I bet you’ll never guess where Dolly Parton is speaking while this photo was taken. If you I gave you 300 guess and would award you $1 million you still wouldn’t guess. It couldn’t be more random. Dolly and her rack-attack was at the National Press Club Luncheon where she was speaking about her duties as “Ambassador for the Great Smoky Mountain National Park.” Seriously, what? Show us you rack, sing Islands in the Steam, and call it day.
P.S –> Please give Anna Nicole her nails back. Dig up her grave and toss them in.
Today must be audio/video clip day at IBBB. Dolly Parton may seem like she’s all smiles and boobs and, well, you’d be correct. But did you know that deep down Dolly is a sex crazed racist? Well, according to the Howard Stern show she is! So this is some funny funny crap. Dolly’s new book is also available via audio and the masterminds over at Stern cut and sliced and diced and fried and sauteed Dolly’s actual words and transformed them into a sexy racist rant. Honestly, you feel horrible laughing, but just thinking of Dolly saying these things is kinda funny and since I’m clearly going to hell for a variety of reasons already I felt it was ok to laugh.
Dolly, on the other hand, does not find this funny at all. Boring. According to Billboard.com, Dolly stated: “I have never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated in all my life,” Parton says in a statement. “I cannot believe what Howard Stern has done to me. In a blue million years, I would never have such vulgar things come out of my mouth. They have done editing or some sort of trickery to make this horrible, horrible thing. Please accept my apology for them and certainly know I had nothing to do with this.”"If there was ever going to be a lawsuit, it’s going to be over this,” she continued. “Just wanted you to know that I am completely devastated by this.”
Devastated?! You just totally reinvented yourself and appealed to a much younger generation and you didn’t have to up your boob size again. I’d declare this a victory. Yeeeeee haw, God Damn!
Oh, and unless you want to get fired at work don’t listen to this with the volume way up.
Dolly is relentless about talking about her crazy rack-attack. Dolly (which is a name that apparently exists) has been forced by her knock-knock-knockers to postpone her US Tour for 6 to 8 weeks because of back problems that Dolly figures is due to the two pumpkins attached to her chest. 6 to 8 weeks? I say she’s going in to get them even bigger. I hear she won’t stop the surgery until the majority of viewers think that she’s stuffed Dakota Fanning down her shirt. Just a theory.
Dolly has said, “I know I have been breaking my neck and bending over backwards trying to get my new Backwoods Barbie CD and world tour together, but I didn’t mean to hurt myself doing it! But hey, you try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don’t have back problems.”
You know what, Dolly? No one likes a showoff. And I have tried wagging puppies around. My arms get tired. Stop stop rubbing it my face….sort of. Ok you can do it a little, but we’ll need a safe word in case I stop breathing.
Oh well get better soon, Dolly. Good luck finding someone else to sing “Islands in the Stream” live on stage, Parton fans!