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More Mindless Stories on ‘george clooney’

May
23

George Clooney Pulls a Matt Lauer

You guys are always giving me crap for only talking about the racks of celebrities and the girls showing their “gentleman greeters.” So, on this Friday before Memorial Day, I thought I’d give something to the lady readers of IBBB. You asked for it, you get it. Enjoy a blury picture of George Clooney and his friend (who I believe is Kid Rock) vacationing in Puerto Vallarta without his blouse on. If you like seeing grandfathers at a 5 year olds pool party then this is the shot for you. Now don’t say I don’t give back to the readers.
Mar
12

George Clooney, WAIT! Don’t Get Married! I Have Scientific Research Why!

George Clooney STOP everything! Have you been thinking of getting married? Have you discussed this with your dad? Your mom? Have you consulted with Us Weekly? Well if you haven’t you might think twice about popping the question after you read this User Request Documentation Under Magazine Business (or officially known as: U.R.DUMB).

Voting for the president? President schmesident! People really want to vote on whether or not you should be getting married to Sarah Larson. And the results are in. America has voted. And the results……will be revealed after this commercial break. We’re back. The votes are in. After thousands of useless Americans voted…I’m sorry George. You should not be getting married to Sarah Larson. Now, if you could sing us out, that would be great.
Jan
29

George Clooney Says "No" to Hep C

I don’t know why some people are so against Hepatitis-C. George Clooney is denying that he and Pamela Anderson Lee Hep C Rock Anderson Again have gone out on a date. If you remember correctly, last week it was rumored that George and Pam went out for a dinner-date (who says that?) at the Valley Inn restaurant in Sherman Oaks, CA. However, George’s rep is now saying that George told him that, “I worked with Pam 7 years ago and haven’t seen her since. And I’ve never been to that restaurant.” Now, what I think what he really wanted to say was the following, “I banged Pam 7 years ago before she had Hep C and didn’t hit the wall. Why would I take her to that restaurant when we can’t have sex there? P.S I don’t want Hep C, so I will be staying away. P.P.S It’s not 1998 anymore.”

Poor Pam. Did she ever think the day would come when a guy would go on the record saying that he ISN’T dating her. Seriously, if the rumor was swirling I would totally go with it. Then, I would say I got Hep C (which should keep me in the news a little longer) and then I would say that I cured myself of it (which should put me back in the news). Then I’d become the national spokesman for the Hep C foundation. It’s really a win-win-win at this point. Wait, where the hell am I again?

Who Claims This!?!?

Oct
04

George Clooney to Date Your Mother


Oh that crazy George Clooney! George is trying to throw off the paparazzi by dating women, men, children, and some forest animals just to confuse everyone. Great plan George! When that comes crashing down and you end up alone I recommend calling back the forest animals. They’ll keep you warm in the winter….er…or so I heard.

Here’s a little snippet from George Clooney’s master plan to take over the world!

“I want to spend every single night for three months going out with a different famous actress. You know, Halle Berry, Salma Hayek the next, and then walk on the beach holding hands with Leonardo DiCaprio.” “People would still buy the magazines, they’d still buy the pictures, but they would always go, ‘I don’t know if these guys were putting us on or not.’”

Um, yeah. No George, I think people would always go, “Wow that guy is a friggin retard.” If they don’t, I will. I have a better idea. Here’s the deal. You’re George Clooney. Start acting like it. Start with Halle Berry and then finish with Halle Berry. It’s really a win-win. If you need additional advice, just let me know.

Who Planned That!?!