Seriously, Tara Reid is a genius. Tara was at the opening of “The Basement” in Australia and I won’t say that she has an eating disorder of any kind, but I will say that bulimia is the new rehab and the old “knocked up un-wed celebrity mother.” Tara Reid is brilliant because she’s apparently taken the opportunity to steal some of Lindsay Lohan’s boring thunder while she is all “clean and sober” and pays homage to all the girls of 2005/2006 that suffered from Lollipop Head Syndrome (LHS). Ahhhh 2005/2006 was such an innocent time when celebrities were only starving themselves and shoving Crest toothbrushes halfway down their throat. They were simpler times really. And, clearly, Tara Reid is trying to bring back 2005/2006 with all of the trucker hats that I guess people are still wearing in Australia?

I only have one thing to say to Tara Reid and her recent weight loss. “Want a Viper? Ya want some money? Like my boooooody? TrimSpa baby!” And we know how that shitshow turned out.

Kelly Clarkson, famed actress of award winning movie “From Justin to Kelly” and winner of American Idol Season 1, is the latest celebrity to admit to having an eating disorder back in the day. It appears that Kelly was bulimic for a short period of time, although I think the official medical term is “EatAndPukeitis.” Apparently when Kelly was in high-school she didn’t get the big role in her high-school musical and told CosmoGirl Magazine, “I thought…If I came back and I’m cuter and thinner…then I’ll get the role. One of my guy friends caught on to it, and I just felt so ashamed and embarrassed. I literally went cold turkey and snapped out of it.”

Really? Cold turkey? Are you sure you just didn’t have the stomach flu that day and now you’re using that story to help sell your failing album? I’m just assuming. Since Kelly’s album isn’t doing as well as everyone would like, expect to see Kelly thinner than ever in the coming months, perhaps due to her “cold turkey” diet.

If it wasn’t the 1970’s Maureen McCormick, Marsha Brady, would have shaved off her hair and used an umbrella as a weapon too, but it was the 1970’s so she settled for a good old fashion eating disorder and cocaine habit.

Maureen McCormick admits to People Magazine that she used to snort coke and she even suffered from bulimia. As the old saying goes, “what comes first the drugs or the bulimia?” Well, in Marsha’s case her bulimia came first once she turned 17 and had to go back to public high-school. It was her boyfriend (not Dougie Goodwin) who introduced her to cocaine. He was like, Marsha I want you to meet someone. This is cocaine. Cocaine, this is Marsha. The two quickly became friends and Marsha couldn’t get enough of her new friend.

Maureen then realized that she had an addictive personality and after several relapses she claims that she has cleaned herself up through a combination of therapy and her faith.

Somewhere right now, probably in a dumpster, Jan Brady is smiling.

Who Said That!?!