More Mindless Stories on ‘clay aiken’
05
Clay Aiken Heading to America’s Next Top Model
According to the crack-whores at Us Weekly, America’s Next Top Model is about to get a whole lot sassier. Clay Aiken is scheduled to appear in the new season in an April 8th episode where he’ll be working with the models in an acting challenge.
Um, I don’t want to judge, but, uh, for about 20-something years Clay was trying to “act” as a straight man and, well, we see how that turned out. Not. So. Convincing. It’s kinda like having Nikki Blonsky giving “healthy eating tips” to the girls. Ok all done.
24
Clay Aiken is the Gay
Clay Aiken took to People Magazine to let people know that he is, in fact, gay. Well you could have knocked me over with a feather boa. In other news, water is wet and bullets hurt.
30
This is Just a Simple Mistake, Really
While many sources are claiming that Clay Aiken is going to be the father of his producers, Jaymes Foster, baby there are some that are saying this story is completely false. I’m sure this is just a simple mistake and that facts were just accidentally mixed up. Perhaps Cynthia Nixon’s lesbian life partner is the one who’s knocked up and they just assume she was standing with Clay Aiken. Eh, they’re both butch bitches. It’s a common error.
24
Weeeeeeeeee! QVC!
Ba da ba ba ba I’m lovin’ it! What’s black and white and red all over? A Clay Aiken hugging a Tyra Banks, but of course! As a sidenote, the answer to that joke could also be “A freckled Lindsay Lohan dry-humping a skunk.” Just in case you were wondering. Anyway, Clay Aiken and Tyra Banks were embracing each other for a impromptu photoshoot. Clearly, Clay has found his lobster. Clay Aiken is going to be pushing the crap out of his new CD on QVC this coming Monday. What a treat. His CD is titled, “On My Way Here,” but he might as well just title his CD with what he’s really going after, “I’m Selling Directly to My Middle America White Trash Trailer Park Fans By Going on QVC Where They Can Also Purchase Rain Coats for Their Cats.” Sure it’s a little long, but I’m sure they can wrap that title around the front and back of the CD.
Clay has said, “Starting my career on national, live television, it seems fitting to be unveiling my new album live on QVC.” Hopefully when he gets there they can perm his hair or something. I want him looking like Little Orphan Annie while he’s selling.
No joke when I first saw this picture I was thinking, “I didn’t know that Tyra Banks was that close of friends with that red headed chick from Sex and the City.” Then I took a closer look. Then I poured bleach in my eyes.
Thanks, Kasey, for the heads up.
09
Clay Aiken + Airplane = Bitch Fight
While Clay began to perform at his concert in Tulsa he told the audience that he was beaten up by a girl earlier in the day. True story. I’m sure the audience was not the least bit phased. No word if the woman will be charged with a hate crime.
