More Mindless Stories on ‘awards’
19
Joyce DeWitt Back on Television Where She Belongs
Sure it looks like she’s still bitching about how Suzanne Somers ruined Three’s Company and made everything on the set so tense, but I’m still glad that we live in a world where Joyce DeWitt is a part of our lives and by “our lives” I of course mean “my life.” I’m a little surprised that Janet got the night off from the flower shop, but I’m sure she put in for it months ago.
Joyce DeWitt, enjoying (I have no idea) the red carpet at the 2010 TV Land Awards in Los Angeles yesterday is actually looking great for her age. She still looks the same to me from all those years ago (please, God, don’t have a sex dream about Joyce DeWitt tonight).
It’s nice to see Joyce-e-Pants all smiles and getting back into the swing of things in the public eye after she was arrested in El Segundo, CA last year for drunk driving. If you recall she drove through a police barricade and while I may not be in law enforcement I’m almost certain that’s a tip-off that you might be a smidge intoxicated.
Check out some more pics of Joyce below because it will probably be another year before you see her again around here.
19
Only 1 Night Court Bailiff Allowed at the TV Land Awards. And I’ll Give You a Hint, This Isn’t Roz.
“Bull” ladies and gentlemen! Bull. Richard Moll. Yup, that’s him. And Marsha Warfield is nowhere to be found, which I personally think it highly racist. I mean, Bull didn’t even shave his head for this occasion. Eh, at least he broke out his best pair of Dockers for the red carpet. After this he needs to head back to Tech Support at Geek Squad anyway.
19
Ann Coulter and Jimmy Walker: What the TV Land Awards are All About
I don’t even know where to go with this. All I do know is that after seeing all of the pictures from the TV Land Awards, I’ve decided that most of them all need to be their own blog post and, well, why not start with Ann Coulter and Jimmy Walker because why wouldn’t we?
First off, why Ann Coulter is dressed like a Pediatrician on her way to a fund raiser is beyond me. And why Jimmy Walker looks like he’s about “make it rain” on Coulter is, well, priceless. Coupled with Ann’s hand gently brushing Walker’s “Jimmy” makes this photo my favorite in all of TV Land and in just all the land as well.
The fact that Ann Coulter was even invited to the TV Land Awards makes me wonder if “Bombshell McGee’s” limo (public transportation) is arriving to the red carpet as we speak.
02
Pink Performing at the Grammys = Insane
I know I’m a day late and $4 dollars short (or whatever that saying is), but I’m going to be a bit positive when I say that the Grammy Awards were actually good the other night. Really good, in fact. Sure they were 12 hours long, but almost all of the performance kicked a$$ (I added those dollar-signs as a shout out to Ke$ha, who I don’t even understand, but we’ll get to that during a different post).
I know I’m in the minority that wasn’t overly impressed by Beyonce. I was more scared than impressed, but she was good…especially with those “hair whips.” I love a weave that is extra glued. However, the best performance of the night was Pink. Insane. First off, the fact that she could still sing live while spinning in mid-air is amazing. You know Britney was thinking, “I can’t even walk while singin or nothin’ y’all!” I think the people in the crowd were equally amazed. I feel like it was one of those times were the moment was even bigger than itself. For those who weren’t fans of Pink before, they surely are now. Insane.
07
People’s Choice Awards (PCAs) 2010 Winners List. You’re Welcome.
(top left to right) Queen Latifah, Taylor Swift, Jessica Alba - (bottom left to right) Mariah Carey, Mary J Blige, Hugh Jackman w/ Orange Face
(top left to right) Steve Carell, Cloris Leachman, Carrie Underwood - (bottom left to right) Taraji P Henson, Ellen DeGeneres, Kellan Lutz
(top left to right) Ryan Reynolds + Sandra Bullock, Taylor Lautner, Demi Lovato + Colbie Caillat - (bottom left to right) Keith Urban + Nicole Kidman, the Cast of Glee
The People’s Choice Awards (PCAs 2010 as “the kids” call it) were on last night and the people have spoken. Do you want to know what the people have said? They said all of Hollywood is a bunch of real winners and they deserve awards. The money isn’t enough. Awards please! Queen Latifah played host of the PCAs, which I didn’t even know were on anymore, and many many many winners were crowned. Below is a list of who won. I decided not to provide a list of the losers, as they know who they are.
The People’s Choice Awards 2010 Winners:
Favorite Action Star – Hugh Jackman
Favorite Animal Show – Dog Whisperer
Favorite Breakout Movie Actor – Taylor Lautner
Favorite Breakout Movie Actress – Miley Cyrus
Favorite Breakout Music Artist – Lady Gaga
Favorite Comedic Star – Jim Carrey
Favorite Comedy Movie – The Proposal
Favorite Country Artist – Carrie Underwood
Favorite Family Movie – Up
Favorite Female Artist – Taylor Swift
Favorite Franchise – The Twilight Saga
Favorite Independent Movie – “Inglourious Basterds”
Favorite Male Artist – Eminem / Keith Urban
Favorite Movie – Twilight
Favorite Movie Actor – Johnny Depp
Favorite Movie Actress – Sandra Bullock
Favorite Music Collaboration – Run This Town
Favorite New TV Comedy – Glee
Favorite New TV Drama – The Vampire Diaries
Favorite On Screen Team – The Twilight Saga
Favorite Pop Artist – Lady Gaga
Favorite R&B Artist – Mariah Carey
Favorite Rock Band – Paramore
Favorite Sci-Fi / Fantasy Show – Supernatural
Favorite Talk Show – Ellen DeGeneres
Favorite TV Comedy – The Big Bang Theory
Favorite TV Comedy Actor – Steve Carell
Favorite TV Comedy Actress – Alyson Hannigan
Favorite TV Competition Show – American Idol
Favorite TV Drama – House
Favorite TV Drama Actor – Hugh Laurie
Favorite TV Drama Actress – Katherine Heigl
Favorite TV Obsession – True Blood
Favorite Web Celebrity – Ashton Kutcher
Was “Favorite Web Celebrity” really needed? Apparently “the people” thought so.
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23
The Oscars are Finally Over! Here’s What I Won’t Miss….
Praise Jesus Claus, the Oscars are finally over! That means, I believe, that the 6-month long award season is finally over as well. I couldn’t be more psyched. To me, award season is like watching the news for 14 hours straight during the years first snow storm. They cover the absolute piss out of it and after 3 hours I don’t care to hear from the person who’s at the supermarket and is pissed off because they’re out of bread and milk. Here’s what I won’t be missing about the award season:
- What are you wearing!? Seriously who gives an F? Is anyone at home going to see Angelina Jolie’s dress and going out to the “store” to buy it? We’re in a recession. Maybe the question could be “Can you give us money?”
- Slumdog Millionaire. I don’t care. I don’t care that everyone loved this movie. I’m over it. If I have to see those damn kids one more time looking shocked when they win about 15 awards at each award show I’m going to fly to Durka Durka myself and punch them in the nose (1845 fight-style). Final answer.
- Kate Winslet. You, like the Slumdog gang, have been nominated for every award and every category. In turn, you’ve won in every category for every award. Stop “gasping” for breath whilst on the stage and trying to “gather yourself.”
- Everybody likes a comeback. Really? Vanilla Ice. Screech Powers. Ben Seaver. Calvin from 227. Kimmy Gibbler.
- Angelina Jolie’s fake smile. She’s an actress, nothing more.
- People already talking about how when Jennifer Aniston was on stage they cut to a shot of Angelina Jolie laughing.
- Winners saying, “They told me I only have 45 seconds, but I don’t care. I’m going over!” I laughed at that joke in 1989, it’s not funny every year for 20 years. I don’t know who your agent/lawyer/makeup artist/assistant/manager and/or mothers best friend is. I don’t need to know their names.
- The term “Fashion Police.”
- Ryan Seacrest.
I’m also pissed that Jennifer Aniston was all over the Oscars yet not one person had the guts to ask her if the “Friends” were really friends. It was our one shot!
R.I.P Awards Season!
03
IBBB Named in Top 100 Blogs by GiveMeMyRemote!
09
Thank You For Being Alive
Yowza. These three are still alive and kicking? 3 out of the 4 cast members of the Golden Girls were all smiles and cracked faces at the TV Land Awards which taped over this past weekend and are scheduled to air on Sunday, June 15th on TV Land. Rue McClanahan, Betty White, and Bea Arthur are all shockingly functional. I’m not even teeing off on their age, I am literally shocked that they are walking around. I think they’re in their 80’s and 90’s, no joke.
05
Lauren Hutton at Bravo A List Awards. So, Uh, What the Hell is She On?
So I got to go to the Bravo A-List Awards which taped last night in NYC thanks to kick-arse NYC event website ChiChi212.com that I contribute to every once in a while. I’ll give you one or two overall recaps of the A-List Awards, but I felt that Lauren Hutton absolutely needed her very own post.
25
Hey There Creepy Gary Busey at the Oscars!
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12
Kanye West at the Grammy Awards
11
Beyonce & Tina Turner Have a Sass Off
Anyway, if you saw it, you noticed that Beyonce took the stage first and forgot to wear her pants. This was looking ok until she sat on that chair and then sorta looked like that fat little girl that you always had to invite to your pool party and she’d sit on your picnic table and get chlorine water all over the pizza. Anyway, that’s what she looked like to me.
Next up, Tina Turner/Tina Knowles came out and sang up a storm. Then Beyonce came back out so they could not only sing “Proud Mary,” but also so they could show a side-by-side comparison of Beyonce’s legs vs. Tina Turners 68 year old legs. Oh, and Tina won for having better and thinner legs. Nice work Beyonce. Tina may have looked like she was wearing one of those old fashion trash cans around her waist and wrapped aluminum foil around her legs, but she was still looking better than Beyonce. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to throw her on the grill or give her the oil can. Regardless, the performance was a success even when it looked like Beyonce pushed Tina once or twice. Pushing a senior citizen isn’t that big of a deal. It isn’t, right? Oh well, to the left, to the left.
03
Reality Show Awards 2007. Ouch.
The chicks from Big Brother 8
Sanjaya and that girl who can only cry
Dick Donato (BB8 Winner) and Elvira (because that makes sense)
Brooke Hogan (and her boobs)Reality Show Awards 2007. Ouch.
10
Britney Spears: VMAs Performance: Gimme More….Boniva
Uh, now does Britney know that we know that she doesn’t sing live? She may know some of us know, but does she know we all know? All of us. Everyone. Even Helen Keller can see and hear this fraud-show coming from a mile away. Anyway, Britney opened up the VMAs with a lifeless performance of her new song “Gimme More.” She should change the song to “Gimme More Boniva” because Britney was moving like a 75 year old woman with osteoporosis. Seriously she was barely moving and didn’t even look like she cared she was there. Look, I’m not saying she needs to get herself down to Olsen weight, but I am saying that if she is going to wear Paula Abdul’s old “Vibeology” costume from the 1991 Grammy’s then I really think she should lose a couple more pounds.Britney Spears: Gimme More…Boniva
27
Beyonce Later Wrapped Vegetables in Her Dress and Grilled It
Beyonce won some big ass awards last night at the BET Awards. Beyonce took home “Video of the Year” for “Irreplaceable” and was also named best R&B Artist. However, just to rub it in Beyonce’s face, Jennifer Hudson also won two awards; “Best New Artist” and “Female Actress.” Looks like Beyonce got the shaft again in the actress category. I mean she got looked over for her role in Austin Powers a few years ago and then she got looked over again for her role in Dream Girls. What’s a bugaboo to do? Speaking of which, Destiny’s Child reunited last night, although I’m thinking it was only done so that Beyonce could show how much better she was doing than the other two. I say bring back Destiny’s Child. Hell, even add a 4th member again and re-release “Say My Name.” Bring back the year 2000. That was a good year for me. Wait, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, Beyonce has on enough tin foil to grill 250 pounds of vegetables. I bet it was hot to the touch.
