More Mindless Stories on ‘bum’
Jan
03
03
2 Questions for Jennifer Aniston’s Ass
I have 2 questions for Jennifer Aniston’s ass. (1) Are the “Friends” really friends? (2) Will there be a Friends reunion? I think those are two great questions to ask anyones ass, let alone Jennifer Aniston’s. Jenny Jen (as I call her with her knowing it) was vacationing in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico for the new year, also known as 2008. There are many rumors flying about Jenny Jen being “with child” but her stomach doesn’t look like it has a human being stuffed inside of it. Sure she could be like 2 weeks pregnant, but I’m going to say that this rumor is false. I say this as an expert guessing if cast members of Friends are pregnant. So far I’ve been correct 7 out of 8 times (you do the math).
Moving on, Jenny Jen rung/rang in the new year with some dude who was in Sex in the City (which I refuse to ever watch) and Courtney Cox and Courtney’s financially grateful husband, David Arquette. I’m sure Courtney and David are hoping Jennifer Aniston is pregnant so that she stops celebrating every holiday on the calendar with them. I say, if she’s pregnant where are the receipts?
In conclusion, I’m sure that Jen Aniston’s boobs are a little jealous that her ass is now getting all the photo love. I miss them.
May
22
22
Eva Longoria’s Ass Says, "Hey"
Eva Longoria was doing anything it took to raise money at this weekends “Spike for Hope” charity volleyball tournament….even showing people where they can deposit their donations. I think that is a brilliant idea on her part. I mean if she just put out her hand I’d probably donate like $25.00, but with her ass in the air, I’d probably give a little more. What? I meant a “donation.”
In other non-ass-related Eva Longoria news, it’s been reported that once married, Eva and Tony Parker plan on going the Angelina Jolie route and adopting a kid. Eva recently told “Latina Magazina” that “…we both have big hearts and the finances to do it and we want to be able to provide and environment of love and stability to a child who otherwise wouldn’t have that.”
Ok 2 things. (1) Thanks for rubbing it in….not about having the finances, I just mean having the “heart” and (B) I would consider being adopted if you’re interested in adopting me. I’m a great candidate. I have a job, I can almost tie my shoes, and I’ve cut down wetting my bed to 2 times a week. Technically, I’m a steal.
