More Mindless Stories on ‘britney spears’
Nov
07
07
This Time Last Year: Britney Had the #2 Album in the Country
Happy Friday and welcome back to everyones favorite lazy segment called “This Time Last Year.” This Time Last Year will take a brief look at what was going on in the celebrity world…this time last year (go figure). Oh, and also I’m lazy so this is pretty easy to do on a Friday. Here’s what was going on with Britney and her music career…this time last year…
Dear Little Girls of the World,
Hey there. How are ya doing? Yeah? You doing ok in school? Yeah, sometimes math can be a little tricky. Don’t let those boys push you around during gym class either. Ok, come around here little girls of the world. IBBB has a little story for you.
Once upon a time there was a young girl named Britney Spears. She made it big on this show called “The Mickey Mouse Club.” Years later the music industry went crazy and all of a sudden brainwashed the world and people felt that Britney was an entertainer and could sing. Britney made a gazillion dollars and a few years later she went nuts. She would party like it was her job and show her vagina to anyone and everyone that would look at it. She had a couple of kids and got married. Technically this was her second marriage. Anyway, Britney then got divorced, drank more, partied more, shaved her head, became a whore, lost custody of her kids, smashed a few cars, and showed her vagina dozens and dozens and dozens of times. It really was a magical time. And all of this was at the ripe old age of 25.
Well. little girls of the world, while we don’t know yet how this story will end for Britney there is a major lesson for you to learn. A major lesson! And that lesson is if you drink a lot, dabble in drugs, and show your vagina a ton you too can have the #2 album in America. So put down those math books. Turn off your computers. Burn your science books. Just pick up the bottle of vodka and lose the underpants. As you’re getting off your school bus be sure to flash a little of your “gentlemen greeter” and you are well on your way to living The American Dream. Remember, life has no consequences. Now go run with these here scissors. Be good.
The End!
www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack
Nov
03
03
Britney’s Circus Cover Has Photoshopped the Memory of Her Being Taken Out on a Stretcher from My Mind!
Posted by IBBB
britney spears 
Britney Spears looks easy and breezy on the cover of her new album “Circus” and this picture has almost completely erased from my mind the images of her attacking a defenseless SUV with her Mary Poppins umbrella. Oh the good old days…when the jokes basically wrote themselves.
Anybald, I’m glad Britney is looking good again because, to me, when you look attractive it makes you a better person and I pay more attention to you. Fatasses can take a giant step to the back of the line.
Britney also revealed on her website that her next single will in fact be “Circus” which is explained as an “up-tempo track” according to Britney. Yeah, that’s code word for “I pressed the “up-tempo” button on my Casio piano.”
www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack
Oct
17
17
This Time Last Year: Britney Goes to Church
Happy Friday and welcome back to everyones favorite lazy segment called “This Time Last Year.” This Time Last Year will take a brief look at what was going on in the celebrity world…this time last year (go figure). Oh, and also I’m lazy so this is pretty easy to do on a Friday. Here’s what was going on with Britney and the Church…this time last year…
This may be hard to believe, but Britney is in the news again. This time it’s because of her new album, which I believe is called “Baby One More Time.” Britney is dressed like a widowed streetwalker and is sitting on the lap of a “priest” in the confessional booth. The Catholic church, of course, is outraged at this as it really cuts back on the amount of time they can focus on trying to molest their alter boys and raise enough money to pay their legal bills due to the thousands of molestation cases against them. Geesh, I’d be mad too.
One spokesperson for the Catholic league has said, “She should be trying to be an entertainer without mocking a Catholic sacrament.” True. Oh, yeah, you know what else is kinda true? A spokesperson for IBBB has issued the following statement to the spokesperson of the Catholic league. “Priests should be trying to be holy-like without molesting children.” While I know that’s not a sacrament it should just go without saying.
Look, I’m not saying all priests are diddle-monsters, but probably the majority of them. While Britney is “train-wreck-hot-sex-on-a-plate,” there is nothing wrong with these pictures. I mean, maybe if her “gentlemen greeter” was showing that could be an issue, but I think the Catholics who are obsessed out there should just be pleased that photographs are out there with a girl of legal age on the lap of a priest….with key focus on “girl of legal age.” This is actually some good press for them, no?
Oct
16
16
Life Lessons by Britney Marie Spears
Posted by IBBB
britney spears 
I have no idea if her middle name is Marie, I just assume. Anybald, apparently going bat-shit crazy and hanging on the brink of total mental meltdown is all you need to get a number 1 song in the good old US of A!
As of yesterday, Britney’s new song “Womanizer” has gone from #96 to the #1 song in the country. This is the first time that Britney has gone #1 (giggity) since her first single, “Baby One More Time” back in 1999. Ah, remember good old 1999 when we all thought the world was going to explode at midnight on New Years? Ahhh Y2K. What a simpler time.
Britney even trumped Mariah Carey. Britney had 286,000 first week download sales, which is 200 more than the last record holder….Mariah Carey. You see, Mariah only went crazy enough by stripping down to her underpants and passing out popsicles on TRL back in the day. I mean, Britney really went full throttle by shaving her head and attacking a car with an umbrella. Perhaps if Mariah had passed out umbrellas instead of popsicles, Britney wouldn’t have beat her.
Oct
11
11
Britney Naked in Womanizer Video. Now With New Eyebrows!
Posted by IBBB
britney spears 
Hey remember how I made fun of Britney for the past 2 years? Yeah, well I didn’t mean it and you just misinterpreted my jokes. Britney is hot again and that changes everything. Not only am I back on the bandwagon, but I’m applying for the conductor position.Britney’s new video, Womanizer, debuted on 20/20 last night, because that makes sense, and I have to admit that while the song makes my ears twitch and then spit out blood and wax, the video is actually good….entertaining even. I mean, seeing Britney naked and greased up like a pig on a rotisserie is enough to hold my attention before falling off my chair.
Britney plays many different personalities in this video (the old me would have made an off color joke), but when she wasn’t naked in the sauna I couldn’t figure out why in the hell she looked so different to me. I pride myself on being able to identify Britney even when she isn’t shaved bald and grasping a green umbrella, but I couldn’t put my finger on it (giggity). Then it hit me with the same force that Ike hit Tina with. Britney stole the Olsen Sluts eyebrows!
Is it possible to grow out your eyebrows? If so, I’m pretty sure Britney did that. It makes her face look different, almost Neanderthal like. Eh, it works for her. You wanna know why boys and girls? Because at the end of the day Britney is thin again and that makes her a better person, a better singer, a better dancer, prettier, hotter, and a better citizen.
My favorite part of the video is when Britney pulls a “Reverse Blonsky” and kicks that dude in the crotch. It’s not normal that as soon as I see that I immediately think, “Britney totally just Reversed Blonsky’d that guy!”
What did you trash bags think of the video?
