More Mindless Stories on ‘amy winehouse’

How to Get That Winehouse Glow

Ever wanted to look as fresh and breezy as Amy Winehouse?  Not sure how to get that Winehouse look that graces the covers of countless magazines?  Well look no further because Amy is revealing just how to keep your look young, clean, and easy breezy.  Apparently the secret is cigarettes.  Whoever said these little sticks of heaven were a threat to your health were sadly mistaken.  And you know what’s better than just one cigarette?  Two cigarettes!  Use the second one to light the first and then hold onto the second so that you can quickly shove it into your mouth the moment the first one has turned completely to ash.

Amy Winehouse was sporting her Snooki “freakin’ poof” and JWoww ShamWow skunk streaks as she left a pub on Great Compton Street in the early morning hours in London.  She looks well rested so, well, that’s the most important thing.

For Some Reason Amy Winehouse Turned Herself Into Snooki

As if Amy Winehouse couldn’t hit tilt on the “Bat-Sh*t-Crazy-O-Meter” she actually has.  Leaving a court in Milton Keynes, England yesterday looking all Snooki-like orange with what I can only assume is a double-poof mixed in with a few of JWOWW’s skunk strands, Amy Winehouse plead guilty to charges of common assault and disorder.  These charges stemmed after WineWoww was accused of attacking a theatre manager after she was asked to leave a pantomime production of Cinderella back in December.  WineWoww then allegedly kicked the manager in the crotch and later turned herself in because, well, this is all the norm for both Amy and the entire cast of Jersey Shore.  Personally I think she’d make a nice addition to the cast.

Why does WineWoww always walk like a flamingo who’s ready to tip over due to the new weight of her rack-attack?

I Wasn’t Aware You Could Wrap Blood Stained Ballet Shoes. Guess You Can.

Merry Crystal Methmas!  I decided to do a little updating on Amy Winehouse when my sister casually asked me the other day if Amy Winehouse was dead yet.  When I told her she was still alive, her reply was, “Really?”  That pretty much ended the conversation.  Anycrackrock, Amy Winehouse sure was getting into the Christmas spirit by purchasing some wrapping paper in jolly ol’ London late last week.  What do you do if you receive a Christmas present from Amy Winehouse?  And what in the hell could she possibly buy for you?  I’m sure you would unwrap a stuffed animal wearing doctor scrubs, smoking a crackpipe, eating pumpkin pie, walking a Snoopy doll, eating a snow-cone, writing a novel, with its head burnt from a gasoline and Aqua Net mixed chemical cocktail, but, I mean, after getting that for the 3rd year in a row…it gets a little passe.

So a Horse and a Crackhead Walk Into a Bar…

Amy Winehorse (that actually was a legit typo, but, hell, I’m keeping it and calling her this from here on out) was out with a horse in St Lucia over the weekend.  I’m truly hoping that this is a sign that they’re bringing back “Circus of the Stars” and Winehorse will be either riding a horse on a 50 foot tight-rope 200 feet in the air….or she’ll be having a “teeth off” with the horse, which can actually be much more dangerous than the tight-rope.  Eh, but I digest.

Anymeth, this crap basically writes itself for me, which is always nice because I’m sometimes lazy and by “sometimes” I mean “all the live-long day.”

As a sidenote, every time I see Winehorse I always laugh now because the last time I posted something about her my sister asked me why Howard Stern is dressed like that.  Brilliant.

Now These are the Boobs of an Innocent Woman!

Amy Winehouse may be missing a toof or two, but that doesn’t stop her from perking up her rack-attack and heading out for a little shopping after she plead “innocent” to common assault charges in cloudy England.  I can’t even keep up with what Winehouse is and isn’t being charged with, but every once in a while it’s nice to see her dirty hair, pushed up boobs, and cracked-out makeup.  And I’m glad that I could bring a little Winehouse to brighten your day.  Well, that and it’s always nice to see when someone wears a bedspread from a Howard Johnson’s motel in Fort Myers, Florida.