More Mindless Stories on ‘ashley olsen’

Uh, I’m Sorry. That’s Not Comet!

You know, you think you know someone.  Mary-Michelle-Ashley-Kate-Tanner-Gibbler-Olsen was taking a munchkin-like walk the other day in 90 degree New York City with her new dog, a French Bulldog puppy, who is definitely not Comet.  How rude!

Seriously, she better have thrown her popsicle stick bird house on the kitchen floor the way she did when she heard Papouli died, after Comet peaced-out of her life.  I mean, that friggin dog gave her some of the best years of her life and this is how she repays him?  Like this!?

You know what, Michelle?  I’m pissed.  That dumb dog was going to teach me a great dance that I could show off to my class just like Papouli was going to teach you.  And you know what else?  Uncle Jesse isn’t here to step in and save the day for me like he did you.  And you know what else?  Oopa!  That’s what else.  I tell ya, 2 bitches.  Geesh.

My Mail-Order Olsen Bride Finally Arrived!

They promised me 5-7 business days, but my mail-order Olsen bride actually arrived on my doorstep in 3 business days, which was a refreshing surprise.  I haven’t been able to tell, yet, if this indistinguishable Olsen is alive or dead but, frankly, it doesn’t matter.  We’ve been running lines from some of my favorite Full House episodes and she even let me put her in a shopping carriage and sing “Lollipops and Gummi Bears are My Favorite Treat” 4 times in a row the other day.  She even let’s me bend her thumbs up and says, “You got it, dude” while I clap and squeal with delight.  I love my little Olsen bride.

Mary-Michelle-Ashley-Kate-Gibbler-Tanner-Olsen was all “walking corpse” on the red carpet at the 3rd Annual Art of Elysium Gala in Beverly Hills (90210) over the weekend.  She apparently had Ant Becky’s Elvis inspired wedding dress taken in 3 sizes and painted blood onto her lips to really make the entire outfit pop.  I’m actually looking for some ropes around her a la “Weekend at Bernie’s.”

Breaking: An Indistinguishable Olsen Running

Like a horse running from a barn fire, Mary-Michelle-Ashley-Kate-Gibbler-Tanner-Olsen went for a little jog in and around the Hollywood Hills just the other day to kick off a nice and healthy lifestyle for the new year.  She was jogging with her reported boyfriend, Justin Bartha, but I decided to not show those pictures, as I like my Olsen’s alone or strictly with each other.

The indistinguishable Olsen sported some black hightops, tight black spandex-like pants, and Uncle Jesse’s ripped flannel shirt that he used to wear when his name was originally Jesse Cochran and he worked as a pest control employee.  You didn’t think I remembered that, did you?

My Own Personal Two-Headed Olsen Monster! Just In Time for the Holidays!

 I do believe in Two-Headed Olsen Monsters!  I do believe in Two-Headed Olsen Monsters! I DO believe!  Indistinguishable Olsen’s were all creeptastic smiles and bug-eyed glares whilst they attended the NYC premiere of “Nine” at the Ziegfeld Theatre last night.  So I’m almost certain that the Olsen Monster on the left snuck into Aunt Becky’s closet and stole her “Wake Up San Francisco” wardrobe and the Olsen Monster on the right glued all of the wigs that John Stamos had to wear while he played Uncle Jesse’s cousin “Stavros” together and made it into a Stavros coat of horror.  But, well, I could be wrong.  Doubtful though.

What ever happen to the cute little Olsen’s?  You remember the cute little Olsen’s, right?  Like the time when Mary-Michele-Ashley-Kate-Tanner-Gibbler-Olsen was sitting in a shopping cart and being pushed around the set of Danny Tanner’s 24-hour telethon by DJ while she sang “Lollipops and Gummibears are my favorite treats….”  Imagine that scene with the Olsen Monster on the right in that shopping cart?  Yowza!  It looks like the Olsen Monster on the left should be pushing that shopping cart….with all kinds of junk in it….and talking to herself….and living under a bridge…..and selling her coochie for meth money…and hot dogs!

Anyyougotitdude, check out some more creepy Olsen photos below.  If you print out these pictures and tape them to your wall, the Olsen eyes follow you as you walk by.  I, um, er…uh, I heard that.  I don’t know for sure.  I gotta go.

Uh-Oh! Looks Like Little Michelle Tanner Got Into Aunt Becky’s Stuff Agaaaaain!

An indistinguishable Olsen was all “creepy face” as she attended the Tim Burton Tribute at the Museum of Modern Art in New York City the other night.  If Papouli was still alive and knew that his little Michelle was rummaging around in Aunt Becky’s personal makeup collection (from Walgreens) he would be rolling over in his grave.  Oopa!  On the other hand I think it’s outstanding that in today’s tough economic climate even the Olsen Skanks can show how they’re trying to make the best of these tough times by utilizing Kimmy Gibbler’s old wardrobe.  Recycle and pay it forward.  That’s not only the Olsen Way, it’s the American Way. God bless you Mary-Michelle-Kate-Ashely-Tanner-Gibbler-Olsen, bless you.