More Mindless Stories on ‘ashlee simpson’
Apr
09
09
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz Are Dating. I Officially Had a Shot.
It has been rumored officially 4,562 times that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are dating. Since I am an award winning (award to be determined) journalist I waited for one more instance of these two together before I “reported” on it. Ashlee and Pete were hand and hand (that’s how you catch chlamydia I think) while they were leaving Parc just the other night. People were surprised that they were holding hands in front of all the paparazzi. Do I care about any of this? Nope. I’m pissed actually. If this is true, I think I really would have a shot with Ashlee. Oh, and I’m not talking about the old Ashlee that looked like a Fraggle had dry-humped her head. I’m talking about the new nose and chin Ashlee or as I like to call her “the better Ashlee.” I’ve really learned my lesson about being superficial. Oh, and I don’t mean that I learned “not to be superficial.” I have learned that even if the chick isn’t that hot, but is rich you should totally date her because there’s always a chance you can talk her into some sort of plastic surgery. Sometime life teaches you some really tough lessons. However, my friends, you are never to old to learn. You may be too ugly to learn, but never too old. Words of wisdom from IBBB, words of wisdom.
Mar
14
14
Ryan Phillippe Mocks the Poor & Starving
Ryan Phillippe mocks the poor and starving children of the world by throwing half eaten hamburgers at them. Either that, or he’s trying to help them by literally giving them his food. That’s nice. Actually Ryan was being photographed by X17 Online when he lost his shiz-nit and threw his hamburger (rather poorly) at one of the photographers. Maybe he was just sharing?
There have been rumors that Ryan and Ashlee Simpson have been hooking up recently after they both were forced to sit next to each other at Les Deux, the LA club, earlier this month. The two apparently hit it off and an random drunken source said, “Ashlee was really excited, you could tell she had a huge crush on him.”
Hopefully if this is true Ashlee likes hamburgers being thrown at her face. Something tells me that she does.
Mar
07
07
Ashlee Simpson Continues to Sing
Posted by IBBB
ashlee simpson 
Ashlee Simpson won’t be waving the white flag anytime soon, as she is in the process of working on a new album. Do people still say “album?” I do. Now that Ashlee has a new look (i.e nose and chin) don’t expect her to sing what she was singing before and don’t expect her to dress like an a-hole like she did before either. Ashlee has said, “I’m from Texas, I come from that background [soulful style music]. It’s cool because on my last two records I was writing with the same people and now I’m writing with a bunch of different people.”
Yeah, let me translate that for everyone. Ashlee is now smokin’ hot which means she is dropping her old sound, her old writing crew, and is upgrading the hell out of everything relating to her hot new look. Say goodbye to the “ho-down” and please welcome the “ho-up.” I don’t know that that actually means, but it’s always nice to be able to use the word “ho” in a sentence.
Ashlee is hoping to release this new album around October 2007.
Is it bad if I say that I’ll probably like her new music now that she looks better? Shallow is a great place to be.
Feb
20
20
Ashlee Simpson: Officially a Pilgrim
Posted by IBBB
ashlee simpson 
With Thanksgiving 9-months away, Ashlee Simpson wastes no time with her tribute to the pilgrims. In actual Ashlee Simpson news, Ashlee continues to make choices that may cause an increase in the deafening of Americans and citizens of the world. Ashlee had to recently turn down the role of Meryl Streep’s daughter in the film version of the ABBA musical “Mama Mia” because she is too busy recording her new album that she will be lipsynching to soon. Oh, and bonus points for digging deep in the joke bag for a good old “Ashlee Simpson lipsynching joke.”
This really is like “Sophie’s Choice” for Ashlee. I have to say her turning down the film is a real win for movie go’ers everywhere, but working on a new album is a major blow to music listeners everywhere. This, my friends, is what I call a “catch 22.” Now, I don’t use that phrase in the correct way, but either way someone is getting the shiz end of the stick. Wait, is that called a “crap shoot?” Either way, Ashlee should only be photographed and never listened to. I’m just kidding (no I’m not). Ashlee, call me. Just kidding (no I’m not). You can sing and act all you want (no you can’t).
Feb
06
06
Reason 768 Why Ashlee is Hotter
Posted by IBBB
ashlee simpson 
While most people have been losing count of the number of reasons why Ashlee Simpson is hotter than Jessica Simpson…not me! I’ve been keeping a handy-dandy Excel spreadsheet and even incorporated a pie chart, graph, and even some formulas. When you click on “ok” it tallies up the number. Today is reason # 768 why Ashlee Simpson is hotter than Jessica: Her hair isn’t orange, her face isn’t orange, her eyebrows aren’t orange, etc. I still love how as soon as Ashlee got the nose job and “chin work” she totally dropped her dark goth look. I love people who sell out. I don’t even mean that in a bad way. I’d sell out in a minute.
Ashlee was spotted leaving Mexicali Cocina Cantina the other day. How do I know that? Well, not only did I guess, but I read the sign and in the background.
