBack. Brilliant. As always, I list out my favorites of the recent past and add my own thoughts after. Enjoy it, but not too much.

• what does justin bobby brescia do for a living (not much anymore, although not much before either)
• heidi montag before and after (like, before before before and after after or just before and after?)
• spencer pratt steve sanders (same same)
• stephanie pratt meth (the good old days)
• the hills nose jobs (buy 1 get one)
• “the hills editing mistakes” (seasons 1-6)
• “whitney port” “speech impediment” (what are you talkinK about?)
• audrina’s vagina (…is now for sale)
• did steve sanders blow out this perm (yes, on the regular)
• heidi’s first nose job (those were such simpler times)
• hills cast favorite drink (a Scriptini)
• how do you pronounce audrina (audrina)
• is justin bobby’s dad mel gibson (I swear to God)
• lauren conrad srunk (very srunk)
• lc wrinkles mustache (these are a few of my favorite things)
• spencer murders heidi (maybe if there’s a spinoff?)
• the hills cast herpes tree (go green!)
• what happened to heidi’s puppy (cut up for parts and injected into Montag)
• where do they sell brody jenner’s lakers shirt (DoucheLocker)
• who on the hills has a disease (who doesn’t?)

Getting to Know, YOU!

Time for another installment of Getting to Know YOU! Here we take a look at what words people are typing into Google and somehow landing on ImBringingBloggingBack. Brilliant. As always, I list out my favorites of the recent past and add my own thoughts after. Enjoy it, but not too much.

• love letters erin kaplan (really? who besides me searches for this?  see you at the meetings!)
• bindi irwin corporate sellout (no comment)
• dinah shore show sally struthers gets tickled (seriously, what?)
• do I have to tell the hotel i’m bringing kids? (nope, i’ll do it for you)
• erin kaplan lawsuit restrain blogging back (not yet…as of today)
• george clooney in school was a loser (is this systematic bullying?)
• i’m poor help me (Lohan?)
• nasty words to say in a letter to ex boyfriend (poop, caca, ding ding, boobies)
• sue mtv for not playing music (yes. that sounds like money and time well spent)
• what’s wrong with allie lutz’s mouth? (suffers from skank-lip)
• why does olivia still work at elle (ratings)
• proof that the hills is scripted (my eyes)

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Getting to Know, YOU!

Time for another installment of Getting to Know, YOU!  Here we take a look at what words people are typing into Google and somehow landing on ImBringingBloggingBack. Brilliant. As always, I list out my favorites of the recent past and add my own thoughts after. Enjoy it, but not too much.

• what girl from the hills is on crack (what girl isn’t?)
• her boots stink (all lohan, all the time)
• a b*tch pooping on a plate when is sh*tting on a chair (huh? is that like a sex thing?)
• are celebrities teeth real (only 2 of them)
• cherie johnson gossip (not too much besides that whole refrigerator incident)
• famous one arm women (why?)
• is gretchen on real housewives still with kenny rogers? (yes. yes she is.)
• she gives herself a wine enema, gets drunk (is that even possible?)
• spencer is going to murder heidi (hopefully a murder suicide)
• darlene montag gets kicked out of spenders (spenders? is Enzo on “the google?”)
• i i’m in heat (ow owwww!)
• meet audrey then shows off some skin beer and boobies (sure.  she sounds nice)

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Getting to Know, YOU!

Time for another installment of Getting to Know, YOU!  Here we take a look at what words people are typing into Google and somehow landing on ImBringingBloggingBack. Brilliant. As always, I list out my favorites of the recent past and add my own thoughts after. Enjoy it, but not too much.

• lauren conrad drunk (drunk off mustache love)
• sluts on the loose (catch ‘em if ya can)
• i hate you both (never talk to me again)
• what does holly montag’s tattoo say (it’s actually the script glued to her arm)
• hitchhiking sluts (sluts need exercise too)
• i got a perm (you’ve come to the right place)
• kelly cutrone sober (…is the worst Cutrone possible)
• the hills cast member with herpes (Enzo)
• what is a fupa (if you’re Googling it, you have it)
• “my fake leg” (Heather Mills: Lost and Found)
• barbara streisand pees her pants at airport customs (seriously?  Why?)
• crappy kitty (Hello Kitty’s 3^rd world knock-off)
• dear bindi (oh if I had a dime for every time I started a letter with this)
• is lindsay lohan still alive (as of today, barely.  Check back tomorrow)
• got pushed in the pool in my clothes (sounds like an 80’s slapstick comedy)
• get olsen eyebrows (better than Olsen crabs)
• fergie’s report card (F)
• pissing fantasias (a Broadway sensation)
• shannon doherty plumbers butt (thanks Dancing With the Stars!)
• wednesday suck (not with Harriet Carter!)

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Getting to Know, YOU!

Time for another installment of Getting to Know YOU! Here we take a look at what words people are typing into Google and somehow landing on ImBringingBloggingBack. Brilliant. As always, I list out my favorites of the recent past and add my own thoughts after. Enjoy it, but not too much.

• horns sluts in toilet (2000 flushes)
• bowersox get her teeth fixed (is that a threat?)
• bury someone on the oregon trail? (ugh, me.  The banker from Boston.  Every time!)
• eve plumb fart (farting with glasses makes her look positively goofy!)
• girl with fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva on tyra (does that mean 2 vaginas?)
• heidi montag house i am not a staker (…and you van never prove I am)
• i’m one of those people who brush their teeth every time (you mean, like, a human?)
• kelly ripa doing jersey girl accent (best part of the entire show)
• margaret perrin after gastric bypass (i knew it!  She’s not a Christiaaaaaaan!!)
• audrina justin bobby 2010 (really?  Who’s the person who still wants to know?)
• is kelly cutrone’s facebook real? (yes. They’re real and they’re fantastic)
• dog conal slut cakes a big one (oh.  I only had a small one.  Sorry.)
• karate kid backwards (kid karate?)
• lynn real housewife hug like horse (I suppose she does like hugging as much as horses do?)|
• rolled up jeans worn by sally field in boniva commercials (the answer is: mom jeans.  mom jeans.)
• sluts with dogs (skanks with cats)

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Getting to Know, YOU!

Time for another installment of Getting to Know YOU! Here we take a look at what words people are typing into Google and somehow landing on ImBringingBloggingBack. Brilliant. As always, I list out my favorites of the recent past and add my own thoughts after. Enjoy it, but not too much.

• brooke hogan lost pants (and dignity)
• dump in her pants (hooooooooot!)
• have such big boobs – why (because God has a brilliant sense of humor….and you’re kind of a whore)
• “katherine mcphee” “wearing clogs” (they really mean business with all the quotes)
• sniff jennifer aniston’s bum (I’m sure if you just ask her she’ll let you)
• are sasha and ally wearing the same dress on newport harbor (are you in a time machine?)
• christmas lights covered in bird poop (festive)
• davina two bears and divorce from brady two bears (seriously I have no idea what this means)
• diddler trophy photos (a time when you don’t want to be #1)
• go married in mexico can i get annulment (can you get a dictionary?)
• horns sluts in toilet (just use 2000 Flushes)
• how to pronounce heidi montag (heidi montag)
• i got a perm (i’m sorry)
• kelly ripa fidgety drug habit (regis?)
• paula abdul diaper (soon, my friends, soon)
• show me old lady camel toe (survey says……!)

Getting To Know You: Jodie Sweetin Edition

Time for another installment of Getting to Know YOU! Here we take a look at what words people are typing into Google and somehow landing on ImBringingBloggingBack. With the upcoming release of her new book, “unSweetined,” people arriving to IBBB with Jodie Sweetin or Stephanie Tanner references is at an all time high.  Brilliant. As always, I list out my favorites of the past week and add my own thoughts after. Enjoy it, but not too much.

• jodie sweetin cameltoe (how rude! but if someone has the pics, please send)
• was jodie sweetin on juvies? (i wish. maybe if there’s a relapse.  we’ll hold out hope)
• when does jodie sweetin’s book come out (none of your business)
• is mr bear in jodie sweetin’s book (oh god if he is I hope it’s like a lifesize pop-up book!)
• jodie sweetin snorting meth on the today show with the olsen twins (i mean, who in their right mind thinks this actually happened?!)
• buy jodie sweetin’s meth pipe (i smell a bewing business deal!)
• jodie sweetin and kimmy gibbler doing drugs (leave kimmy out of this!)
• how rude sweetin is a meth face (punctuation? any punctuation? no? fine.)
• stephanie tanner walks in on uncle jesse and ant becky doing their taxes (rookie question. it was michelle tanner of course.)
• what is jodie sweetin up to now besides drugs (she’s clean and sober, so watch your mouth or i’ll wash it out with cheap meth!)
• does anyone know if jodie sweetin bought fake boobs? (guilty)

Getting to Know, YOU!

 

Time for another installment of Getting to Know YOU!Here we take a look at what words people are typing into Google and somehow landing on ImBringingBloggingBack. Brilliant. As always, I list out my favorites of the past week and add my own thoughts after. Enjoy it, but not too much.

• another word for what i’m bringing to the table (syphillus?)
• aretha in cutoffs (IBBB with his eyes cut out)
• gawker city recap (ain’t got nothin’ on my recap)
• lollypop out the hookers snatch (similar to hollowing out a pumpkin)
• kim kardashian yawning (nope, that is america yawning)
• dressing hypnotized people (see you in jail!)
• eva longoria ass great (insert caveman voice – yes. eva. longoria. ass. great.)
• eva longoria birthdate ssn maiden name (i smell identity theft!)
• i want to sell my product in the harriet carter catolgue (i want you to, too! I also want you to not spell it “catolgue”)
• it only takes one person to spill the beans and a domino effect is created that could lead to problems for people linked indirectly (ah yes, as a wise man once said)
• pitchers of her cameltoe britney spears (how many pitchers before you have to go?)
• where can i buy jewelry brooke hogan wears (in a dumpster)
• where did heidi’s puppy go (to hell)
• proof that the hills is scripted (tueday nights from 9-9:30 pm)

Getting to Know, YOU!

Time for another installment of Getting to Know YOU!Here we take a look at what words people are typing into Google and somehow landing on ImBringingBloggingBack. Brilliant. As always, I list out my favorites of the past week and add my own thoughts after. Enjoy it, but not too much.

• intervention – janet how are her kids? (God almighty!  I knew this was entrapment!)
• “dump in her pants” (so hot)
• 79 photos of Barbara Walters in low cut tops (78.5 photos too many)
• amanda bynes falling into a couch in slow motion while wearing a white dress and having her legs go up in the air and give us an upskirt view of her ass (no joke, this was real.  lofty goals.)
• bindi annoying bitch (that is so wrong to say. it’s bindi annoying f’n little bitch)
• butt shots of barbara streisand (why? why? how come? why?)
• do nuts cause herpes flair up (deez nutz don’t)
• guest list of ike turner (Mr. Closed Fist and Mr. Open Fist)
• how do you like wednesday? (i love it, thanks for asking)
• mother & daughter whores (Uh, who is ‘Dina and Lindsay Lohan?”)
• my dog is walking in circles and confused (time to flush the dog)

Getting to Know, YOU!

 

Time for another installment of Getting to Know YOU!Here we take a look at what words people are typing into Google and somehow landing on ImBringingBloggingBack. Brilliant. As always, I list out my favorites of the past week and add my own thoughts after. Enjoy it, but not too much.

• why does ally from the city look so sleepy (because she’s Sleepy Time Ally! Zzzzz Zzzzz)
• too old to wear abercrombie (if you’re googling it, you’ve already answered the question)
• i hate you both (never talk to me again)
• kids with bad teeth pictures (yeah i’m talking to you, bindi irwin, you f’n little bitch)
• 28 nude pictures of alex mccord (27.5 pictures too many)
• boobs celebrity no block outs (i promise, crosses don’t count)
• candace cameron sunglasses (kimmy gibbler will stop at nothing)
• crested butte sucks ass (heidi’s horse typed that)
• dear kirstin, i hate you, i hate you, i hate you (awwwww that’s sweet)
• did pam anderson hit the wall (5 times)
• does cherie johnson drink coffee (seriously, who wonders that??)
• douche us (i try to douche you every day)
• dude that looks like herpes ya man that is herpes it probably happened when you ate that lollypop out of that hooker snatch (i shit you not…someone typed that in. brilliant. well said.)
• how many calories do i burn pooping (perfectly normal question. 7.)
• how saint olivia of palermo lighted the world (by joining the cast of “the city”)
• how to keep legs closed (superglue)
• im bringing blogging back who runs it (i do. leave a message. beep.)
• ugly white boy with unibrow (why did you end up here when you typed that?)
• what is with ramonas eyes on real housewives of nyc (it’s the ambiance)
• where did spencer buy heidi’s ring (the props department)

Getting to Know, YOU!

Time for another installment of Getting to Know YOU! Here we take a look at what words people are typing into Google and somehow landing on ImBringingBloggingBack. Brilliant. As always, I list out my favorites of the past week and add my own thoughts after. Enjoy it, but not too much.

• whats black and white and red all over (lindsay lohan on Ash Wednesday?)
• intervention god almight lady (i’m a sex addict!)
• j lo cameltoe (j toe?)
• kicked in the vag (Mrs. Blonsky?)
• using tv headphone jack for external speakers (you’ve come to the right place)
• eatin’ peached on a hardwood floor (ain’t nothin’ cuter)
• “montezuma’s revenge” “her pants” (she sounds messy)
• alcohol makes me achey (makes me happy, ole!)
• are kimberly on the hills and erin on the city the same person (yes)
• between the legs of britney spears (the paparazzi)
• bitch thumbs (similar to chicken fingers)
• dinosaur and sluts (check your social studies book. unit 4)
• how do you make the sims fall down the stairs (have ray pruit push them)
• how to become a wig model (that’s right, shoot high!)
• joyce dewitt feet (seriously, why?)
• kathy lee gifford show me your boobs (no one says that)
• puerto rico hood bitches (sounds pleasant)
• uncle jessie and aunt betty (brilliant)

Well it seems like one thing has stayed the same….people are pervs.  Good day.

Getting to Know YOU!

• kicked in the vag (Nicki Blonsky’s mother. Ding Ding Ding!)
• olivia palermo sucks (I wish)
• “bigger the ass” (Small the chest)
• a pig called Harriet (Carter!)
• are girls impressionable (Diddler alert! Diddler alert!)
• aretha franklin diarrhea (ch ch change….change your drawers)
• celebrity blonde accidental nudity show crotch green dress (is it bad that I know that this person is searching for Lindsay Lohan when she was on that boat?)
• Christmas church jokes (you’ve, clearly, come to the right place for that)
• drunk girl fack up ass (yeah, fack her)
• has anyone ever died from intervention on a&e (yes, just me inside)
• heidi you’re a whore with a bad spanish accent (si senor. more tequila jose!)
• how to get the white trash pregnant look (that’s it, aim high)
• inflatable horse dong (hahahaha I swear to God)
• is Christmas on the 5th? (Yes, next year it is)
• list mase orphanages with a baby girl named suri (run, Suri….run!!)
• queen latifah person telephone number (yeah, because that’s online)
• she’s so pretty and witty intervention (she’s my Kristy!)

Getting to Know YOU!

• my favorite dj is a tanner (brilliant. motto for life)
• beyonce + skinny jeans + camel toe (i love cameltoe math problems)
• kelly ripa is a lollipop head (and you’re a dumb dumb head)
• “where are all the white people” (nebraska)
• “her boots stink” (so does your mullet)
• “wooden leg” “alyssa milano” (seriously, best rumor ever)
• 2 in the ass (and one in the neck)
• are courtney cox and jennifer aniston really friends (haha i love this! are the Friends really friends!?)
• buusy bretney spears (don’t know what 2 of those words mean)
• celebrity gossip with raft (that’s what I’m missing….a raft!)
• chicks doing other things to other chicks (did Peter Griffin Google this?)
• circumcise boyfriend (run boyfriend runnnn!)
• dakota fanning whore? (yes, dakota fanning whore)
• dead weave (Kim?)
• is donald trump kim big papa on the real housewives of atlanta (good guess, but I’m sticking with john goodman)
• is tina turner beyonce’s mother (yes)
• mary-kate olsen tickling jodie sweetin feet (seriousy? i’m called the police)
• terri irwin riding a camel (toe)
• why do fake fish stink (because you store them down your pants)

Well that concludes another segment of Getting to Know YOU! Clearly most of you are still crazy perverts. Carry on.

Getting to Know YOU!

• audrina farts (and stays smiling)
• midgets and unicorns (Webster riding My Little Pony?)
• loose sluts (sink ships)
• “poop in her pants” pleasure (it is a treat)
• “excuses for a black eye” (I burnt the roast)
• “sell your sex tape” crystal and john (yeah, you guys should totally sell it)
• ‘bottle on snowmans back’ (naturally)
• bindi sue irwin getting her award (for the biggest little bitch)
• dr. moore kicked out vagina (where is vagina staying now?)
• hep c vanilla (it comes in flavors now? i’m holding out for cookies and cream)
• holiday camel toe (ho ho toe!)
• i like her to show me her genitals (it’s nice when you ask politly)
• is spencer pratt really steve sanders (to me he is, yes)
• make tyra fat (she can do it on her on thank you very much)
• mickey mouse sticking middle finger up (oh no! why mickey? why??)
• what’s wrong with amy winehouse (nothing. she’s fine.)
• where is harriet carter (in my heart)

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Getting to Know YOU!

• antm blogger jenny (that’s right folks, find her here)
• free cameltoe (in today’s economy this is a good deal)
• elderly sluts (thank you for being a friend)
• tina turner’s ex-husband ike just beat the ever loving piss out of texas (hit me again!)
• “who shot mindy” (probably Mork)
• bruce jenner transgender (hahahhahaha)
• cram marc robot mc (robot combust….ro-bot mal-func-tion)
• darleen hit by school bus (you’re thinking Andrea Zuckerman)
• details on harriet carter singing turtle (um, it’s white-trash plastic crap?)
• eva longoria sucks a banana (ahhh how people love their fetishes)
• getting skanked (3 easy steps by Dina Lohan)
• how to get rid of starfish in bathrooms (stop doing drugs)
• i would like to be like claire huxtable (who wouldn’t)
• is it bird pee or poop on the windshield (it’s technically bird period)
• kid gets vagina in face (seriously, what?!)
• la cucaracha la cucaracha running up and down the stairs lyrics (uh, those are them)
• midgets and unicorns (magical and fun!)
• perez hilton is tori spelling coming back (wrong place)
• punch her in the face to prove you’re right (sounds like a logical plan)
• rachel platt nyc adoptions 2008 (is FMC going to adopt me!!!!!)
• sitting on the toilet after candace cameron (geek burger with chesse)
• valentines day pig that squeals walgrees (someone is getting the best. gift. ever.)
• when did cindy and mccain start dating? (1493)
• whose bringing blogging back (me)
• is stephanie’s real name sandy sanders? (i. love. it)

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