More Mindless Stories on ‘big brother’
16
Renny: Big Brother 10: Thank Christ!

I’m pretty sure that there’s about 6 people watching Big Brother 10 and I’m one of them. See you guys at the meetings! Possibly the best Big Brother houseguest of all time is Renny, the 55 year old salon owner from New Orleans. To me, she’s like that lady at the Bingo hall who smokes about 5 packs of cigarettes, plays 10 cards at a time, sips white zin out of a plastic cup, has 2 of her cats stuffed in her oversized purse, and has about 7 troll-dolls in front of her for good luck. And I love all of it. Renny also dresses like she’s constantly filming a telenovela while living life in the house and when interviewed in the diary room it’s like she’s on Sabado Gigante. And I love all of it.
Renny’s been calling people out in a way that makes you feel embaressed whilst watching because no one really acknowledges her while she speaks, but you know she’s kinda right. And I won’t lie when I say that I like the fact she has the same deepness in her voice as (my other favorite person in this world) Dina Lohan. Her outfits are kick ass in a way that this is what you’d expect your 100 year old grandmother to put on if you locked her in the attic and she forgot what year it was. Half the episode I’m expecting a crystal ball to be placed in front of her so she can “talk of times in the future.”
In a Big Brother house of the typical characters that they’ve cast for the past 10 seasons (yes 10 seasons) Renny is a breath of fresh air….a breath of fresh crazy awkward air. If you’ve been watching you know that Renny is up on the block to be evicted tonight, but she’s up against that other dude who tried to screw over the whole house. If these people have any sense they’ll keep her. She’s, so far, the only reason to watch BB10. Although I’m sorta digging Libra too. She’s a sass-master and I like that.
Renny for President in 2012! Who’s with me!
28
Who Won Big Brother 9?

Ah another season of Big Brother has come and gone and if you’re one of the other 17 people like me who actually watches this show you were probably not completely shocked that Adam won the $500,000 prize and captured almost all the votes. That’s nice. You may remember Adam being captured on camera multiple times making fun of children with autism all while he actually works with children with autism, so it’s great and well deserved that he won the money. Karma was apparently missing last night. Although, Adam did claim that he would donate $100,000 to children with autism. Someone stay on top of that and see if it actually happens. I’m wondering if he’ll change his tune after they take taxes out of the $500,000 and he’s basically left with like $275,000. Time will tell.
19
Who Won Big Brother 8?
- I love Danielle’s anorexia look. It really works on her. The turrets works for Dick too.
- Wow look at Julie Chen with her “F-Me” black leather pants on. Oww!
- Uh, it’s been 6 minutes. Why hasn’t Amber started crying yet?
- What the hell is wrong with Eric’s eyebrows and eyes? Wait, does he have turrets too? I’m confused.
- Jameka references Dick and Danielle as “pimps and ho’s.” Brilliant. Me gusta Jameka.
- Ambers basically asks Danielle why she’s a whore on national television. I’m shocked Amber didn’t start crying during her own questioning.
- To be honest, I’ve started to lapse into a coma. Code red.
- I’ve decided I hate Danielle’s voice. It sounds like two cats chain-smoking and playing the spoons under the porch. Yup that’s it.
- Seriously, these people are all goons. Wait, Julie Chen just changed from leather pants to a skirt. Eh, easier access I guess.
- When it’s time for the crew to vote, they all pussy out on what they’ll say to the douche-bag Donato’s. I would have been like, “your mother’s a whore, go F yourself, you look like skeletor” etc. Borrrring! ZZzzzzzzz.
- They reveal the secret that Eric was America’s Player. They made it seem like a big deal. It wasn’t. It was F’n dumb. I hate me for recapping this.
- I vote to evict…Julie Chen.
- Eric votes for Dick
- Jameka votes for Danielle
- Dustin votes for Dick
- Jen votes for Danielle
- Zack votes for Dick
- Amber votes for Dick
The jury is retarded. The end. P.S why was Lizzy Grubman in the audience? No joke.
18
Big Brother: Sure I’ll Recap Ya!
- Great it’s the “power of veto” episode. This one is always the worst because no one ever uses it. Although my favorite part is at the end when they all stand up in slow-motion and play the “Survivor” music.
- What is Jen talking about “negative sarcasm?” Is there “positive sarcasm?” Where do I sign up?
- “Evil Dick” and Danielle are on the chopping block. Evil Dick as the “Frankie Factor.” What’s the Frankie Factor you ask? Remember Frankie from MTV’s Real World? Yeah, I couldn’t eat while watching her because she looked filthy. Evil Dick looks like he leaves a ring around the bathtub.
- Now, does Danielle suffer from “the anorexia” or “the bulimia?” I always forget which one makes your shoulder blades pop out.
- Why does Nick have on a 100% sweater while in the diary room? They’re in LA right? Wait, maybe their not. Is that the twist?
- Seriously is this crap for real? Nick starts to cry when telling Danielle he has feeling for her. I mean there are no real tears, but he says he’s going to cry. Danielle then tells Nick her big secret. She isn’t 21. She’s 20. Da-da-duuuun. That changes everything! No wait, it doesn’t.
- Why does Mike never blink? He’s like that crazy run-away-bride chick that said she got kidnapped. Know who I’m talking about?
- Ummm is Amber clinically crazy. She cries about 23 hours per day. She even cried when she got picked to try for the “power of veto.” But not liked cried. She sobbed. Nuts. Awesome.
- Wait, she’s crying again and saying it’s not fair that her name got picked to play the game. Was she not allowed to bring her meds into the house?
- Wait, now she’s crying again, again. The roommates think it’s really nice of her to cry for them. Nice? I would file a restraining order.
- Everyone is fighting, although I’m not following it. Did I just black out?
- Danielle wins the “power of veto.” Does that mean she gets to eat now…or no?
- So Jen wins a unitard that she must wear all week. To recap, it basically shows a little or a lot of cameltoe. I feel Big Brother stole my idea.
- In closing, Danielle took herself off the block and Joe was nominated. The end.
- P.S If you don’t watch Big Brother, none of this will have made sense.











