More Mindless Stories on ‘eva longoria’
04
Hey Wait a Second! Eva Longoria Isn’t Supposed to Float, is She?
Dig up your great grandfather and tell him he’s back in style because Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are back again doing a little marketing for London Fog. This time the couple is helping sell the London Fog Spring collection. I’m surprised that Mario Lopez isn’t lurking somewhere in the background, but perhaps he’s just hiding in the box….or the wooden platform that Eva is standing on. Hey-oh!
Wearing a short white coat that hangs just above her “boom boom meckalecka boom boom” Eva squeaked, “I really like my white trench because, living in L.A. and San Antonio, we don’t have the need for big heavy coats. So I love light coats.”
Yeah. Light coats. Awesome.
03
Eva Stole Jessica Simpson’s Boobs
Ba-da-ba-ba-ba I’m lovin’ it! Ok, so this is the last blog post I’m doing about the CFDA Awards last night in NYC. But, I had to make the exception with this one since Eva Longoria brought the goods out to the award show. I owe it to her boobs. I owe it to the American Public (tough luck, Canada). I owe it to myself. I’m pretty sure Eva somehow stuffed Jessica Simpson’s boobs down her her shirt. I bet that Ken Paves dude has something to do with this. He’s always with those two and probably stole Jessica’s rack and passed it on to Eva. He’s a tricky hair-cutterist?
15
Eva Longoria Officially Declared Jihad
Eva Longoria is in the middle of a stinky disaster sandwich (it exists, trust me). She may look all smiles, but when Eva was trying to enjoy the Spurs game I’m pretty sure she’s in process of declaring jihad. Time to elevate that wacky color coded alert system to red! Eva was surrounded by some dude to the left of her and the guy that played Punjab to the right of her. I bet that area smelled minty fresh. That wasn’t offensive, right? Anyway, if someone were to declare jihad again I feel it should totally be declared by Eva and it should be sponsored by Goya or 7-Up and the letter “E.” Today’s jihad declaration is brought to you by Goya and the letter E! It’s about time jihad got sponsored. 13
Alexandra Paressant & Tony Parker, Skanks
“We had room service. He said that Eva sexually speaking does not want to do certain things. She do not want to make love in front of a mirror, does not like certain position and thinks that sperm gives acne.”
Later when Alexandra was asked about Tony’s marriage to Eva, she said that Tony said,
“Everybody has to get married at some point for he still has time to enjoy life.”
Here are my thoughts. If this is true, they’re both skanks. If this isn’t true, she’s a skank and a whore (yes there’s a difference) and has disgraced her family’s name. Regardless I think that Eva should come and meet me. What, just sayin’.
As a side note, this chick was on America’s Next Top Model, German Edition, which…wait, it’s actually called “Germany’s Next Top Model.” Also, if this is the same random chick I’m thinking of, she used to go out with Ronaldinho, the Brazilian footballer dude, and he ended up suing her as she spread rumors about him partying with her and never going to practice, etc. I smell a whore….and that whore smells good.
17
…In Other News…
The Emmy Awards were on and people won stuff. In other news….
~ LindsayNo Pants Likes “The Sex” ~ DirtyDisher
~ Christina Aguilera on Piano ~ CelebritySmack
~ Ellen Pompeo Squints During the Emmy’s ~ DListed
~ The Emmy’s Get Censored ~ EvilBeet
~ The Emmy Recap ~ PopBytes
~ Jodie Marsh and Her Happy Yet Violent Sex Life ~ AgentBedHead
~ Pam Anderson is Kind of a Prostitute ~ FatBack
~ More J Glow is Pregnant Rumors ~ Ninjadude
~ Ryan Pillippe Wanted to Play “Dirt Nap” ~ POTP
~ Heidi Montard Turns 21, Has Been Drinking on Camera Since 17 ~ AllieIsWired
