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More Mindless Stories on ‘fantasia’

Feb
09

Fantasia’s Braces Worked. She’s Like the New Jan Brady (similar wig).

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I’m about to lose a lot of readers for saying what I’m about to say.  I realize this.  I know this.  I am fine with this.  Ready?  I’d like to take a second to say that Fantasia doesn’t look horrible.  In fact, she actually looks “ok.”  There, I said it.  It feels good.  It’s out there now.  If you recall, Fantasia slapped on some extra-heavy-duty metal braces on her teeth and, well, now her teeth aren’t as insane.  It also looks like she dropped a dress size or 10, which is working for her.

Look, I’m still wouldn’t play “Nookie Nightengale” with Fantasia, but she cleaned herself up a bit…for now. 

Fantasia and her Barney-purple dress was at the Clive Davis Grammy Party along with a bunch of other American Idol kids.  I hope they were asking Clive for money.  I would.

May
15

Is Fantasia Having a Stroke?


So I thought I’d put on the American Idol last night that all the kids are watching and figured I’d regret it. I didn’t. I’m grateful to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, that I put it on at just the right time. Did anyone see Fantasia “perform” last night? Well, I’m pretty sure the stage must have smelled like burnt toast because I think Fantasia was having a mix between a stroke and a couple of seizures while she sang. No joke, Fantasia is the ugliest singer ever. I don’t mean she is ugly and a singer. I mean while she sings, she sings ugly….kinda like people are ugly when they cry…..same thing. Simon’s face was priceless while Fantasia was declaring jihad on stage (as seen above). Enjoy this clip…..while it lasts.
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Aug
06

Today’s "Pretty" of the Day: Fantasia

Wow! Fame has really agreed with Fantasia. She looks hot! Oh and that’s not one of those mini water bottles. That’s actually a full sized water bubbler. She’s just that big! Oh, and before you all send me hate mail (as you always do when I tee off on Fantasia) I know that she’s a talent, and stars in The Color Purple, and beats off Oprah, and that I’m just a loser blogger who is talentless and should go to hell blah blah blah. Save it. I already have all of your hate mail printed and hanging on my refrigerator. P.S and I know your IP address and I’m telling your boss. Best wishes.

Who Shot That Mess, that Beautiful Mess!?!?
Jun
12

Fantasia Doesn’t Do the Bobo No ‘Mo!

I guess Fantasia sang at the Tony Awards the other night. I thought she was still in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top American Idol on Fox’s Hells Kitchen, no? Hmm, maybe I just confused my shows. Anyway, I love an adult who wears braces so I found this necessary to post. Mean? Maybe. I just feel like if you’re over 21 either punch your teeth out and get dentures or use the Invisalign braces that you can’t really see. If her teeth are too jacked up to use Invisalign then I say just keep doing Crystal Meth until your teeth fall out and then just jam white Chicklets into your gums. Problem solved! IBBB helps out celebrities in need each and every day.
Apr
19

Fantasia Cracks Me Up: Puke Now Please

For the love of all that is holy and good in this world! Celebrity Babylon is claiming that this is the one and only American Idol winner, Fantasia Barrino. Oh and in case you’re wondering, “yes” she is taking a cell phone pic of her ass and “no” those aren’t pants she’s wearing. The next picture shows, what I can only assume is, Fantasia falling in the bathroom and accidentally taking a picture of her big old Color Purple. That’s very motherly of her. Oh, and by the way feel free to pour bleach directly into your eyes and then into your keyword…in that particular order.
Personally, I don’t think it’s Fantasia. Without a doubt it’s Dudley from Different Strokes (Arnold’s buddy that got “diddled” in season 3). Seriously look again. It’s Dudley. I hope this becomes the cover of her next album. I mean, it will have to be one of the album covers that you have to unfold three times in order to see the whole picture, but you still get to see it. Is it possible that her ass needs braces too? What? Just asking.