More Mindless Stories on ‘anna nicole’
Posted by IBBB
You wantsomemoney? You likemybody? Want a Viper? I can almost hear the ghost of Anna Nicole Smith saying that on a constant loop in my head upwards of 4 days per week. Anyway, bad news for dead Anna Nicole. She won’t be getting her hands on her ex-husband’s oil money, so says a Federal Appeals Court.
If you recall, Anna Nicole was in a messy 15 year court battle between the Marshall family over hundreds of millions of dollars. I mean, who doesn’t remember seeing Anna Nicole on the witness stand fake crying and saying “Screw you, Rusty” while she wiped away “tears.”
Now that the court ruled Anna Nicole’s estate won’t be getting any money I’ll just assume that Virgie will have to fall back on her career of being a female Chris Farley impersonator. I’m sure that’s lucrative. Screw you, Rusty!
Posted by IBBB
No joke they could have made a better movie if they used the actual dead bodies of Anna Nicole and Daniel and made their arms and hands move by pulling strings. Think “Weekend at Bernie Part 5.” So in case you couldn’t get enough of the “story of Anna Nicole” you can now watch it all over again with a whole new cast of characters thanks to FOX! So who plays who, you ask?
- Willa Ford plays Anna Nicole Smith
- Patrick Ryan Anderson plays Daniel
- Richard Herd plays Howard Marshall II
- Chris Delvin plays Howard K Stern
- Bobby Trendy plays Bobby Trendy
I think I knew only one of those people. Boring. Here’s who I would have cast:
- The mother from “Family Matters” plays Anna Nicole
- Either Nicki or Alex from Full House plays Daniel
- Judge Wapner plays Howard Marshall II
- Quagmire from Family Guy plays Howard K Stern
- Margaret Cho plays Bobby Trendy
And I’m pissed that “Kimmy” was never cast. Therefore I would cast:
Screw you Rusty!
Who Said That!?!
Who Wants to See Anna Nicole Die Again?
Breaking News: The DNA results are in an Larry Birkhead is the father of Anna Nicole’s daughter, Dannielynn. Larry actually said, “I told you so!” Seriously, 10 year-olds say that. Brilliant!
We’re sorry to have to say this, Howard K. Stern, but you are no longer in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top Anna Nicole Baby Daddy. You must immediately return to the house and pack your belongings and leave.
According to recent statements, Howard K. Stern has claimed that he will not challenge custody of Dannielynn. No word yet if Virgie Arthur will be bringing her camera crew with her to IHOP.
Posted by IBBB
So folks today is the day we find out who is still in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top Anna Nicole Baby Daddy. The DNA results are in today so we should be finding out if Howard K Stern or Larry Birkhead or Virgie Arthur is the father of Anna Nicole’s daughter. So you know what that means? By the time I get around to finding out the results of the DNA test and actually report on it, it will be 2 day old news. That’s right, my friends, award winning journalism over here at IBBB. Award winning journalism.
Posted by IBBB
If (in the voice of Maury Povich) Howard K. Stern finds out he is not the father of Anna Nicole’s baby he will not fight whomever the real father is. As a side note, did you guys know that Anna Nicole was no longer alive? I just heard that the other day, but haven’t been able to confirm the story. I’ll let you know as soon as I hear.
According to some random drunken sources and my friends over at TMZ
(they don’t know me), “If Larry Birkhead is confirmed to be Dannielynn’s biological father, Howard will not challenge custody. His love for her will not change, irrespective of the results. Howard will act in Dannielynn’s best interest, because he loves her and would want a smooth transition to protect her as she is deeply bonded to those who have been with her since birth.”
Yeah, I’m not so much if she is deeply bonded to those who have been with her or if she is deeply addicted to methadone. What? I’m just saying.
The results from the paternity test will be ready on Tuesday. Both Howard K Stern, Larry Birkhead, and Virgie “the Virgin” Arthur are all expected to be in attendance. Who is not expected to be in attendance? Anna Nicole Smith. Go figure.
What I really want to know is what happens when this is over? This won’t be the “end end” will it? Can’t they toss any other random situations at us? I’m hoping that none of these dudes are the baby daddies. I’d like to see the second string of possibilities. Let’s toss Bob Barker’s name in the ring.