More Mindless Stories on ‘fauxlebrities’

When Did Kate Gosselin Turn Into “Sweet Dee” from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia?

Remember that lion’s mane that Kate Gosselin had super-glued to her scalp for her big “makeover?”  Well, apparently she just cut her weave and wanted to show it off while heading to Butter in NYC the other day.  She looks better, but when in the holy hell did she turn herself into Sweet Dee from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia?  And when this photo was taken on Friday (Feb 5th) NYC had a high of 25 degrees.  Where the hell is her coat??  Would she let any of her little brats outside the house without a coat in the winter?  Way to lead by example, Kate, way to lead by example.  That’s it, I’m suing for sole custody.  I think I have a good shot.

In other “Kate Gosselin is Ditching Her Kids” news, it is rumored that Kate will be co-hosting The View, again, on March 11th so, well, there’s that.  And that about wraps it up.  I miss It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  Insert sidewards sad face here.

When Did Hannah Montana Have a Baby?

Fresh off her recent fiance death tour, Tila Tequila (the Tamlyn Tomita of our generation) quickly moved onto her new tour, the “I’m Having My Brothers Baby” paparazzi blitz by sporting a $2 dollar sucky sucky wig and baby doll (the most real thing in this photo) at Kitson Kids in LA late last week.

Meanwhile, in other “Tila Tequila is Simultaneously Pregnant With Someone Else’s Baby” news, Tila is claiming that The Game is the father of her unborn baby and is threatening to have an abortion if The Game goes not claim responsibility.  This sits a bit uneasy with me.  However, I’m all for Tila aborting herself…if that’s possible…which…I think…it is.

The New York Emmy Awards Look Horrific

Who knew there was actually something called the New York Emmy Awards?  Can anyone just have an Emmy Awards?  Maybe I’ll have an IBBB Emmy Awards, in which Bindi Irwin will win “F’n Little Bitch of the Year” award and “The Hills” will be nominated in each category and will win in all categories, but one.  And in that one they will tie with Donna Martin being thrown down the stairs and Papouli dying.  Hmmm, I may be onto something.  I’ll have to look in to that.

Anyold, Dr Ruth Westheimer and Constantine Maroulis (ex American Idol finalist) were just some of the A-list stars who hammed it up for the cameras, by doing a little dance and remaining relevant during a recession.  I have no idea what that last part meant.  These Emmy Awards were held at the Marriott Marquis over the weekend.  Absolutely terrible.

Lauren’s Mustache Must Be Kinda Pissed

I bet Lauren’s mustache is fuming! Fuming!  Once a sub-sub-sub cast member of The Hills and Lauren Cockpigs love interest, Doug (DouK) Reinhardt was spotted on a beach in Hawaii with Paris Hilton.  Perfect.

So that is all totally boring, but you know what we have NEVER discussed here on IBBB before?  The fact that DouK is the brother of Casey, the skanked-out-mess who was in Laguna Beach Season 3.  How did we never talk about this?  You remember Casey, right?  She was the chick who played “the new girl” and switched schools so she could be on Vagina Creek.  I believe she was a beauty pageant contestant too.  She would be the grown up version of Jon Benet Ramsey, had she not been dirt-napped.  My favorite part of her was her “baby doll” voice and Paris Hilton-like bleach blond puppet hair extensions.  So, uh, wait a sec.  It’s sorta like DouK is banging his sister.  Well that figures.  Pervs.

Caridee English, Alive, Makes News

Someone hand me my alarm clock because I need to wake up. Bonus points for me being loser enough to remember that Caridee English quote from America’s Next Top Model. ANTM winner, Caridee English, is not only still alive but is also allegedly dating fellow model Tyson Beckford. You may remember Tyson Beckford from such things as…things he modeled for. Anyway, Page Six is reporting that Caridee kicked her hometown boyfriend to the curb (as Ricki Lake audience members would say) and is now bumping Zoolanders with Tyson.

While Caridee was at the Entertainment Weekly upfronts she told Page Six that her ex-boyfriend stole $10,000 out her bank account and blew it in Vegas. What’s even more shocking is that a winner of America’s Next Top Model only has $10,000 in their bank account. I had $10,000 in my bank account when I was 15 and worked as a clerk at Walgreen’s. Yes I have lived a wild life.

Anyway, Caridee is hot sex so when she and Tyson call it quits I’m sure she’ll want to date a loser blogger like me. I’ll give her half of her missing money is she dates me. Wait, it that prostitution? Whatever.