More Mindless Stories on ‘anna nicole’
22
Bad News. Dead Anna Nicole Smith Won’t Be Getting Any of Howard Marshall’s Money. How Will She Survive? Oh, Wait.
You wantsomemoney? You likemybody? Want a Viper? I can almost hear the ghost of Anna Nicole Smith saying that on a constant loop in my head upwards of 4 days per week. Anyway, bad news for dead Anna Nicole. She won’t be getting her hands on her ex-husband’s oil money, so says a Federal Appeals Court.
If you recall, Anna Nicole was in a messy 15 year court battle between the Marshall family over hundreds of millions of dollars. I mean, who doesn’t remember seeing Anna Nicole on the witness stand fake crying and saying “Screw you, Rusty” while she wiped away “tears.”
Now that the court ruled Anna Nicole’s estate won’t be getting any money I’ll just assume that Virgie will have to fall back on her career of being a female Chris Farley impersonator. I’m sure that’s lucrative. Screw you, Rusty!
30
Who Wants to See Anna Nicole Die Again?
No joke they could have made a better movie if they used the actual dead bodies of Anna Nicole and Daniel and made their arms and hands move by pulling strings. Think “Weekend at Bernie Part 5.” So in case you couldn’t get enough of the “story of Anna Nicole” you can now watch it all over again with a whole new cast of characters thanks to FOX! So who plays who, you ask?
- Willa Ford plays Anna Nicole Smith
- Patrick Ryan Anderson plays Daniel
- Richard Herd plays Howard Marshall II
- Chris Delvin plays Howard K Stern
- Bobby Trendy plays Bobby Trendy
I think I knew only one of those people. Boring. Here’s who I would have cast:
- The mother from “Family Matters” plays Anna Nicole
- Either Nicki or Alex from Full House plays Daniel
- Judge Wapner plays Howard Marshall II
- Quagmire from Family Guy plays Howard K Stern
- Margaret Cho plays Bobby Trendy
And I’m pissed that “Kimmy” was never cast. Therefore I would cast:
- Janet Reno plays Kimmy
Screw you Rusty!
10
Larry Birkhead is the Father
Breaking News: The DNA results are in an Larry Birkhead is the father of Anna Nicole’s daughter, Dannielynn. Larry actually said, “I told you so!” Seriously, 10 year-olds say that. Brilliant!10
It’s DNA Baby Daddy Day!
09
Howard K Stern Chickens Out
What I really want to know is what happens when this is over? This won’t be the “end end” will it? Can’t they toss any other random situations at us? I’m hoping that none of these dudes are the baby daddies. I’d like to see the second string of possibilities. Let’s toss Bob Barker’s name in the ring.
