More Mindless Stories on ‘amy winehouse’

How to Get That Winehouse Glow

Ever wanted to look as fresh and breezy as Amy Winehouse?  Not sure how to get that Winehouse look that graces the covers of countless magazines?  Well look no further because Amy is revealing just how to keep your look young, clean, and easy breezy.  Apparently the secret is cigarettes.  Whoever said these little sticks of heaven were a threat to your health were sadly mistaken.  And you know what’s better than just one cigarette?  Two cigarettes!  Use the second one to light the first and then hold onto the second so that you can quickly shove it into your mouth the moment the first one has turned completely to ash.

Amy Winehouse was sporting her Snooki “freakin’ poof” and JWoww ShamWow skunk streaks as she left a pub on Great Compton Street in the early morning hours in London.  She looks well rested so, well, that’s the most important thing.

For Some Reason Amy Winehouse Turned Herself Into Snooki

As if Amy Winehouse couldn’t hit tilt on the “Bat-Sh*t-Crazy-O-Meter” she actually has.  Leaving a court in Milton Keynes, England yesterday looking all Snooki-like orange with what I can only assume is a double-poof mixed in with a few of JWOWW’s skunk strands, Amy Winehouse plead guilty to charges of common assault and disorder.  These charges stemmed after WineWoww was accused of attacking a theatre manager after she was asked to leave a pantomime production of Cinderella back in December.  WineWoww then allegedly kicked the manager in the crotch and later turned herself in because, well, this is all the norm for both Amy and the entire cast of Jersey Shore.  Personally I think she’d make a nice addition to the cast.

Why does WineWoww always walk like a flamingo who’s ready to tip over due to the new weight of her rack-attack?

I Wasn’t Aware You Could Wrap Blood Stained Ballet Shoes. Guess You Can.

Merry Crystal Methmas!  I decided to do a little updating on Amy Winehouse when my sister casually asked me the other day if Amy Winehouse was dead yet.  When I told her she was still alive, her reply was, “Really?”  That pretty much ended the conversation.  Anycrackrock, Amy Winehouse sure was getting into the Christmas spirit by purchasing some wrapping paper in jolly ol’ London late last week.  What do you do if you receive a Christmas present from Amy Winehouse?  And what in the hell could she possibly buy for you?  I’m sure you would unwrap a stuffed animal wearing doctor scrubs, smoking a crackpipe, eating pumpkin pie, walking a Snoopy doll, eating a snow-cone, writing a novel, with its head burnt from a gasoline and Aqua Net mixed chemical cocktail, but, I mean, after getting that for the 3rd year in a row…it gets a little passe.

So a Horse and a Crackhead Walk Into a Bar…

Amy Winehorse (that actually was a legit typo, but, hell, I’m keeping it and calling her this from here on out) was out with a horse in St Lucia over the weekend.  I’m truly hoping that this is a sign that they’re bringing back “Circus of the Stars” and Winehorse will be either riding a horse on a 50 foot tight-rope 200 feet in the air….or she’ll be having a “teeth off” with the horse, which can actually be much more dangerous than the tight-rope.  Eh, but I digest.

Anymeth, this crap basically writes itself for me, which is always nice because I’m sometimes lazy and by “sometimes” I mean “all the live-long day.”

As a sidenote, every time I see Winehorse I always laugh now because the last time I posted something about her my sister asked me why Howard Stern is dressed like that.  Brilliant.

Now These are the Boobs of an Innocent Woman!

Amy Winehouse may be missing a toof or two, but that doesn’t stop her from perking up her rack-attack and heading out for a little shopping after she plead “innocent” to common assault charges in cloudy England.  I can’t even keep up with what Winehouse is and isn’t being charged with, but every once in a while it’s nice to see her dirty hair, pushed up boobs, and cracked-out makeup.  And I’m glad that I could bring a little Winehouse to brighten your day.  Well, that and it’s always nice to see when someone wears a bedspread from a Howard Johnson’s motel in Fort Myers, Florida.

I’m Like a Bird, I’ll Only Fly Away

Winehouse is a like a bird, she’ll only fly away. She don’t know where her syringe is, she don’t know where her crack home is.

Look Who’s Cuuuuuuuuured!

Seriously how is Amy Winehouse not dead yet? It’s people like her who live until their 93, but then some other schmuck tried pot for the first time and dies immediately.

Amy Winehouse was being gracious and greeting her neighbors in London with her father, Mitch, the other night. She was looking rested, peppy, easy, breezy, and beautiful. Maybe she’s born with it?

When Winehouse kicks the rusted bucket, I hope they don’t bury her. I hope they stuff her like they do with some beers when they die. I’d like to see a stuffed Winehouse propped up outside of her London home. Perhaps place a witches hat on her head during Halloween and a Santa hat on her head during Christmas. The possibilities are endless.

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Amy Winehouse is Bugs Bunny Hot

Amy Winehouse was waiting for a little pizza pizza outside of her recording studio in Henley, England yesterday looking like hot sex when this gem of a photo was taken. Ok not so much. However, Amy did remind me of when Bugs Bunny would dress up as a woman on Looney Tunes episodes. Let me tell ya a little something. Searching for Bugs Bunny in drag is an adventure in itself. There are some crazy ass people out there will some crazy ass websites and, well, I hope to make that list of crazy ass websites one day. Oh and after all the different searches I performed to try to find this Bugs Bunny picture, if anyone is keeping track of that on some database out there, I’m pretty sure I’m going to prison. Good day!

Bette Midler Looks Good, Thin

Wow, I don’t know what diet plan Bette Midler is on, but she’s looking great! I didn’t know she took up smoking, but maybe it helps control her hunger issues. Anyway, everyones favorite meth addicted Fraggle, Amy Winehouse, stopped off at the London Clinic (for a flea bath) and then she was rushed off for a light lunch (2 tic-tacs and 4 cigarettes) and then she visited her lawyers office. Basically, this was any ordinary day for Amy…very ho-hum.

Amy Winehouse Has Alyssa Milano Arms

There are no arguments here. Amy Winehouse is a beauty and, if in a different time, would most likely still be in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top Model. Typically I’m blinded by Winehouse’s bee-hive and this time I was initially side-tracked by her new beautiful blond hair. However, after playing a risky game of “Let’s Take Another Look at Amy Winehouse” I noticed that she has Alyssa Milano arms. Seriously that blond head hair really makes her thick black arm hair really pop! Why wouldn’t she wax that or even take a weed-wacker to it? Fine, it is Amy Winehouse so I’d even be fine with her using cigarettes to burn the hair off. Either way arm hair on a girl is nasty and, I believe, is something you can get the electric chair for in Louisiana.

…In Other News…

Amy Winehouse looks hot as a blond….I’d assume. She looks scary as a “yellow” though. Perhaps this is the result of her bee-hive bursting into flames? In other news…

~ Wait, Britney Was Insane? ~ PopBytes
~ Two Corey’s Are 5 Too Many ~ CelebritySmack
~ Sisterly Cruz Love ~ AgentBedHead
~ Sue Lohan, Win a Prize ~ POTP
~ Kiss Britney, Win a Disease! ~ NinjaDude
~ Tara Reid is A-Ok ~ Dlisted
~ Paula Goes Crazy? No. ~ Yeeeah
~ Amanda Bynes is Perv Free ~ FatBack

…In Other News…

Beautiful. Stunning. Amy Winehouse washed up on shore while she was vacationing in the Caribbean with her husband. I am a little disappointed that there aren’t pictures of Amy and her husband beating the bag out of each other. Sad day. In other news…

~ Which Simpson May Be Getting Their Own Talkshow? ~ AgentBedHead
~ Jenna Jameson Kisses Like a Porn Star ~ Yeeeah
~ Cameron Diaz in “What Happens in Vegas” ~ CelebritySmack
~ Wait, Sharon Stone is a Mother? ~ DirtyDisher
~ Paris Gives a Teddy Bear a STD ~ POTP
~ Backstreets Back in Hanes Sweatshirts! ~ DListed
~ Best and Worst Beach Bodies of 07 ~ PopBytes
~ Hilary Swank in a Bikini with Horse Teeth ~ DSF
~ Sheryl Crow with Ghost Boobs ~ NinjaDude
~ Wait, Is Sophia Bush a Teenager? ~ FatBack
~ J Wahl is Getting Hitched (Jessica on Suicide Watch) ~ MollyGood