Teefs Pats Is Apparently Still Filming The Hills

Join Me on Facebook! I typically can’t watch Dancing With Them There Stars because it, literally, makes me want to force myself to try back-flips for the first time on the edge of the roof of my apartment building all whilst pigeons do Shasta McNasty on me and little girls repeatedly try to kick me [...]

Dancing With the Stars Recap: So When Can We Start Up “Audrina and Grandpa Situation are Dating” Rumors?

Join Me on Facebook and See My Ballroom! Time for another crapisode of Dancing With the Stars.  The day when Audrina and Grandpa Situation get the boot is the day I put a fork in this recap.  Until then, here’s what went down last night on the 23 hours of DWTS: Brooke Burke has what [...]

Dancing With the Stars Recap: Teef, Abs, New Faces, Golden Wings. Yup.

Join Me on Facebook! Well, well, and well. Gather around girls and boys because I want to talk to you all for a minute. Are you listening? If you two don’t stop fighting I swear I’ll separate you and you’ll go live with your mother in her crack-den. Ok, now that we’re all on the [...]

DWTS Bruno Toniolo Says Kate Gosselin is “Crap.” In Related News, Crap is Pisssssed Right Now.

I’m not going to lie, I have no idea what the F Bruno on Dancing With the Stars is ever saying.  It’s so fast and so loud that my Tivo overheats and then shuts down.  However, I can read things that he’s said and while even that typically doesn’t make sense to me, at least [...]

Did Pamela Anderson Just “Do Sex” on Dancing With the Stars?

Thank God for searching for clips of Dancing With the Stars online because if I had to sit through an entire episode just to see Brenda Walsh dancing like a bitch and then sassing the judges and Pamela Anderson gang-banging the dance floor I’d open up my window and jump…and then land on the 10 [...]

I'm Not Watching "Dancing With the Stars" Until This is the Exact Lineup. Exact.

Everyone seems to lose their stinky-bottoms over Dancing With the Stars.  Not me.  Partially because I’m dead inside and partially because I typically couldn’t give a crap over their cast.  So I prayed on it a lot.  A LOT.  Jesus spoke to me, you guys.  And do you know what He said?  He said, “Stop [...]

Dancing With the Stars Season 6

Dancing With the Stars Season 6 will kick off on March 24th and I couldn’t care less. I don’t typically understand dancing shows as the arm and foot movements confuse me. Therefore I stick to award winning reality shows like The Hills, Big Brother, and Paradise Hotel. These are simple to watch. Anyway, since I [...]

…In Other News…

Heather Mills brings some back up legs to dance rehearsal for Dancing With the Stars. I don’t think that’s fair. When the other contestants are tired they don’t get to put on new legs. I call foul! As a side note, I think she should tattoo one of the back up legs to make it [...]

Heather Mills: Wooden Cameltoe?

It seems like just yesterday I was talking about a “first for cameltoe” when Nelly Furtado introduced the “denim cameltoe.” However, now it seems like the cameltoe continues to break new ground. Heather Mills, from Dancing With the Stars, is introducing “wooden cameltoe.” This really brings the cameltoe to a whole new level since the [...]

Dancing With the Stars. I Can’t.

I’m sorry I tried. After a ton of emails from IBBB readers hoping that I would recap each weeks episode of Dancing With the Stars with the same brilliance as my “The Hills” recap (their words not mine) I tried to watch it. I did. I tried. I committed to 13 minutes to see what [...]