Celine Dion’s Thoughts on Britney Spears

Posted by IBBB

Yeah so Celine is clearly a whole steaming pile of crazy, which is great. With everyone checking into rehab it’s great to have a celebrity on the front lines of “crazy” and can still be all 6’s and 7’s even though they’re sober. Celine was interviewed by Access Hollywood about her new album, which I assume is titled “The Titanic Soundtrack.” However, that crazy little minx, Nancy O’Dell threw a monkey wrench at Celine when she specifically asked her this question and I mean specifically she asked, “If you could have her [Britney] ear right now and shed a little advice what would you say to her.” To which Celine responded:

“I would definitely would love to, you know, open my heart, give her my ear, my arms, my comfort zone. For sure. I wish for her to be as fortunate to have people in her surrounding to help her to achieve what how she sees herself and what she wants to do. She’ll be ok. She’ll be ok.”

Wait, what? Please note I did not mistype or misspell. That is word for word what Celine said. Celine, kiddo, did you arrive to America on a boat? Does she smell burnt toast? Is she having a stroke? What in the hell are you talking about? What does that even mean? Nancy O’Dell asked you what you would say to Britney. If that’s what you would say to Britney I think Britney would think you were high on something and then would try to buy drugs off you. Just kidding, she wouldn’t try to buy drugs off you. She’d mug you for those drugs and then stuff them in her son’s pocket and then make him walk home. Then she would crash her own car and flash her “gentlemen greeter” while exiting her vehicle. She’d toss out a few “y’alls” to the paparazzi and then she’d go home and use those drugs…assuming her son, “What’s His Face” made it home.

I love that Celine has a new album out, but only because it means we’ll be hearing more unintelligible things like that!

Source: Me Watching TV

Celine Dion’s Thoughts on Britney Spears

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Mar
05

Mariah & Celine Named Worst Singers EVER

Posted by IBBB

awards, celine dion, mariah carey, ozzy osbourne

With the Grammy’s behind us it’s good to see that awards are still being given out in the music industry. British music “Q” decided to poll its readers to see who would be named the “worst singers ever.” And the awards go to…..

Mariah Carey
Celine Dion
Ozzy Osbourne

So what did the panel have to say about these three? In regards to Mariah Carey, “She may have a 100-octave range and the ability to sing so loudly that birds’ nests fall from trees, but that doesn’t make it right.”

For Celine Dion, “She grinds out every note as if bearing some grudge against the very notion of economy.”

Finally, in summing up Ozzy Osbourne, “He now sings like he speaks – this may be cause for sympathy, but not for buying his albums.”

Seriously, I’ve never heard of this magazine before, as reading anything British typically makes me nauseous, but this is BRILLIANT. No joke. How do I work for this magazine? I’m not a fan really of any of the above winners, but Mariah and Celine are at least good singers. I mean, they’re no where near as good as me singing in the shower, but then again who is really? I don’t think that we can fault their voices though. Let’s keep it clean and strictly attack Mariah’s acting skills and the way that every inch of her falls out of her clothes. And, let’s stick to just faulting Celine for her awkward jokes, horrific accent, and “ugly singing faces.” Ok, so Ozzy is done, but at least the drugs make him funny.

Who Created This Wonderful Award!?!

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