More Mindless Stories on ‘britney spears’
18
Can Someone Please Photoshop This Britney Into Real Life? Sweet, thanks.
Britney Spears has been drawn to life in the new ads for Candie’s. To no surprise, this is a major campaign for Kohl’s which, if Britney wasn’t famous, she would most certainly be working. Starting off “ringing” at the register and then one day she’d be cleaning out dressing rooms. What a great “what if” moment.
Brito-Paloozza was shot by three world renowned photographers: Annie Leibovitz, Mark Selinger, and Terry Richardson. I’ve only heard of one of them, so apparently I’m not worldly enough. Maybe I should be working at Kohl’s.
This Candie’s campaign takes a look at Britney through the lens of each unique photographer. However, there is one common theme: Photoshop. Seriously it looks nothing like the Brit that we’ve all come to know and love tolerate. Hopefully one day we’ll live in a world where this Britney can come to life. I have big dreams and big goals.
28
Why Does Britney Always Look Like She Itches?
That’s always something I can’t seem to figure out. It’s like she looks itchy or looking at her I get itchy…something. Her boots also look like they’re soaking wet on the inside and smell like the inside of a bowling ball. Why can’t she ever seem to get it together? More importantly, why do I care? I’m going to see a therapist about this right away and by “therapist” I really mean “toilet.”
Britney Angela Mary-Jo Phylis Viola Spears was out in Calabasas, CA getting her nails done and a quick frozen beverage from Starbucks (who you know are thinking, “please just go to Dunkin Donuts” when she walks in) the other day. Britney is still going strong with her 1995 Real Housewives of Orange County fake nails and Jennifer Aniston sweater pokies. Eh, all is right with the world, I guess. Well, except in Haiti. That place is still a disaster. Oh wait, Britney’s hair looks like Haiti. Sweet, I’ll stop now.
08
Greasy Ratty Hair? Pissed Off Look? Stains on Her Ripped Shirt? Worn Boots? Do I Smell a Relapse!?
When the top story on the news is Kate Gosselin’s new hair, I long for the days when Britney Spears was all over the place and declaring Jihad on all the Starbucks in a 15 mile radius of Los Angeles. I mean, I don’t want her knocking over a 7-11 or stealing her little sisters baby, but I wouldn’t mind a little of the old Britney back. And when I saw these latest photos of Britney Spears doing a little shopping in Beverly Hills yesterday with that pissed off look, ratty hair, and coffee stains on her ripped shirt I thought maybe, just maybe, we’ll catch a brief glimpse of umbrella girl one more time.
In other Britney Spears Not Hair news, it’s being reported that Brito has a new single that should start making it’s way onto the radio this coming March. Also rumored is that David Guetta may have produced her new single. You will remember David Guetta as the person who single-handedly saved Kelly Rowland’s career thanks to the remix of “When Loves Take Over.” If you don’t remember that then get the hell out of here before I call the cops.
29
Britney Spears: Dark Hair Today, 5150 Tomorrow.
In a world where I thrive on breakdowns, guess who is back to dark hair again? If you guessed “Nell Carter” you’d be wrong as she is dead. If you guessed Britney Spears you would be correct. I swear to Santa Christ if there is an umbrella in the black carry-on bag I may, in fact, squeal with delight. Look, I don’t want Britney being a danger to herself or to others, but let’s face it, the comeback is over and, well, I’m ready for her to get a little rowdy again. I mean, I’ve been banking on Lohan (any Lohan) but there are only so many prayers I can say for the entire year of 2009 before I start to just give up on her.
Anyohbabybaby, Britney was spotted by the paparazzi (from what I can only assume is 3 blocks up the street, hiding in a tree, with a disposable camera) with her new dark brown/brunette hair stopping by the Mondrian Hotel in West Hollywood yesterday. Now if those boots she was wearing were those cruddy brown cowboy ones that she refused to take off for 365 days I’d be a little hopeful that we were getting our old Britney back…you know….the crazy one? Regardless I will re-write my letter to Jesus Claus and ask for few Britney crotch shots getting out of the car in 2010. Cheers!
11
Britney Spears in a Bikini, Vaginastein in Hiding
Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve made a Britney post? The answer is “Too Long.” Too long. I think this is mainly because Britney isn’t quite the mess she used to be and whilst that is “thumbs up” for her, it’s really “thumbs down” for me. I’d actually give it three thumbs down on my Tivo if I could. Whatever that means. Anyrack, Britney suited up in her IBBB blue bikini and brought “What’s His Face” and “The Other One” down to the pool on their downtime in Miami.
Britney’s body is back in shape, which I feel makes her a better person. Although her legs still freak me out a bit….kinda like the same way that female gymnasts height and legs freak me out. It’s like they could put me in a headlock with their legs and end my pathetic life in a second. Where was I? Oh yeah, did you hear that Britney was caught on tape at a recent concert saying that you could see her p*ssy hanging out of her costume? Classy. Love it. I’m over this post. Good day.
