More Mindless Stories on ‘arrested’
Dec
05

Skanky McSkankface, Debra Lafave, was arrested again! You may remember Debra Lafave for being charged with having “the sex” with an underage student a year or so ago. Well she plead guilty to lewd behavior with a teenage boy and was on probation and told not to have contact with anyone under the age of 18 years old. Poor little Debbie Lafake just couldn’t help herself and had been speaking with a 16-year old co-worker many times about family problems, friends, high school, boyfriends, and sex sex sex. Pervert. So Debbie got arrested for it. Debra has already been booked and released. We’ll see what happens, although I’m not too interested in the story. What I am more interested in is what in the hell kind of job does she have when her co-worker was 16 years old? Wasn’t she a teacher? The only time you’re working with a 16 year old is if you work at the following places: Walgreens, Papa Gino’s, McDonalds, and any SuperMarket. So which one was it? Someone research this.
Debra Lafave Arrested, Again
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Nov
05

Move over Britney, Lindsay, Paris, Nicole, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Kid Rock, Da Brat, Mel Gibson, Nick Nolte, OJ Simpson (2007), and countless others because there’s fresh prison meet on the block. Shia LaBeouf was arrested on Sunday morning for allegedly being intoxicated and not wanting to leave a Walgreens in Chicago because, apparently, that’s illegal. The security guard has asked Shia to leave Walgreens around 2:30 am and when he wouldn’t leave the security guard detained him until the real police arrived and put him in cuffs. Wait a second. The security guard detained him? Aren’t they live Mall Parking Lot Police? You don’t have to listen to them do you? And where in Walgreens would you be detained, actually? Perhaps they lock you behind the photo lab? Perhaps they store you away in the pharmacy? Perhaps I’ll just use the word “perhaps.”
Regardless, the real police said that Shia was very “polite and courteous” and had posted bail before 7:30 AM. Too Shia Shia was charged with misdemeanor criminal trespassing along with 1 count of “who the hell wants to stay at a Walgreens?” He’ll be in court on Nov 28th. I’m not what the outcome will be, but I believe if found guilty Shia could face up to life in prison. Yeah, let’s go with that.
Shia LaBeouf Arrested
Sep
17
I think that “horribly tragic and not funny at all” t-shirt that I once got that said, “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas” was incorrect. I seriously hate it when my t-shirts lie to me. It’s very disrespectful. Anyway, OJ Simpson was just arrested in Las Vegas by Las Vegas police (go figure) for investigation into alleged armed robbery at a hotel in Las Vegas. However, no one is really clear on the charges. I just assumed they’re trying to still get him with murder charges, but we’ll see.
Technically, do you really need to be “armed” to be OJ Simpson and to rob someone? I’d think that just having OJ break into your place with a bag of feathers and glitter would be horrifying enough. I’d just pretend to already be dead. That, my friends, is why it’s always important to carry ketchup packets with you. You never know when you’ll need to play a stab victim. You just never know. Words to live by. Do what you will with it.
Who Said That!?!
OJ Simpson Arrested in Vegas, Baby!
Jul
27
Car chases. Booze. Fire-crotch. Racism. While it sounds like a summer blockbuster, it is allegedly what took place just minutes before and during the Lindsay No Pants arrest. Ok, so this is a long story and, frankly, I don’t feel like typing it all out so I will quickly recap and then you can check out the story in it’s entirety at
TMZ.com (click here).
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Monday night, Lindsay hopped in a car with three guys (Dante Nigro, Jakon Sutter, and Ronnie Blake).
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The guys got invited to a party in Malibu (not at Promises) with Lindsay.
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Dante and Lindsay’s assistants boyfriend were let into the party (the other two dudes weren’t). Dante claims Lindsay was never without a drink and even did a shot with her. Cheers!
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Lindsay and her assistant got into a fight and her assistant quit and Lindsay went nuts.
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The assistant hopped in a car and took off. Lindsay then jumped in the car that they guys were in and started driving.
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When Lindsay hit the gas Ronnie was so frightened that he jumped out of the car while it was going and Lindsay ran over his foot (awesome).
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Lindsay was going upwards of 100 mph on the Pacific Coast Highway and Lindsay said, “I can’t get in trouble. I’m a celebrity. I can do whatever the f*ck I want.” (karma)
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Finally, the chase ended and the cops gave Lindsay a sobriety test, to which she failed. When she tried touching her nose she almost fell over.
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Allegedly Lindsay then tried to convince police that “the black kid was driving.” Awww that’s sweet.
Is she kidding with that? First Mel Gibson, then Michael Richards, and now Lindsay Lohan. Let me ask you, are you supposed to be racist if you’re famous and intoxicated. Does this have something to do with Scientology?
Jul
24
Just when I thought that Lindsay could sneak a drink since Britney was being all crazy, it now appears that Lindsay No Pants was arrested AGAIN early this morning in Santa Monica for drunk driving. What in the hell happened to her “Alcohol Ankle Braclet?” Maybe she bought it from
The Harriet Carter Catalog?
Rumors are already starting that some coke was found in the car too. She must have one of those cards where every time you get arrested you get your card stamped. If you achieve 4 arrests you get one “get out of jail free” card.
Oh Lindsay, you crazy little minx. They should just put you down and call it a day. Back to Promises!
As more developments arise I will update you….a day later.
Who Said This!?!