More Mindless Stories on ‘celebrity camel toe’
21
Jessica Simpson Cameltoe and Ghost Boobs: An Award Winning Combination!
You can always count on Jessica Simpson for two things: Tight pants and a glimpse of the rack. Well Jessie Simps didn’t disappoint when she attended the premiere of “Extraordinary Measures” at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in sunny Los Angeles the other day. Wearing all black from head to toe, Jessica Simpson may in fact be our first combination camel toe and ghost boobs of 2010. What an honor!
You know what this means! It’s time to play “ImBringingBloggingBack Cameltoe Rating System….to the Stars!” What a real treat this is. As you know the rules, I can award up to 5 camels. This time I am awarding Jessica Simpson 2 out of 5 camels, but I’m tossing in 3 ghosts for the ghost boobs and, well, that’s just math I’m not able to do. However, I do know this is an honor for Jessica and I await to be contacted by her to accept her award.
In other Jessica Simpson non cameltoe news, you can catch her in the new VH1 reality series, “The Price of Beauty” in which she travels the globe with her friends CaCee Cobb and hair stylist Ken Paves meeting every day women and studying their views and practices of what real beauty means to them. Check it out on March 15th at 10pm on VH1. Or don’t. I won’t lose sleep over your decision.
04
Jennifer Lopez New Years Eve Camel Toe. Wait. Is That What “Auld Lang Syne” Translates To?
I mean, ringing in the New Year any other way then with Jennifer Lopez’s camel toe is, well, just plain wrong, pointless, and illegal in the city that I’m the mayor of. Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx was kind enough to play the role of the New York terrorist and “sing” some hits on New Years Eve in Times Square to a crowd who is already suffering enough in the cold and without a bathroom. While I typically joke about this, she actually did perform “Waiting for Tonight” and ”Let’s Get Loud“ and even her new song “Louboutins” which I believe is Spanish for, “I’m so lucky that Spanish singers were big in 1998 and that I was a Fly Girl on In Living Color or you probably wouldn’t have heard of me today.”
J Glow crawled around the stage in a bedazzled cat burglar onesie and danced her ass (almost) off and then when finished yelled to the crowd, “You didn’t think I could do that in the rain, did you?” Personally I’m more surprised the rain didn’t make the record skip. Either way, you know what this outfit means….
So, boys and girls, this means it’s time to play the first official cameltoe game of 2010, ““ImBringingBloggingBack Cameltoe Rating System….to the Stars!” What a real treat this is. As you know the rules, I can award up to 5 camels. This time I am awarding Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx….wait for it….drum-roll….wait for it…..5 out of 5 camels! Applause, applause, applause. Whilst a celebrity is hardly ever awarded 5 out of 5, I felt Saint Jennifer did deserve this as she is 40 and somehow has mastered a little camel toe in the front and in the back all whilst dancing and “singing” in the rain. Bravo, J Lo. Here’s to more “toe” in ‘10.
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20
Mariah Carey Turns On the Christmas Lights and Turns Up the Cameltoe
Mariah Carey was in jolly ole’ England yesterday at the Westfield Shopping Center in London to give a little “pip-pip” and turn on their Christmas lights for them. Touching. More importantly, Mariah was turning up her Christmas cameltoe, perhaps a first for the cameltoe society. Seeing these photos reminded me that we haven’t played the “ImBringingBloggingBack Cameltoe Rating System….to the Stars!” in a while. So, here go!
As you know the rules, I can award up to 5 camels. This time around, IBBB has awared Mariah with 3 out of 5 camels, paritally because we’re in a recession and I’m feeling generous and partly because it appears that her cameltoe may actually be busting her zipper and, well, that deserves a game all of its own. Check out some of the additional Mariah photos below and see if you can spot a little ghost boobs action!
16
Oh Kim, I Love Playing This Game With You!
Sometime I think God is smiling down just at me. It’s been a long time since we got the play the “ImBringingBloggingBack Cameltoe Rating System….to the Stars!” but Kim Kardashian makes sure that we never forget to play. She’s good like that. I mean, if it’s not her dumper it’s her thumper. You know what I mean? I don’t.
As you know the rules, I can award up to 5 camels. This time, Kim only receives 2 camels, BUT(t) is being awarded 2 ghosts for her “ghost boobs” thanks to some tricky camera flashes. 2 camels and 2 ghosts? I can’t even begin to do that kind of math. Regardless, Kim should be honored.
Kim was snatched up by the paparazzi as she was leaving The Grove the other night. Can she not actually feel the cameltoe tap-tap-tapping at her front door? I mean, I can feel when I have food caught in my front tooth. I’m assuming it’s like the same thing, no?
19
Well Here’s a Sentence I Never Thought I’d Say…
IBBB is proud (??) to present a little sampling of Julie Andrews Cameltoe: Elderly Edition! This may be a first for IBBB and is pretty much guaranteed hell-time. I won’t discriminate with age so let’s play your favorite game….“ImBringingBloggingBack Cameltoe Rating System…to the Stars!” By now you know the way it works. You are allowed to be awarded up to 5 camels. Drumroll please….
Julie Andrews has been awarded a record breaking 5 out of 5 camels! What an honor. Julie Andrews is a legend and should be treated like one. 5 camels shows Julie the respect that she has come to deserve.
Since this “award show” has started over 2 years ago, the only people to ever receive 5 full camels are: Fergie, Christina Aguilera, and Beyonce. Clearly, these women are all in good camel company.
Congratulations, Julie, you can now have confidence in sunshine.
05
Beyonce’s Electoral Cameltoe!
Wow. Due to hard economic times, we haven’t been able to play the “ImBringingBloggingBack Cameltoe Rating System….to the Stars!” Well, thanks to Beyonce and the bailout, we now can. As you know, IBBB rates the level of cameltoeocity and will award up to 5 camels. Ooooo! Ohhhhh! Ahhhhhh! I know.
Thanks to this being a historic election and Beyonce pouring herself into the jeans, for the first time in a long long time (perhaps ever…I’m too lazy to go back and check) I am awarding Beyonce 5 camels out of 5 camels. Congratulations Beyonce! This must be quite the honor.
Beyonce, Jay Z, Mary J Blige, and an array of others were doing their part to get people to vote the other day….even if it took Beyonce speaking out of her camel. It was allllll worth it!
12
Sharon Stone and the Case of the Pin-Striped Cameltoe
Sharon Stone was flashing her trademark peace sign while leaving the Ed Hardy store in Culver City yesterday. She was also flashing her trademark cameltoe to the paparazzi, which I feel should be the new peace sign. It’s time to play everyones favorite game, “The ImBringingBloggingBack Cameltoe Rating System….to the Stars!” Ok, so as you know I award up to 5 camels to a celebrity rocking the cameltoe. This time around I’m only giving Sharon one camel out of a possible five because with those pinstriped pants it’s really hard to tell if that is 100% camel or are the stripes making her gentlemen greeter into some type of optical illusion. That tricky Sharon! I think Sharon should be pleased with one camel or any award for that matter.
21
Jessica Simpson Kicks Off Her Country Music Career With Some Daisy Duke Denim Cameltoe
Yee Haw! Call your Pappy and your Mammy cuz Jessie Simpson is singing country and not giving up those daisy dukes no matter how many years have passed since they were cool to wear, but at least she looks good in them, y’all!
Jessica was all legs and huge mouth while she performed at the Country Thunder Concert just the other day in Wisconsin. It’s been reported that Jessica was boo’d while on stage performing and she said to the crowd this brilliant gem:
“I don’t know what your perception is of Jessica Simpson or what tabloid you buy, but I just want you to know that I’m just a girl from Texas; I’m just like you. I’m doing what I love and I’m dating a boy.”
….to which the one fan in the crowd replied, “Ok.”
As a side note, if you’ve been keeping up with “The ImBringingBloggingBack Cameltoe Rating System….to the Stars!” and I know you have, I’ve awarded Jessica with 3 camels out of a possible 4. The way she incorporated the cameltoe whilst on stage and wearing daisy dukes….well, that’s just terrific.
12
Hilary Duff Banned from Cameltoe Game
BREAKING NEWS: Hilary Duff has been officially banned from the ImBringingBloggingBack Cameltoe Rating System…..to the Stars, game. When asked why the shocking ban, IBBB responded:
19
Carrie Underwood: Backwards Cameltoe?
That Carrie Underpants is one tricky country western singer/sasser. Carrie was at the 43rd Annual Academy of Country Music Awards and was singing up a storm when I believe the Ghost of Cameltoe attacked her and hit her in the backside instead of the frontside, where the cameltoe belongs. Carrie looks visibly concerned and, frankly, so am I. There for I am giving this backwards cameltoe just one upside down camel in the “IBBB Cameltoe Ranking Systems…to the Stars” game. Carrie gave it a good try, but came up just a little short. 12
Halle Berry: Cameltoe in Training
Halle Berry was at the Revlon Walk/Run for Women in LA over the weekend doing good deeds, but that is all shadowed by these shots of Halle sporting a little pre-camel celebrity cameltoe. She is so close, yet so far away but I know that Halle is a strong woman and can do anything she puts her mind to. I mean, she won the Oscar so she can most certainly train a little bit harder to really show outstanding cameltoe action. We can barely play my favorite IBBB game, “ImBringingBloggingBack Celebrity Cameltoe Rating System…to the Stars!” but I will still award Halle 1 camel out of a possible 5 because she’s showing promise and determination and she’s sending out a great message that all women can experience the cameltoe no matter what your age, race, or economic situation. Hats off to Halle! 08
Camel Toads: The New Drug Craze
No joke, I get more emails from people about Cameltoe then I can shake a stick at and, trust me, I’ve been shaking my stick at cameltoes since I’ve been about 13. I sorta don’t know what that means. I mean, it goes towards some kind of sexual innuendo, but then takes a left turn to “Nowheresville, USA.”
23
Kim Kardashian Cameltoe Palooza!
Good morning boys, girls, and skanks! What a treat I have for you all today. Now pull up your nap mats and take a look at some fresh Kim Kardashian cameltoe while you eat your Cheerios! Where does one even being with this photo? Well, first Kim is walking around cloudy LA without any makeup on. She should never do this as she is rich and should always look like she’s ready to go to the prom. It’s like Kim leaving the house without any money. It wouldn’t happen. It shouldn’t happen. Next up, check out the dude on the left that’s clearly checking out the famous “Kardashian assian.” Brilliant. Finally, we take a quick look south of the Kardashian border (and just to the left of her Churros y Chocolate station) and we notice that she’s sporting some reality cameltoe. Good for her. Therefore it’s time to play everyones favorite game, “The ImBringingBloggingBack Cameltoe Rating System….to the Stars!” This is when IBBB rates the celebrity cameltoe and awards the celebrity with a certain number of camels out of a possible 5 camel rating. This time around Kim has been awarded 4 out of 5 camels! What an honor. I would have given her the 5th camel if there was a second picture of Kim picking out her cameltoe. Oh well, 4 camels is still a major accomplishment in the life of Kim Kardashian and probably the best, and only, award she’s received to date. Congratulations Kim! Carry on. 25
When Old Lady Cameltoe Attacks
You’re sitting at the Knicks game minding your own business when all of a sudden out of nowhere elderly cameltoe rises up and begins to attack the crowd. This doesn’t just happen in the movies, it happens in real life too. Kim Cattrall and some dude starring directly at her boobs, which surprisingly aren’t around her knees, are really enjoying the game. So much so, in fact, that Kim jumps up, slightly bends, pushes out her cameltoe, raises her arms, and gives a smile to the crowd. Either this is a sign of Kim having a stroke or it’s time to play everyones favorite ImBringingBloggingBack game, “The ImBringingBloggingBack Cameltoe Rating System….to the Stars!”.
14
This Time Last Year: Oprah’s School
Happy Friday and welcome back to everyones favorite lazy segment called “This Time Last Year.” This Time Last Year will take a brief look at what was going on in the celebrity world…this time last year (go figure). Oh, and also I’m lazy so this is pretty easy to do on a Friday. Here’s what was going on with Oprah, her school, her cameltoe and IBBB this time last year…
As Oprah opened the school to a packed audience teachers and students chanted, “Long Live Oprah, long live!” No joke, they actually said that. The skies then opened and God raised up Oprah, pushed aside Jesus and allowed Oprah to sit “at the right hand of the Father.” God then hi-fived Oprah and she taught God how to “z-snap” just like Tyra Banks. Heaven must be a real hoot. I’ll fill you in on what hell is like…eventually.
Seriously, as much as I want to joke, this really is a great thing that Oprah has done. She’s a great example of what someone with money can do and not be afraid to do. She literally is making a difference in so many peoples lives. I mean, not mine, but whatever. However, just because Oprah is doing these “good deeds” does NOT mean that she can escape my “IBBB Cameltoe Rating System….to the Stars!”
Nice try Oprah, but you’ve been captured with “the camel” all the way over in South Africa. Seriously, this must be the richest cameltoe alive. Am I a bit jealous? Sure. I give this 3 out of 5 camels. Oprah really made this one her own.
As a side note, is it ironic that in the picture of Oprah with her hands up consists of dark black storm clouds over the children, yet bright and sunny skies directly over Oprah? I don’t think so. I told you she has some type of deal with God!
As a second side note, a friend was text messaging me while I was writing up this story and when this friend asked me what I was doing I replied, “just adding camels to Oprah’s cameltoe.” Seriously, who says that? Nobody. I guarantee that sentence has never been said before. Ever.
