More Mindless Stories on ‘awards’
Feb
23
23
The Oscars are Finally Over! Here’s What I Won’t Miss….
Praise Jesus Claus, the Oscars are finally over! That means, I believe, that the 6-month long award season is finally over as well. I couldn’t be more psyched. To me, award season is like watching the news for 14 hours straight during the years first snow storm. They cover the absolute piss out of it and after 3 hours I don’t care to hear from the person who’s at the supermarket and is pissed off because they’re out of bread and milk. Here’s what I won’t be missing about the award season:
- What are you wearing!? Seriously who gives an F? Is anyone at home going to see Angelina Jolie’s dress and going out to the “store” to buy it? We’re in a recession. Maybe the question could be “Can you give us money?”
- Slumdog Millionaire. I don’t care. I don’t care that everyone loved this movie. I’m over it. If I have to see those damn kids one more time looking shocked when they win about 15 awards at each award show I’m going to fly to Durka Durka myself and punch them in the nose (1845 fight-style). Final answer.
- Kate Winslet. You, like the Slumdog gang, have been nominated for every award and every category. In turn, you’ve won in every category for every award. Stop “gasping” for breath whilst on the stage and trying to “gather yourself.”
- Everybody likes a comeback. Really? Vanilla Ice. Screech Powers. Ben Seaver. Calvin from 227. Kimmy Gibbler.
- Angelina Jolie’s fake smile. She’s an actress, nothing more.
- People already talking about how when Jennifer Aniston was on stage they cut to a shot of Angelina Jolie laughing.
- Winners saying, “They told me I only have 45 seconds, but I don’t care. I’m going over!” I laughed at that joke in 1989, it’s not funny every year for 20 years. I don’t know who your agent/lawyer/makeup artist/assistant/manager and/or mothers best friend is. I don’t need to know their names.
- The term “Fashion Police.”
- Ryan Seacrest.
I’m also pissed that Jennifer Aniston was all over the Oscars yet not one person had the guts to ask her if the “Friends” were really friends. It was our one shot!
R.I.P Awards Season!
Feb
03
03
IBBB Named in Top 100 Blogs by GiveMeMyRemote!
Time for a little self congratulations (which is the safest sex possible, I believe). GiveMeMyRemote.com (an actual legit website, unlike mine) has named my little site as one of the Top 100 Blogs! Now, GMMR said the list was created in no particular order, but if we were forced to count, I’m #20. Yeah, that’s right. I counted.
GMMR is a great site that actually gets to interview people from The Office and a variety of other shows. You should definitely check it out because, well, they were nice enough to include me. Plus, the chick that owns the site is from Boston and, well, you know how that goes.
Thanks GMMR for the kudos. I would like to return the favor and award you with The Best Website on the Internet (see below).
#1 Best Website on the Internet: GiveMeMyRemote.
See? You’re welcome.
Jun
09
09
Thank You For Being Alive
Yowza. These three are still alive and kicking? 3 out of the 4 cast members of the Golden Girls were all smiles and cracked faces at the TV Land Awards which taped over this past weekend and are scheduled to air on Sunday, June 15th on TV Land. Rue McClanahan, Betty White, and Bea Arthur are all shockingly functional. I’m not even teeing off on their age, I am literally shocked that they are walking around. I think they’re in their 80’s and 90’s, no joke.
Sure, Rue looks a little trashed and for some reason she’s holding everyone’s hand. It’s probably some code or sign. Like if she squeezes Bea’s hand once it means she just pissed herself and if she squeezes it twice it means she totally dumped in her pants. 3 squeezes means “Call the priest, I think I’m ready.”
Ugh, I hope I never get old. I mean, I hope I continue to get older, but I’m hoping at that point there’s some secret medicine that was discovered on Pluto that makes you permanently 35 or something. That’s why we’re exploring in outer space, right? It is, right? Please tell me it is.
Jun
05
05
Lauren Hutton at Bravo A List Awards. So, Uh, What the Hell is She On?
So I got to go to the Bravo A-List Awards which taped last night in NYC thanks to kick-arse NYC event website ChiChi212.com that I contribute to every once in a while. I’ll give you one or two overall recaps of the A-List Awards, but I felt that Lauren Hutton absolutely needed her very own post.
Now keep in mind that these awards taped about almost 3-hours of footage, but they’ll only be airing like 90 minutes, so I’m not sure what they will cut out in editing. However, let me tell you, the highlight of my night was watching Lauren Hutton win some Lifetime Achievement Award. First off, when they announce her name she just stands at the top of the stairs and keeps standing there until someone tells her to start walking down them. Then, she comes down the stairs like she’s trying to balance herself walking a tightrope 7,500 feet off the ground. I immediately assume she’s drunk, but brush it off as awkwardness. Oh, and then she starts talking. Now she claims she’s really “tired” and has been up for 46 hours, but after she starts talking about taking 10,000 of the actual A-List Awards and putting them in one of the holes in the atmosphere, we all started to wonder what in the holy hell she was talking about. Then all of a sudden she kind of laughs and says that she’s standing by what she just said. At this point of her never ending speech of randomness literally the entire place is all looking at each other and everyone has the moment of “Ohhhhh, she’s on something, I get it now!” For the remainder of the speech she is all awkwardly putting the award up in the air and then behind her back and she just keeps swaying and fidgeting. Lauren also takes the time to tell us all the different things she can do with the award. It was great. I’m hoping they air it in its entirety, but something tells me they won’t.
Feb
25
25
Hey There Creepy Gary Busey at the Oscars!
The Oscars couldn’t be more boring, but that changed tonight when Gary Busey crashed an interview with Ryan Seacrest and Jennifer Garner. Luckily someone already tossed crazy Gary up on the “YouTube” that all the kids are wild about for your viewing pleasure.
Anyway, to recap the absolute crap out of Gary Busey’s crashing, Ryan Seacrest was asking Jennifer Garner craptastic questions about what she was wearing (a dress, I’d assume) when Gary comes running over to tell Ryan that he’s been looking for him for years. I believe it’s at that point when Jennifer Garner look like she’s in the process of doing “the poop” in her pants or dress for that matter. Assuming she’s wearing underwear she is sure to have a nice sampling of skid-marks in that pair.
Gary comes back for more in a few seconds and gives Jennifer a bear hug and a kiss on the neck because, you know, that makes sense. In conclusion Ryan tries to interview Seth Rogan, but not before that crazy minx, Gary Busey, comes back for more and Ryan treats him like you would treat that dorky kid in your gym class by telling him you’ll meet him “at the party later.” Like a crack-whore in heat, Gary falls for the trick and this will now make it into Oscar history. Oh yeah, and the Oscars on too.
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