More Mindless Stories on ‘beyonce’
29
Beyonce’s Weave is a Flight Risk
Beyonce’s hair might be trying to distract you from her “almost there” cameltoe, but not from us experts/losers. Beyonce, apparently wearing outfits again made by Tina Knowles, performed at the F1 Rocks Singapore concert this past weekend. With some insane dance moves and a power fan, Beyonce’s hair began to fly. Sadly, it’s been reported that one of the original members of Destiny’s Child was the one hired to turn the fan on.
Oh, by the way, the above was not so much reported as it was made up by me.
Can I just say that I don’t ever want to hear “Single Ladies” ever again. More importantly I don’t want to see anyone else try to make a “funny” YouTube video to “Single Ladies” ever again. The only YouTube videos I want to see played on a loop is Nikki Blonsky knocking her coffee table over when she found out she was nominated for a Golden Globe. That never gets old.
12
2001…Throw Your Hands Up At Me
Beyonce? Are the Friends really friends? Dust off your “Say My Name” single because Destiny’s Child is together again. Sure they’re not making a new album or anything, but they did come together for Kelly Rowland’s 28th birthday at Opera in LA the other night. I’m not surprised that “The Other One” made it to the party, but am a little shocked that Beyonce took time out of her schedule to sing Happy Birthday to Kelly. I’m sure Beyonce started out by singing Happy Birthday, but then turned it into a mix of “At Last,” “Single Ladies,” and “If I Were a Boy.” Then I’m sure they handed Beyonce and award at the party and offered her a movie role to play another “famous woman in history” so that she can finally win that Oscar that she’s been chasing since her days as Foxy Cleopatra in Austin Powers. I’ll take a breath now.
07
Seriously Who Poses Like This?
What ever happened to the good old days of just standing their and yelling, “Cheeeeese!” It was a simpler time. Now, Beyonce is biting her finger and raising her hand up in the air all whilst crossing her legs. And don’t give me the bullsh*t that she’s playing that ridiculous “Sasha Fierce” character. Yeah, no, it’s not a character. That’s actually called “Multiple Personality Disorder.” Own it. Remember when Garth Brooks pull this crap? Yeah, where is he today?
05
Beyonce’s Electoral Cameltoe!
Wow. Due to hard economic times, we haven’t been able to play the “ImBringingBloggingBack Cameltoe Rating System….to the Stars!” Well, thanks to Beyonce and the bailout, we now can. As you know, IBBB rates the level of cameltoeocity and will award up to 5 camels. Ooooo! Ohhhhh! Ahhhhhh! I know.
Thanks to this being a historic election and Beyonce pouring herself into the jeans, for the first time in a long long time (perhaps ever…I’m too lazy to go back and check) I am awarding Beyonce 5 camels out of 5 camels. Congratulations Beyonce! This must be quite the honor.
Beyonce, Jay Z, Mary J Blige, and an array of others were doing their part to get people to vote the other day….even if it took Beyonce speaking out of her camel. It was allllll worth it!
03
Trust Me. The Japanese Eat This Sh*t Up!
Over in Japan, Beyonce and her sister are like freakin’ King Kong and Godzilla. I’m surprised they didn’t enter the stage by crashing through the wall and picking up the tiny Japanese paparazzi. Anychild, King Kong and Godzilla attended the Eight Million Ginza Gates store opening in Japan over the weekend. I’m almost positive that “Ginza” is Japanese for “multiple car crashes.”
