Audrina Recap: Lynn, My Temporary Barb Evans

Get Social: Join Me! Programming Note: IBBB decided to take a break from Real Housewives of OC recaps, as Peggy’s penis scares me.  Plus, we still have RHONY and don’t forget Real Housewives of New Jersey starts next month, so stay calm.  I thought I’d give Oddy Pats a try and see how it goes. […]

I Can’t Believe Audrina’s Mother is This Drunk and, Like, Lauren’s Not Even Here!

Join Me on Facebook! Well once again the sweet baby Jesus and his teen mom, Mary, have shown me that they do indeed exist and are sort of speaking to me in foreign tongues through Audrina Patridge’s mom who is not only a drunk skunk sporting some beaver teeth of her own, but should absolutely […]

Hey There God. How Are You? Good? Good, I’m Glad. Listen, I Need a Favor. Is There Any Way, Please, That You Can Make Sure That Audrina’s Stalker Becomes a Permanent Character on “The Hills.” Thank You!

Audrina has a stalker who, surprisingly, isn’t me.  Zachary Loring, allegedly, has been stalking Teefs Pats and ended up trying to get into her Hollywood home.  Such a rookie mistake.  Everyone knows that the way to Audrina’s heart is through her teef!  Duh!? When Loring tried to pleas guilty the Judge and Loring’s own attorney […]

Teefs Pats Does FHM

Oh that Audrina!  That chilly water really makes her teef pop!  And I have to admit, stuffing Enzo into her bikini top really works for her.  I mean, on Heidi it makes her look like two marbles trying to make it through a straw, but on Audrina is balances her out….and by “balances her out” […]

Audrina Patridge and the Tale of the Dentist Trip

The Lucille Ball of our generation, Audrina Patridge (also known in some circles as “Teefs Pats” not to be confused with her sister “Tats Pats”) was showing off the good old beaver….teeth whist she left her dentist appointment right outside of Los Angeles yesterday.  Personally I think she should have to pay a double co-pay […]

I Dream of Teefie?

  Do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do do. Bum bum bum bum bum!  Odd that Oddrina would skankify her Halloween costume.  Audrina dressed as “I Dream of TeefieJeanie” as she hosted the “I Dream of Jeanie” Halloween party in Atlantic […]

With the Heat in LA, I'm Sure Heidi's Outfit Smells Like the Basement of a Church

  Ah yes, two of America’s sweethearts, Audrina Patridge and Heidi Montag, filmed scenes for an upcoming episode of this little show known as “The Hills” in LA yesterday.  Audrina, playing the role of the beaver-toofed-dead-eyed whore stands and listens to Heidi as the cameras roll.  I will only assume that Heidi is telling her […]

There May Be a Problem When Audrina is the Fat One

Stephanie Pratt is apparently on day 100 of her “Tour of Anorexia.”  You know there’s a bit of a problem in the food department when Audrina is now the fat one on the show.   I mean, pull out Audrina’s two front teef and she appears to still weigh a good 25 pounds more than Stephanie.  […]

Audrina, a National Treasure

Audrina Patridge, the Meryl Streep of our generation, was stopped by the papa-paparazzi on Sunset Boulevard over the weekend.  Since Audrina is typically camera shy she decided to let the paps know that her rack was “this many months old.”  She’s so precious.  It was rumored that she did boom boom in her skinny jeans […]

Happy Belated Birthday, Audrina

Happy belated birthday, Audrina!  I’m secretly hoping this is the face you’ll be using as you renew your drivers license.  I’m also thinking of using it as my license photo.  If Audrina knows that she’s going to be photographed and, 9 times out of 10, she has that “look” in her eyes, why not just always […]

Teefs and Tats Night Out!

  Me gusta when Teefs and Tats Patridge head out for a night on the town!  To me, these two are like the sluttier and toothier Olsen Twins.  Is that a word?  Sluttier?  It is.  Toothier is too.  I’m adding both to the dictionary…and the almanac…just because.  Anydeadeyes, Teefs and Tats Pats were all beaver […]

You Know How Toilets Flush Backwards in Australia?

  So you know how toilets flush backwards in Australia than they do in the America of the United States of the America of the US?  I wonder if Audrina’s ceiling eyes become more “basement eyes?”  I feel like this is a great question. I hope that d-bag that’s with her (who isn’t Justin Bobby) […]

Audrina "Teefs" Patridge Gets Her Own Reality Show, World Implodes

Don’t call it a comeback, she’s been here for years.  Stick some toothpicks in your eyes and breakout the teeth whitener because Teefs Pats has just scored her very own reality show with Mark Burnett Productions. Sweet!  Just another reason for other countries to hate us!  Audrina’s show, which I hope will be called something […]

The Hills Gang Goes to Hawaii! I Hope They Return the Tiki to Professor Whitehead!

Bonus points to whoever got my joke in the title and by “bonus points” I mean “imaginary nothings.” For those of you, like me, who are are trying to fill the void in your lives ever since The Hills has been on hiatus, well do I have the perfect fix for you!  It’s two parts […]

…In Other News…

What in the holy F is up with Audrina’s face?  Something is different and I can’t put my finger (giggity) on it.  Is she dipping into the Heidi Montag plastic surgery fund? Eh, Audrina was at the Grammy Awards last night and, well, I wasn’t…because that makes sense.  In other news… ~ Check Out the Coraline […]

Audrina's Penis Can Barely Breathe!

Your favorite teef transporter, Audrina from The Hills, was filming scenes for season 5 of The Hills at Beso restaurant in LA the other night. While she is all smiles (and I mean that literally) it appears that Audrina’s penis is being restrained. There. I said it. I don’t care. It’s Friday. I’m tired. It […]

Audrina's New Teeth?? I Guess Santa IS Real!

Filed down teeth are the new boob jobs. You’ve heard it here first. Trend alert! A hard working IBBB reader, Lady T, alerted me of a rumor spreading across the web like Paris Hilton’s legs on a Saturday night. The rumor is, in fact, about Audrina’s teeth. Did she file them down or didn’t she? […]

Teef and Tats Patridge Hit the MGM Grand Pool

Luck be a dead-eyed lady tonight! Teef and Tats Patridge hosted the Bombay Sapphire event at the Wet Republic pool at the MGM Grand in Vegas over the weekend. What a real treat it must have been for the guests by the pool to experience double the Audrina for 4 whole hours. Audrina hosted this […]

So Who Saw That “Hills” Recap 16 Times Over the Weekend?

Anyone see that Top 10 Hills Moments on MTV over the weekend? Obviously it’s not scenes that we haven’t seen 15 times, but this time around they had some people commentating on the episodes. This is what I would like to talk about. Seriously? Where did they get some of these people and why were […]

Oh I’m Sorry, You’re Not Justin Bobby

Seriously what kind of crap is Teefs Patridge trying to pull on me. Audrina and her “friend” were walking hand in hand outside of the Rainbow Room just yesterday. Uh, Audrina? It’s 2 more sleeps until The Hills starts up again, you think it would be possible to hang out a little with Justin Bobby. […]