More Mindless Stories on ‘awards’
12
Kanye West at the Grammy Awards
11
Beyonce & Tina Turner Have a Sass Off
Anyway, if you saw it, you noticed that Beyonce took the stage first and forgot to wear her pants. This was looking ok until she sat on that chair and then sorta looked like that fat little girl that you always had to invite to your pool party and she’d sit on your picnic table and get chlorine water all over the pizza. Anyway, that’s what she looked like to me.
Next up, Tina Turner/Tina Knowles came out and sang up a storm. Then Beyonce came back out so they could not only sing “Proud Mary,” but also so they could show a side-by-side comparison of Beyonce’s legs vs. Tina Turners 68 year old legs. Oh, and Tina won for having better and thinner legs. Nice work Beyonce. Tina may have looked like she was wearing one of those old fashion trash cans around her waist and wrapped aluminum foil around her legs, but she was still looking better than Beyonce. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to throw her on the grill or give her the oil can. Regardless, the performance was a success even when it looked like Beyonce pushed Tina once or twice. Pushing a senior citizen isn’t that big of a deal. It isn’t, right? Oh well, to the left, to the left.
03
Reality Show Awards 2007. Ouch.
The chicks from Big Brother 8
Sanjaya and that girl who can only cry
Dick Donato (BB8 Winner) and Elvira (because that makes sense)
Brooke Hogan (and her boobs)Reality Show Awards 2007. Ouch.
10
Britney Spears: VMAs Performance: Gimme More….Boniva
Uh, now does Britney know that we know that she doesn’t sing live? She may know some of us know, but does she know we all know? All of us. Everyone. Even Helen Keller can see and hear this fraud-show coming from a mile away. Anyway, Britney opened up the VMAs with a lifeless performance of her new song “Gimme More.” She should change the song to “Gimme More Boniva” because Britney was moving like a 75 year old woman with osteoporosis. Seriously she was barely moving and didn’t even look like she cared she was there. Look, I’m not saying she needs to get herself down to Olsen weight, but I am saying that if she is going to wear Paula Abdul’s old “Vibeology” costume from the 1991 Grammy’s then I really think she should lose a couple more pounds.Britney Spears: Gimme More…Boniva
27
Beyonce Later Wrapped Vegetables in Her Dress and Grilled It
Beyonce won some big ass awards last night at the BET Awards. Beyonce took home “Video of the Year” for “Irreplaceable” and was also named best R&B Artist. However, just to rub it in Beyonce’s face, Jennifer Hudson also won two awards; “Best New Artist” and “Female Actress.” Looks like Beyonce got the shaft again in the actress category. I mean she got looked over for her role in Austin Powers a few years ago and then she got looked over again for her role in Dream Girls. What’s a bugaboo to do? Speaking of which, Destiny’s Child reunited last night, although I’m thinking it was only done so that Beyonce could show how much better she was doing than the other two. I say bring back Destiny’s Child. Hell, even add a 4th member again and re-release “Say My Name.” Bring back the year 2000. That was a good year for me. Wait, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, Beyonce has on enough tin foil to grill 250 pounds of vegetables. I bet it was hot to the touch.
