More Mindless Stories on ‘brad pitt’
Jan
11
11
Jennifer Aniston Doesn’t Have Tears
Ok, well that’s a bit of a stretch, but when David Arquette was on Howard Stern yesterday he did mention that he never saw Jennifer shed one tear over Brad, no one knew about the “Angelina thing,” and David only has sex with Courtney Cox. Go figure!?!
Here are some additional snippets from a recap that my friends at Us Weekly (they don’t know me) wrote up:
On Jen and Brangelina:
Howard: How hard it must have been for you, your wife is best friends with Jennifer Aniston, so you’re in the middle of that whole thing.
David: Jennifer’s great. When the marriage ended, it was sad.
Howard: Do you have to act like Brad’s an ass all the time?
David: No, I love Brad, he’s a great guy. He did some stuff that hurt our friend, but you know…
Howard: Do you ever see Jen cry?
David: No, no, never, not one tear shed.
Howard: There was speculation that the whole Vince Vaughn thing wasn’t true, that they never actually dated.
David: No, no, they dated, they really cared about each other.
Howard: How did you hear that Brad split? Did Courtney tell you?
David: Um, we knew, we all knew about it.
Howard: When did you find out he was sleeping with Angelina, did you know that?
David: That part was pretty much a surprise.
Howard: Did you give Jen advice, talk to her about her marriage?
David: In general, I think that if something’s not working out between people, you just move on.
Howard: Well they were working until Angelina came along..
David: Yeah, they wouldn’t have broke up if not for that. [laughs]
But all kidding aside with this whole thing, Jennifer is the greatest girl. Those magazines, they take something and it’s working for them so they play it out, but she’s not really that sad about the whole thing. She’s the greatest, she’s such a sweetheart, she’s so funny.
But all kidding aside with this whole thing, Jennifer is the greatest girl. Those magazines, they take something and it’s working for them so they play it out, but she’s not really that sad about the whole thing. She’s the greatest, she’s such a sweetheart, she’s so funny.
Howard: I don’t think Jen should hate her, she should hate Brad not Angelina.
David: I don’t think Jennifer hates her either, I don’t think it’s like that. The way they depict it is completely wrong. She’s a very strong woman, she’s totally solid and she’s just got a great attitude.
Howard: Have you talked to Brad?
David: I spoke to him once. We didn’t actually speak, I texted him, I just said congratulations on the baby and he wrote back.
On his marriage and sex life:
Howard: You and Courtney still go to therapy?
David: Yeah, we go to therapy once in a while.
Howard: Why?
David: Just stress from work. But I’m happy, don’t get me wrong, I love her.
Howard: Have you ever cheated on her?
David: Never! I’ve never had sex with anyone else.
Howard: How do you keep your sex life hot, does she dress up in little costumes?
David: No, she doesn’t dress up, she’s not a dress up kind of girl. I’ll put on a cowboy hat once in a while.
Howard: Do you fantasize about other women?
David: No, never. I don’t think in those terms anymore, when I was single I was crazy, but when I got engaged, I changed my whole attitude.
Dec
11
11
Jolie Pitts Arrive in NYC Like Tourists
[insert Christmas song now]…You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not shout for Shiloh I’m telling you why, the Jo-Jo Pitts are coming to town (minus Shiloh….again). They leave when Shiloh’s sleeping, they come back when she’s awake. They know if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for Shiloh’s sake!
End Scene.
Yeah, that was much better sung in my head than typed out. Oh well. Anyway, the Jolie-Pitts arrived in New York and while 3 out of 4 of them are dressed in their Sunday best, they decided to dress one of them in typical New York tourist fashion…..dress socks and sandals. I mean, the only thing that was missing from that outfit was a camera around Zahara’s neck and a life-sized map tucked under her arm. Oh yeah, and also add the thought if she got into a car, drove 5 miles an hour, and then crashed. Now THAT’s the type of New York tourist I’m talking about! P.S, I got an extra 5 points for hitting 5 stereotypes in one post. I think I win something. Perhaps a lawsuit?
The Jolie-Pitts were in the small apple to help support Mother Angelina promote her new movie, “The Good Shepard” or as the kids like to call it, “#1 in the box office = new brothers and sisters to buy.” It has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?
Nov
20
20
Brad Pitt Channels Willie Nelson
It was really a toss up for me whether I thought he was channeling Willie Nelson or that dude who sang “Rico Suave” in the mid 1990’s. I went with Willie Nelson, well, because of the whole drug factor and braids, etc.
Regardless, the Jolie-Pitt’s were out and about with their family in sunny Mumbai (no idea where that is) and decided to hop on a boat and take a bit of a tour. The water looks awesome…very tropical. I believe that water of that color is most ideal for fishing for new kids to adopt. I’m sorry I just have this rule about not getting on a boat in a foreign country. I never would go para sailing on some random island. I just think that they have different rules/laws over there when it comes to boats that are way different than here in the good old U.S of A. Call me ignorant.
In even more important Brad and Angelina news, some crazy-ass newspaper is claiming that Angelina Jolie has been using “voodoo” to keep Brad and Jennifer Aniston apart. No joke, they’re actually saying that. Here is a quote, (I shit you not):
“…And according to a leading voodoo expert, Doctor Snake, Jolie has allegedly put a magical spell on Pitt to forbid him from rekindling his relationship with the former Friends beauty.
“That vial sounds suspiciously like a voodoo ‘mojo hand’, or magical charm”, said the author of cult best-seller “Voodoo Spellbook” to Softpedia.”
Awesome! Seriously? Dr. Snake? Mojo Hand? Dr. Snake? Really? Dr. Snake? Let me tell you something “HindustanTimes” it’s award winning journalism like that that will land you an online celebrity blog such as one like ImBringingBloggingBack. Keep up the great work.
Nov
13
13
Pitt’s Mock Orphans With Their Own Kids
So I was tossing around the idea of either the title that I went with or “The Pitts to Adopt Everything In Sight.” It was a real tough choice. Anyway…Brad, Angelina, Maddox, Zahara, and some pigeons were just quietly strolling around India. Oh yeah, and there was a camera crew with them every two seconds. I’m sure the people of India are psyched that the “do-gooders” are in town every weekend to scope out their kids and see who else they can bring home with them. Do you think their kids miss their homeland?
So what the hell do you do in India? I’d imagine just throw rocks at each other, but I’m ignorant. The Jolie-Pitt’s toured the Taj Mahal Palace, ordered a pizza, and canceled their deep sea trip on a yacht because they decided to stay indoors. India sounds awesome! I’m totally going there for spring break. However, if I were them I would have definitely joined in on a good old-fashioned street rock fight with the locals. They just don’t know how to immerse themselves into the local culture. Snobs.
Oct
27
27
Angelina to Take Your Baby Next
Parents, hold on to your screaming bratty kids because Angelina Jolie is out on the loose and she’s looking for a new kid to adopt. Now, being here in the US, your kids are probably safe as Angelina typically likes to go to no name countries to get herself a kid at a discount price.
According to recent random reports, Angelina and Brad Jolie have already applied to adopt a baby from an Indian orphanage and hope to bring the child home (kicking and screaming) by Christmas. That’s sweet. I’m jealous. Sometimes I wish that I were from a poor village so the rich and famous could adopt me. Damn my parents love for each other!
A drunken source has said, “Brad would prefer a boy no older than 18 months.” Who knew Brad Pitt had so much in common with Michael Jackson? It must be fun to pick and choose kids the “Burger King way.”
