Pull over ma’am. License and registration please. Ma’am, why are you sitting on that man’s lap, ma’am? Brad Pitt is ready to pull a bitch fit after this photo had been taken of him letting his little daughter, Shiloh, drive like a bat out of hell on the grounds of their stinky French home.

I mean, I don’t want to say anything but funny how none of the other kids got to drive the car….none of other “non-white” kids. Interesting. Now isn’t that the real issue? Geesh. Maybe Shiloh is driving them to a Klan meeting.

www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack

Jackpot! According to Us Weekly, who have taken a week off from blowing the cast of The Hills, Brad and Angelina are giving $1 million to kids affected by the war! Finally the war is working in my favor! I have no idea what I’m going to spend the on, but I know it’s going to be on something big like a kegerator or something. I deserve it as I am affected by the war. The war has really ruined my television viewing experience since every time I turn it on there’s always another story about it. Blah blah, Osama bin Laden….blah blah blah, oil…..blah, blah, blah Baghdad Bob. Enough. Now give me my money!

Oh wait, there’s one stipulation I guess. I must be a child living in Iraq. Ugh. I knew I should have moved once they took Laguna Beach off the air. The Jolie-Pitt Foundation will give $500K to Iraqi kids and $500K to American kids who lost a parent while fighting in Iraq or just have a parent who is currently in Iraq. If I ship my dad off for a “vacation” to Iraq does that count? I’m just kidding, dad, there is no vacation planned for you.

Source It Up!

Brad Pitt is a genius who wears all white while doing construction in New Orleans. The KKK would be proud. Nice work retard…I mean, thanks for helping! I do nothing. In other news…

~ Guess What Sexy Beast is Joining 24? ~ AgentBedHead
~ Joan Rivers Does Porn? ~ CelebritySmack
~ Gwen Stefani Puts on Clothes and Sings ~ EvilBeet
~ Kimberly Stewart’s Ass Turns 47 ~ FatBack
~ Tyra is Not in the Running Towards Becoming America’s Next Top Model ~ NinjaDude
~ Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx Does Fashion Rocks ~ PopBytes
~ Keira Knightly Tries to Say Something Nice ~ POTP
~ Sienna Miller Forgot Her Top ~ Yeeeah

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are allegedly in the process of adopting, yet another, child. This time they are dipping into the kiddie-pool of Vietnam. A random source in Vietnam has told US Weekly that they have filed papers with the US Citizenship and Immigration services to adopt a boy from the Tam Binh orphanage in Ho Ch Minh City. Yeah, I don’t know that 4 of those words meant.

Oh one hand I say good for them. On the other hand I say we have plenty of kids here in the US that need adopting. On the other other hand I say why do I care what they do. It’s not like they asked me for permission. The point being, I have 3 hands. Why don’t they just do it the old-fashioned way? Wait, are they trying to form their very own United Nations? Hmmm, interesting. I’ll have to look into that.

In other Angelina Jolie news, it is rumored that she has dropped to 109 pounds (26 kilograms – I have no idea what it is in kilograms, but I’m trying to appeal to my international audience) as she has been grieving for her mom who passed away a few weeks ago. Another random source told US Weekly that, “She isn’t eating. She is very lonely and desperate to make new friends.” Jeeze, just buy stuff. Doesn’t money make you feel better? It would make me feel better. Give me some of that money and I’ll let you know.

In a recent interview with Newsweek, Brad spoke of how is most random job was having to drive around strippers, collect the money, play the music, and catch their clothes as they tore them off. In fact, Brad said, “It was not a wholesome atmosphere and it got very depressing.”
Yeah, that definitely sounds tough.
Brad continues, “After two months I went in to quit, and the guy said, ‘Listen, I’ve got this one last gig tonight.’ So I did it, and this girl—I’d never met her before—was in an acting class taught by a man named Roy London [a famous acting coach]. I went and checked it out, and it really set me on the path to where I am now….strippers changed my life.”
Here’s my response:

Dear Brad,
You live an ideal life and I mean that on every shallow level possible. You have a hot wife, a ton of money, fame, free crap, and women love you. Please don’t continue to kick me in the nuts by saying that the strippers depressed you. Please. This is all I have left. Good day.

Luke Warm Regards,
Pasquale