More Mindless Stories on ‘dakota fanning’
Jun
09
09
Dear Bindi Irwin, Take a Note
I know I’ve shit on you a bunch of times, Bindi Irwin. I’ve called you a little bitch, a know-it-all, and a slut. I was wrong. You’re a big bitch. Regardless, I’m just looking out for your best interest. So, let’s learn a little something from Dakota Fanning. She’s probably your idol, right? You look up to her? Sure. Well, Dakota Fanning was at the “Celebration For Children’s Rights” the other night and showing off her new smile…that looks rotten. Seriously, take a tooth brush to those khaki chompers.
So, Bindi, I’m not sure if you have toothpaste over there in the “bush” but ask your bowl-cut-mullet-cameltoe-cargo-pants-wearing mother if you should be brushing your teeth twice a day. I’m sure she’ll say “no” but that’s Australia. They have different rules. Here in America you brush twice a day so your teeth don’t turn yellow like Dakota’s. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, you little douche-bag. Now say “thank you.”
P.S I’m talking to you too, Miley Cyrus.
Dec
05
05
Dakota Fanning: The Town Whore
Posted by IBBB
dakota fanning 
I told you. I told you it would come to this. It was only a matter of time. Move your freckles to the left Lindsay. Slide your gentlemen greeter to the right, Britney. There’s a new whore in town and her name is Dakota Fanning. Dressed as a traditional street walker, Dakota was on location filming her new movie, “Push.” Way to smut it up, Dakota. Actually, I know it’s for a movie and I don’t care, but I am waiting and waiting for Dakota to take a turn for the worse (or go south) so I can finally call her by her future nickname, “South Dakota.” I like to call that my Bazooka Joe joke. I will blog and blog until one day I can call her South Dakota and then I will stop blogging.
Anyway, Dakota who is 13-years old was just named one of the top earning celebrities under 25 years old, named by Forbes. At just 13, Dakota brought in $4 million. Well, $3 million and another $1 million from the tooth fairy. By 16 yrs old, Dakota will officially make more money than I will ever see in my lifetime. Although we’ll see who laughs last, South Dakota, we’ll see.
Dakota Fanning: The Town Whore
