More Mindless Stories on ‘audrina’

I Dream of Teefie?

Do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do do. Bum bum bum bum bum!  Odd that Oddrina would skankify her Halloween costume.  Audrina dressed as “I Dream of TeefieJeanie” as she hosted the “I Dream of Jeanie” Halloween party in Atlantic City.  She’s such a good host.  I’m pretty sure that in the first photo she’s saying to the paparazzi, “You guys, is this where my hips are??”  In the second photo Audrina was instructed to wave and she did so, effortlessly.  A true talent.  The Lucille Ball of our generation.

With the Heat in LA, I’m Sure Heidi’s Outfit Smells Like the Basement of a Church

Ah yes, two of America’s sweethearts, Audrina Patridge and Heidi Montag, filmed scenes for an upcoming episode of this little show known as “The Hills” in LA yesterday.  Audrina, playing the role of the beaver-toofed-dead-eyed whore stands and listens to Heidi as the cameras roll.  I will only assume that Heidi is telling her that she is so desperate to have a baby that she’s now just walking the streets dressed like a whore and waiting for the dicks to magically appear and knock her up. 

Why do I have a feeling that she got the leather pants and leather boots from the mother of the little boy who “lives” next door to Heidi and Spencer? Also, Heidi looks like an albino.  Ok, that’ll be all.

I hope

There May Be a Problem When Audrina is the Fat One

Stephanie Pratt is apparently on day 100 of her “Tour of Anorexia.”  You know there’s a bit of a problem in the food department when Audrina is now the fat one on the show.   I mean, pull out Audrina’s two front teef and she appears to still weigh a good 25 pounds more than Stephanie.  All in all they probably both weigh 110 pounds combined, but Oddrina better shine up her toof brush and start playing “puke, blah, and wahhh” over the toilet or Stephanie is going to really start showing her up!

Please note that IBBB does not promote playing “puke, blah, and wahhh” over the toilet.  In fact, IBBB feels that women should get up to Oprah’s weight as I’m sure she will just make it mandatory at some point before the year is over.  Perhaps a law.

Audrina, a National Treasure

Audrina Patridge, the Meryl Streep of our generation, was stopped by the papa-paparazzi on Sunset Boulevard over the weekend.  Since Audrina is typically camera shy she decided to let the paps know that her rack was “this many months old.”  She’s so precious.  It was rumored that she did boom boom in her skinny jeans and spit up just moments later.  I think she had too many lollipops before her nappy-nap.  That gets ya every time.

Happy Belated Birthday, Audrina

Happy belated birthday, Audrina!  I’m secretly hoping this is the face you’ll be using as you renew your drivers license.  I’m also thinking of using it as my license photo. 

If Audrina knows that she’s going to be photographed and, 9 times out of 10, she has that “look” in her eyes, why not just always look down at the ground or, perhaps, just start walking around on your hands so that your eyes go from “ceiling” to “basement.”  These are just some ideas I have to help her.

Audrina held her rack up whilst walking out of Beso restaurant in LA over the weekend as she celebrated her birthday.  I know we talked about this before, but whatever Oddy did to her face is really working and I hope that she just stops there.  You see, Heidi could have been saved too if she had just stopped after nose was reworked, but, sadly, I wasn’t here to ask her to politely stop.  Audrina, you’ll thank me later.