More Mindless Stories on ‘britney spears’
Feb
18
Posted by IBBB
britney spears
Britney Spears has been drawn to life in the new ads for Candie’s. To no surprise, this is a major campaign for Kohl’s which, if Britney wasn’t famous, she would most certainly be working. Starting off “ringing” at the register and then one day she’d be cleaning out dressing rooms. What a great “what if” moment.
Brito-Paloozza was shot by three world renowned photographers: Annie Leibovitz, Mark Selinger, and Terry Richardson. I’ve only heard of one of them, so apparently I’m not worldly enough. Maybe I should be working at Kohl’s.
This Candie’s campaign takes a look at Britney through the lens of each unique photographer. However, there is one common theme: Photoshop. Seriously it looks nothing like the Brit that we’ve all come to know and love tolerate. Hopefully one day we’ll live in a world where this Britney can come to life. I have big dreams and big goals.
Jan
28
Posted by IBBB
britney spears
That’s always something I can’t seem to figure out. It’s like she looks itchy or looking at her I get itchy…something. Her boots also look like they’re soaking wet on the inside and smell like the inside of a bowling ball. Why can’t she ever seem to get it together? More importantly, why do I care? I’m going to see a therapist about this right away and by “therapist” I really mean “toilet.”
Britney Angela Mary-Jo Phylis Viola Spears was out in Calabasas, CA getting her nails done and a quick frozen beverage from Starbucks (who you know are thinking, “please just go to Dunkin Donuts” when she walks in) the other day. Britney is still going strong with her 1995 Real Housewives of Orange County fake nails and Jennifer Aniston sweater pokies. Eh, all is right with the world, I guess. Well, except in Haiti. That place is still a disaster. Oh wait, Britney’s hair looks like Haiti. Sweet, I’ll stop now.
Jan
08
Posted by IBBB
britney spears
When the top story on the news is Kate Gosselin’s new hair, I long for the days when Britney Spears was all over the place and declaring Jihad on all the Starbucks in a 15 mile radius of Los Angeles. I mean, I don’t want her knocking over a 7-11 or stealing her little sisters baby, but I wouldn’t mind a little of the old Britney back. And when I saw these latest photos of Britney Spears doing a little shopping in Beverly Hills yesterday with that pissed off look, ratty hair, and coffee stains on her ripped shirt I thought maybe, just maybe, we’ll catch a brief glimpse of umbrella girl one more time.
In other Britney Spears Not Hair news, it’s being reported that Brito has a new single that should start making it’s way onto the radio this coming March. Also rumored is that David Guetta may have produced her new single. You will remember David Guetta as the person who single-handedly saved Kelly Rowland’s career thanks to the remix of “When Loves Take Over.” If you don’t remember that then get the hell out of here before I call the cops.
Source It Up!
Dec
29
Posted by IBBB
britney spears
In a world where I thrive on breakdowns, guess who is back to dark hair again? If you guessed “Nell Carter” you’d be wrong as she is dead. If you guessed Britney Spears you would be correct. I swear to Santa Christ if there is an umbrella in the black carry-on bag I may, in fact, squeal with delight. Look, I don’t want Britney being a danger to herself or to others, but let’s face it, the comeback is over and, well, I’m ready for her to get a little rowdy again. I mean, I’ve been banking on Lohan (any Lohan) but there are only so many prayers I can say for the entire year of 2009 before I start to just give up on her.
Anyohbabybaby, Britney was spotted by the paparazzi (from what I can only assume is 3 blocks up the street, hiding in a tree, with a disposable camera) with her new dark brown/brunette hair stopping by the Mondrian Hotel in West Hollywood yesterday. Now if those boots she was wearing were those cruddy brown cowboy ones that she refused to take off for 365 days I’d be a little hopeful that we were getting our old Britney back…you know….the crazy one? Regardless I will re-write my letter to Jesus Claus and ask for few Britney crotch shots getting out of the car in 2010. Cheers!
Let’s Be Facebook Friends!
Mar
11
Posted by IBBB
britney spears
Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve made a Britney post? The answer is “Too Long.” Too long. I think this is mainly because Britney isn’t quite the mess she used to be and whilst that is “thumbs up” for her, it’s really “thumbs down” for me. I’d actually give it three thumbs down on my Tivo if I could. Whatever that means. Anyrack, Britney suited up in her IBBB blue bikini and brought “What’s His Face” and “The Other One” down to the pool on their downtime in Miami.
Britney’s body is back in shape, which I feel makes her a better person. Although her legs still freak me out a bit….kinda like the same way that female gymnasts height and legs freak me out. It’s like they could put me in a headlock with their legs and end my pathetic life in a second. Where was I? Oh yeah, did you hear that Britney was caught on tape at a recent concert saying that you could see her p*ssy hanging out of her costume? Classy. Love it. I’m over this post. Good day.
Dec
09
Posted by IBBB
britney spears
If you ever wanted to hear Britney Spears sing “live” your best bet was to be on the streets of LA whilst Britney and Ellen went Christmas caroling for a segment Ellen was taping that will air on December 16th.
To tell you the truth, watching a lesbian and someone who’s bi-polar dressed like characters from A Christmas Carol while holding a bell, a notebook, and singing, kinda sounds like the best Christmas ever. Is it just me or if we saw Britney dressed like this last April you wouldn’t have thought twice about it.
I miss crazy Britney. I miss her and no me gusta
Dec
03
Posted by IBBB
britney spears
Britney Spears and her 27 year old rack celebrated her birthday by attending a fiesta (ole!) at Tenjune in New York last night. Britney was surrounded by most people she didn’t know and was given her 15th birthday cake of the day. Giving awkward smiles with her trademark “open mouth” laugh and other
Whitney Port facial expressions, Britney was said to have had a great time.
Most importantly is my appeal to Tenjune.
Dear Tenjune,
I’ve been trying to get into your establishment for 1.5 years. I’ve eaten next door at STK countless times in hopes that someone would magically just let me sneak down the stairs and into the backdoor of Tenjune. No luck. So please send me a personal invitation and possibly even a night of free drinks. In turn, I will write about what a great time I had there. Deal? Email me.
Signed,
IBBB
P.S –> I prefer to be there on a night when an Olsen Twin is at the bar.
Dec
03
Posted by IBBB
britney spears
Sure I’m a day late and $4 dollars short, but after all the hate mail I received yesterday for not even mentioning Britney on Good Morning America, I figure I’m better late then never. Or is it “never late and better?” No idea.
Anyway, I didn’t want to post anything about Britney on GMA because after I had seen her on Britney: For the Record, I felt as though I was already going to hell. But since it’s a done deal, let’s talk about the “performance.”
Look, I’m indifferent on Britney. And by “indifferent” I of course mean “it doesn’t matter if I make sex with her in the front or back.” However, I guess like most loserish people I would like to see her do well in life. I mean, who can survive off of only $125 million?
While watching Britney on GMA, it looked like she was moving in slow motion. At one point she even looked towards her family, who were sitting in the audience, and sorta giggled a little bit….almost like, “Can you believe I’m not dead yet!”
When she was perfoming the “uppercut punches” while singing Womanizer I honestly thought that Mohammad Ali could do faster punches today. And I’m pretty sure he is wheel chair bound.
In conclusion, Britney seems distant to me. I’m sure she’s happier, but she just seems so far removed from herself, which is kind of sad because she was in the middle of a circus. Maybe next time she could flash her rack to liven herself up a bit? I’m not sure. I’m not a psychologist.
P.S –> I’ve seen “sideboob” before, but in the first picture I’m almost certain that is either “sideass” or “sidegina.”
Dec
01
Posted by IBBB
britney spears
So you can all pretend that you didn’t watch “Britney: For the Record” last night, but I know the truth. I know you did. I also know you watched it again directly after it aired the first time. I’m like Visa. I’m everywhere.
Let me just say that after the first scene of Britney’s dad making her daughter breakfast and him saying, “I’m making my baby cheese grits” I was thanking Jesus Claus that I remembered this “documentary” was on. I was sure it would be filled with “y’alls” and other white-trash paraphernalia. Moments later I found myself asking Jesus Claus for forgiveness as I immediately began feeling bad for all the mean things I wrote about Britney over the past 2.5 years. I’m pretty sure my blackened heart turned a light red after watching this.
I am, however, a little confused on what the messaging of this documentary was supposed to be. I mean, I can’t be the only one who’s confused about this. And why was Britney always looking slightly upward and to the left every time she was asked a question? Anyway, so is the messaging supposed to be that Britney has come back stronger than ever and wants to really sing and dance again? Or is the message supposed to be that Britney is basically in a depression and is “sad” because her dad controls her money, Larry Rudolph controls her career, and she is a prisoner in LA because her husband lives there and the court won’t let her have her children and move? I’m sorta thinking it’s the later because she kinda said all of those things. Some of those things were said whilst crying.
In conclusion, I actually felt bad for Britney. Not in a way where I pity her because thinking about her $125 million took the “pity card” away. In fact, I probably felt bad because of the dramatically sad music they played in the background and all those shots of her looking sadly out the window.
I would like to apply for a job of just traveling around with Britney and making jokes all day long just to make her laugh. Is there an application for that? Oh, and she really is looking good again so perhaps I can also do a little snooky-poo with her. Eh, I’ll be sure to ask about that during the interview process.
What did you guys think about Britney: For the Record? Did you all feel as horrible as me for making fun of her all these years? Do all bloggers go to heaven?
www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack
Nov
07
Leave it Beaver, and Madonna, to reunite those crazy Mickey Mouse Club kids also known as Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. Last night at grandma Madonna’s concert in Los Angeles, Britney Spears made a surprise visit on stage and helped Madonna sing a newer version of “Human Nature.” I’m sure that sounded pleasing to the ear. Britney did look good though. And, again, while I spent the better part of a year teeing off on Britney for going crazy, now that she’s thin and sane again I’m hopping back on the bandwagon that was once lovingly referred to as the “crazy-train.”
But the blessed surprises didn’t stop there. Oh no they most certainly did not. Later Justin Timberlake took to the stage in order to give the concert a little street cred and sang his portion of “4 Minutes.”
Later, since Britney, Madonna, and Justin Timberlake all performed on the same stage on the same night the world actually imploded. You are actually reading this blog post from heaven….and in most cases, hell.
Nov
07
Happy Friday and welcome back to everyones favorite lazy segment called “This Time Last Year.” This Time Last Year will take a brief look at what was going on in the
celebrity world…this time last year (go figure). Oh, and also I’m lazy so this is pretty easy to do on a Friday. Here’s what was going on with Britney and her music career…this time last year…
Dear Little Girls of the World,
Hey there. How are ya doing? Yeah? You doing ok in school? Yeah, sometimes math can be a little tricky. Don’t let those boys push you around during gym class either. Ok, come around here little girls of the world. IBBB has a little story for you.
Once upon a time there was a young girl named Britney Spears. She made it big on this show called “The Mickey Mouse Club.” Years later the music industry went crazy and all of a sudden brainwashed the world and people felt that Britney was an entertainer and could sing. Britney made a gazillion dollars and a few years later she went nuts. She would party like it was her job and show her vagina to anyone and everyone that would look at it. She had a couple of kids and got married. Technically this was her second marriage. Anyway, Britney then got divorced, drank more, partied more, shaved her head, became a whore, lost custody of her kids, smashed a few cars, and showed her vagina dozens and dozens and dozens of times. It really was a magical time. And all of this was at the ripe old age of 25.
Well. little girls of the world, while we don’t know yet how this story will end for Britney there is a major lesson for you to learn. A major lesson! And that lesson is if you drink a lot, dabble in drugs, and show your vagina a ton you too can have the #2 album in America. So put down those math books. Turn off your computers. Burn your science books. Just pick up the bottle of vodka and lose the underpants. As you’re getting off your school bus be sure to flash a little of your “gentlemen greeter” and you are well on your way to living The American Dream. Remember, life has no consequences. Now go run with these here scissors. Be good.
The End!
www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack
Nov
03
Posted by IBBB
britney spears
Britney Spears looks easy and breezy on the cover of her new album “Circus” and this picture has almost completely erased from my mind the images of her attacking a defenseless SUV with her Mary Poppins umbrella. Oh the good old days…when the jokes basically wrote themselves.
Anybald, I’m glad Britney is looking good again because, to me, when you look attractive it makes you a better person and I pay more attention to you. Fatasses can take a giant step to the back of the line.
Britney also revealed on her website that her next single will in fact be “Circus” which is explained as an “up-tempo track” according to Britney. Yeah, that’s code word for “I pressed the “up-tempo” button on my Casio piano.”
www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack
Oct
17
Happy Friday and welcome back to everyones favorite lazy segment called “This Time Last Year.” This Time Last Year will take a brief look at what was going on in the
celebrity world…this time last year (go figure). Oh, and also I’m lazy so this is pretty easy to do on a Friday. Here’s what was going on with Britney and the Church…this time last year…
This may be hard to believe, but Britney is in the news again. This time it’s because of her new album, which I believe is called “Baby One More Time.” Britney is dressed like a widowed streetwalker and is sitting on the lap of a “priest” in the confessional booth. The Catholic church, of course, is outraged at this as it really cuts back on the amount of time they can focus on trying to molest their alter boys and raise enough money to pay their legal bills due to the thousands of molestation cases against them. Geesh, I’d be mad too.
One spokesperson for the Catholic league has said, “She should be trying to be an entertainer without mocking a Catholic sacrament.” True. Oh, yeah, you know what else is kinda true? A spokesperson for IBBB has issued the following statement to the spokesperson of the Catholic league. “Priests should be trying to be holy-like without molesting children.” While I know that’s not a sacrament it should just go without saying.
Look, I’m not saying all priests are diddle-monsters, but probably the majority of them. While Britney is “train-wreck-hot-sex-on-a-plate,” there is nothing wrong with these pictures. I mean, maybe if her “gentlemen greeter” was showing that could be an issue, but I think the Catholics who are obsessed out there should just be pleased that photographs are out there with a girl of legal age on the lap of a priest….with key focus on “girl of legal age.” This is actually some good press for them, no?
www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack
Oct
16
Posted by IBBB
britney spears
I have no idea if her middle name is Marie, I just assume. Anybald, apparently going bat-shit crazy and hanging on the brink of total mental meltdown is all you need to get a number 1 song in the good old US of A!
As of yesterday, Britney’s new song “Womanizer” has gone from #96 to the #1 song in the country. This is the first time that Britney has gone #1 (giggity) since her first single, “Baby One More Time” back in 1999. Ah, remember good old 1999 when we all thought the world was going to explode at midnight on New Years? Ahhh Y2K. What a simpler time.
Britney even trumped Mariah Carey. Britney had 286,000 first week download sales, which is 200 more than the last record holder….Mariah Carey. You see, Mariah only went crazy enough by stripping down to her underpants and passing out popsicles on TRL back in the day. I mean, Britney really went full throttle by shaving her head and attacking a car with an umbrella. Perhaps if Mariah had passed out umbrellas instead of popsicles, Britney wouldn’t have beat her.
Source It Up!
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Oct
11
Posted by IBBB
britney spears
Hey remember how I made fun of Britney for the past 2 years? Yeah, well I didn’t mean it and you just misinterpreted my jokes. Britney is hot again and that changes everything. Not only am I back on the bandwagon, but I’m applying for the conductor position.
Britney’s new video, Womanizer, debuted on 20/20 last night, because that makes sense, and I have to admit that while the song makes my ears twitch and then spit out blood and wax, the video is actually good….entertaining even. I mean, seeing Britney naked and greased up like a pig on a rotisserie is enough to hold my attention before falling off my chair.
Britney plays many different personalities in this video (the old me would have made an off color joke), but when she wasn’t naked in the sauna I couldn’t figure out why in the hell she looked so different to me. I pride myself on being able to identify Britney even when she isn’t shaved bald and grasping a green umbrella, but I couldn’t put my finger on it (giggity). Then it hit me with the same force that Ike hit Tina with. Britney stole the Olsen Sluts eyebrows!
Is it possible to grow out your eyebrows? If so, I’m pretty sure Britney did that. It makes her face look different, almost Neanderthal like. Eh, it works for her. You wanna know why boys and girls? Because at the end of the day Britney is thin again and that makes her a better person, a better singer, a better dancer, prettier, hotter, and a better citizen.
My favorite part of the video is when Britney pulls a “Reverse Blonsky” and kicks that dude in the crotch. It’s not normal that as soon as I see that I immediately think, “Britney totally just Reversed Blonsky’d that guy!”
What did you trash bags think of the video?
If you ever wanted to hear Britney Spears sing “live” your best bet was to be on the streets of LA whilst Britney and Ellen went Christmas caroling for a segment Ellen was taping that will air on December 16th. 
Sure I’m a day late and $4 dollars short, but after all the hate mail I received yesterday for not even mentioning Britney on Good Morning America, I figure I’m better late then never. Or is it “never late and better?” No idea.
So you can all pretend that you didn’t watch “Britney: For the Record” last night, but I know the truth. I know you did. I also know you watched it again directly after it aired the first time. I’m like Visa. I’m everywhere.
Happy Friday and welcome back to everyones favorite lazy segment called “This Time Last Year.” This Time Last Year will take a brief look at what was going on in the celebrity world…this time last year (go figure). Oh, and also I’m lazy so this is pretty easy to do on a Friday. Here’s what was going on with Britney and her music career…this time last year…
Britney Spears looks easy and breezy on the cover of her new album “Circus” and this picture has almost completely erased from my mind the images of her attacking a defenseless SUV with her Mary Poppins umbrella. Oh the good old days…when the jokes basically wrote themselves.
Happy Friday and welcome back to everyones favorite lazy segment called “This Time Last Year.” This Time Last Year will take a brief look at what was going on in the celebrity world…this time last year (go figure). Oh, and also I’m lazy so this is pretty easy to do on a Friday. Here’s what was going on with Britney and the Church…this time last year…
Hey remember how I made fun of Britney for the past 2 years? Yeah, well I didn’t mean it and you just misinterpreted my jokes. Britney is hot again and that changes everything. Not only am I back on the bandwagon, but I’m applying for the conductor position.
