Happy Friday and welcome back to everyone’s favorite lazy segment called “This Time Last Year.” This Time Last Year will take a brief look at what was going on in the celebrity world…this time last year (go figure). Oh, and also I’m lazy so this is pretty easy to do on a Friday. Here’s what was going on with Angelina Jolie…this time last year…

I think we may have precisely pinpointed the exact moment when Angelina Jolie decided she was over her “charity work.” Maybe she should stop adopting kids from all over the world and start spending money fixing peoples teeth. Seriously lady, get “Invisalign” or something. If not, stop smiling or stop doing the “ugly cry” or whatever it is you’re doing. It doesn’t look pretty in pictures.

Anyway, Angelina hauled ass to Iraq and listened to people bitch at a refugee camp. Actually that is pretty nice. I don’t want to be mean or anything, but this lady shouldn’t be complaining so much. I mean, how big can her problems be? There’s a war in Iraq. Oh wait.

www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack

Jackpot! According to Us Weekly, who have taken a week off from blowing the cast of The Hills, Brad and Angelina are giving $1 million to kids affected by the war! Finally the war is working in my favor! I have no idea what I’m going to spend the on, but I know it’s going to be on something big like a kegerator or something. I deserve it as I am affected by the war. The war has really ruined my television viewing experience since every time I turn it on there’s always another story about it. Blah blah, Osama bin Laden….blah blah blah, oil…..blah, blah, blah Baghdad Bob. Enough. Now give me my money!

Oh wait, there’s one stipulation I guess. I must be a child living in Iraq. Ugh. I knew I should have moved once they took Laguna Beach off the air. The Jolie-Pitt Foundation will give $500K to Iraqi kids and $500K to American kids who lost a parent while fighting in Iraq or just have a parent who is currently in Iraq. If I ship my dad off for a “vacation” to Iraq does that count? I’m just kidding, dad, there is no vacation planned for you.

Source It Up!

There may be some financial troubles for the Jolie-Pitt’s because it looks like they’re getting more kids the old-fashioned way….by making them. Sources close to Angelina (and my eyes) are telling us that Angelina and Brad are expecting a new baby and they are “very, very happy.”

Uh-oh, way to rain on J. Lo’s parade. How dare Angelina try to trump the baby news of Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx!

Angie and Bradly were all waxy smiles on the red carpet at the Independent Spirit Awards over the weekend and Angeluney made sure to pose to the side so that everyone could see and take pictures of the human that was growing inside her stomach. It’s great that they’ve adopted in the past and it’s also nice that they have kids by “making sexy” in the bedroom. They really are a well-rounded couple. I also don’t know what that means.

Poor Jennifer Aniston. She’s just trying to get a date to bring her to Easter Dinner, nevermind a 4th kid.

If Angelina really is pregnant again I’m going to seriously be pissed. I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting…and waiting and then when I was done waiting I’ve waited some more to be adopted by Angelina Jolie. Sorry Ma and Dad I know you are my parents and stuff, but I’m ready to upgrade to Angelina Jolie to be both my mother and my father. It’s nothing personal, it’s just about continuing my plan to “Sell Out in Year 2″ of IBBB.

This latest picture of Angelina Jolie walking around Venice with her son/daughter “What’s Its Face” and looking like she may be “with child.” I mean she doesn’t look as much like she’s pregnant as she does look like she may have just had a beer. She better not be pregnant. I am totally next in line to be adopted. Don’t worry I’ll still blog, but I’ll be waaaaay more rich.

I think we may have precisely pinpointed the exact moment when Angelina Jolie decided she was over her “charity work.” Maybe she should stop adopting kids from all over the world and start spending money fixing peoples teeth. Seriously lady, get “Invisalign” or something. If not, stop smiling or stop doing the “ugly cry” or whatever it is you’re doing. It doesn’t look pretty in pictures.

Anyway, Angelina hauled ass to Iraq and listened to people bitch at a refugee camp. Actually that is pretty nice. I don’t want to be mean or anything, but this lady shouldn’t be complaining so much. I mean, how big can her problems be? There’s a war in Iraq. Oh wait.

Well they had a nice run, but the Jolie-Pitt kids are being shipped back to their homeland. Ok fine, so Shiloh is from here, but Pax and/or Maddox (is that the same person?) is definitely heading back home. More than likely they’re picking up Madonna’s kid on their “ride home” since the celebrity trend of adopting a kid from a random country is officially over. Of course I jest, Angelina and crew are on the “S.S We’re Rich” and are having a great old time wearing pants on a boat while in Chicago. Angelina should smarten up an put on her own life vest too. It’s the same thing as being on an airplane and securing YOUR oxygen mask first before assisting others. Jeeeze. It’s all fun and games with that one.

Angelina Jolie and her son Maddox (which is Vietnamese for “you are now a rich kid”) were doing a little book-learnin’ while they were at Borders in Chicago over the weekend. Is it just me or is it the more weight Angelina loses the more she looks like Anne Curry from The Today Show. She totally does and you know it. Hopefully there are some “self help” books in that bag so that Angelina Jolimia can put on a few extra pounds. Wait, unless she’s in the middle of filming for “Philadelphia 2.” That’s always a possibility. I also hope that Maddox gets a haircut before going to school in September. Nobody likes a little punk.

The mother of Angelina Jolie’s (bless yourself) adopted son, Pax, is now coming forward to get her 15 minutes of fame. “Boy’s Mother” was a tragic heroin addict who left her newborn at a Vietnamese hospital when he was just two days old. Some say “tragedy,” I say “jackpot.” I’m sure this little kid is psyched he’s no longer living in poverty and wearing tissue boxes for shoes and now has Angelina Jolie has a mom and is crazy rich.

“Boy’s Mother” (Pham Thu Dung – exactly) has told reporters that she never signed the adoption papers, but will not try to get her son back. “Boy’s Mother” will also not try to get money from Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt even though she is poor. “Boy’s Mother” would like to tell her son “sorry” that she had to give him away.

Yeah, nice try “lady.” You may say you don’t want money now, but just wait when you see the house that you kid lives in. You’ll pull a “Boy’s Father” before you know it and will be hitchhiking to LA to visit your new friends “Angelina” and “Brad.” Oh, and as a side note “Boy’s Mother” is a heroin addict. That’s sweet. She should try selling drugs to kids in order to get out of poverty. I heard that works.

According to Multiple Persons Magazine the adoption is officially official for Angelina Jolie. Official. Angelina adopted her 3-year old Vietnamese son and named him “Pax Thien Jolie.” What in the hell does that mean, you ask? Pax Thien means “peaceful sky.” Jolie and PaxMan will stay in Vietnam for about a week until PaxMan can get a passport.

I’m pissed. Angelina had another chance to adopt me and she passed up the opportunity. I already have my passport Angelina! Big mistake. Big mistake. I could have saved her like $60.00 in passport fees. Oh well, it’s too late now. No substitutions.

Angelina headed to the orphanage store early this morning to pick up her kid, but she was only with Maddox and not Brad Pitt. Angelina’s international advisor had said, “Brad very much wanted to be there but is under contract working on a film in Los Angeles and as a result couldn’t go.” Yeah whatever, you know he is sick of Angelina’s adoption addiction.

Oh well, good luck and congratulations. I’m tossing my name in the ring again when Angelina tries to adopt her 15th kid.

Angelina Jolie has recently said in an interview that she narrowly escaped kidnapping and ransom plot while she was traveling overseas performing her “do-gooding.” The plot to kidnap Angelina Jolie never came to fruition after the authorities had tipped her off. According to Angelina:

“It was in a small village, I won’t say where, or with whom, but some gangsters planned to kidnap me and extort a massive ransom. I was warned at the last minute, and managed to escape, luckily.”

You almost got away with it, Jennifer Aniston! Curses! Foiled again!

Angelina loves to visit the poor countries and help them as much as she can, by either donating her time, money, or adopting the children of these countries. Now don’t get the wrong idea about Angelina. She wants to make one thing clear. Angelina continued, “I don’t want to act like the Mother Teresa of Hollywood, but I want to help where there is poverty and destruction.”

Who Said Kidnap!?!

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are allegedly in the process of adopting, yet another, child. This time they are dipping into the kiddie-pool of Vietnam. A random source in Vietnam has told US Weekly that they have filed papers with the US Citizenship and Immigration services to adopt a boy from the Tam Binh orphanage in Ho Ch Minh City. Yeah, I don’t know that 4 of those words meant.

Oh one hand I say good for them. On the other hand I say we have plenty of kids here in the US that need adopting. On the other other hand I say why do I care what they do. It’s not like they asked me for permission. The point being, I have 3 hands. Why don’t they just do it the old-fashioned way? Wait, are they trying to form their very own United Nations? Hmmm, interesting. I’ll have to look into that.

In other Angelina Jolie news, it is rumored that she has dropped to 109 pounds (26 kilograms – I have no idea what it is in kilograms, but I’m trying to appeal to my international audience) as she has been grieving for her mom who passed away a few weeks ago. Another random source told US Weekly that, “She isn’t eating. She is very lonely and desperate to make new friends.” Jeeze, just buy stuff. Doesn’t money make you feel better? It would make me feel better. Give me some of that money and I’ll let you know.