More Mindless Stories on ‘brooke hogan’
11
Dear Brooke Hogan, Just a Reminder that You are Brooke Hogan
Ah what an absolute delight Brooke Hogan is. The show that I work on was kindly invited to Harrah’s in Atlantic City for the weekend for Brooke Hogan’s 21st birthday. I thought Brooke turned 21 15 years ago, but apparently not. The people of Harrah’s hooked us up big time, which was great but Brooke and/or her people decided not to speak to us at all. In fact she wouldn’t speak with anyone. In fact, even though she she was in the VIP section directly next to ours she wouldn’t even look at us. In fact, she looked away when I left our VIP section and stood in front of her VIP section and just waved…and waved….and waved. She would glance up and then look back down. I kept waving, similar to the way those mechanical mannequins wave during the Christmas season. I put my drink and phone down at one point so that I could strictly focus on the waving process. Brooke was too busy texting on her phone for the full two hours and stuffing her fat ass with chicken caesar salad.
In the end Brooke was basically paid a shit-ton of money to take a couple of pictures by herself, sit in her own VIP room and not talk to anyone or look at anyone for 2 hours. Clearly, she is deserving of this money and will in no way be burning in hell for being worthless garbage. On a positive note, Brooke actually looked surprisingly smaller in person. However even though she looked smaller we all still new she was hiding a set of testicles in her dress. I’m sure she untaped them from her leg once she got back to her suite.
Happy 21st, Brooke! Please remember, though, that you are indeed Brooke Hogan and that is punishment enough.
20
Brooke Hogan: Thinker
You can almost see the thought bubble coming out of Brooke Hogan’s head of her trying to figure out how she’s going to dance on the pole that she’s holding. She’s a wicked smart thinker like that.
Good old Brooke, in her “neeeeeeeew Allante!” dress, attended the All Star Birthday Bash and Record Release Party for Stack at SOBE Live over the weekend. I never really thought you could look more white-trash than Pam Anderson, but Brooke seemed to find a way. A wise man once said, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” I bet Brooke listened to that guy and then implemented his instructions. I bet she did. I. Bet. She. Did. Can you tell I have absolutely nothing interesting to say about Brooke Hogan? Yup. Good bye. Call me later.
02
When Does Brooke Hogan Expire?
Ugh. She’s the worst. Brooke Hogan hammed it up like the pig she is while at the Bejeweled Swimwear Runway Show in South Beach. Bejeweled? I’m sure Brooke Hogan was thinking she was going to a Bedazzler show.
www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack
26
Brooke Hogan Split Her Pants
Financial times must be tight for singer (??) Brooke Hogan as she could only afford certain portions of her pants. Luckily for us, the “ass” and “crotchal” regions we too expensive for Brooke to buy, so she is flashing both sides for her fan(s). Either that or her fat ass busted the seams. It’s a tough call, a real tough call. You know, I feel like Brooke is really on the right track though because my motto is when your career isn’t going where you want it go, simply go straight to skank. Not enough album sales? Go to skank. Didn’t get that promotion you went for? Go to skank. Just lost the Oscar? Go to skank. Drinking a bit too much? Definitely go to skank. You’re the daughter of an overly orange Hulk Hogan? Go to skank.
