More Mindless Stories on ‘ali lohan’
28
Ali Lohan Morphed Into My Childhood Hero!
In a time when your father is holding hourly press conferences with TMZ and your mother is heading to the 5-0 to get a family discount on restraining orders, I definitely think the best thing you can do to lay low from the media spotlight is paint on your eyebrows with a thick-point Sharpie and head out to get your picture taken! Ole!
Seriously, Ali Lohan looks like Gargamel, which according to my childhood is awesome. I kept a hold of my Gargamel stuffed animal like my life depended on it and brought him everywhere I went. That is….until that one day, that one terrible day that is barely talked about in the IBBB household…the day when I brought Gargamel with me to the supermarket and accidentally left him in the frozen food aisle….never to be seen or heard from AGAIN!
But enough about me and why things from my past make me certifiably crazy, Ali Lohan showed up at Millions of Milkshakes in Hollywood with her big sister, Shecky Lohan, and a torn sweater that we’ll just assume was ripped by Michael Lohan and/or karma whilst Ali tried to run away from it.
I think Ali looks great. And by “looks great” I mean “looks like she’s 5 testosterone shots away from sprouting a penis and dry humping Nana Lohan.”
28
When Did Lindsay and Ali Lohan Turn Into the Olsen Twins?
Like a fresh morning dew on a brand new day, Lindsay Lohan, Ali Lohan, and Ginger Lohan all took part in some holiday family bonding while at the Rangers game in NYC over the weekend. When I saw the first photo of all three “kids” yelling I assumed they were just around the Lohan family dinner table on Christmas, but then quickly realized that I had to be wrong as I typically picture Dina Lohan doing dances all around the table while spinning her extensions all over the dining room. The kids would laugh and cheer and Michael Lohan would be hiding right outside the window with a tape recorder, telescopic camera, and a production assistant from Inside Edition. Well that’s at least how I picture a Lohan family Christmas.
Anyfreckles, when in the F did Linds and Ali turn into the Olsen Twins? I’ll assume that would make the little brother, Schecky Olsen, yes?
14
Ali Lohan Sprouts Boobs
I’m sorry, it was wrong for me to say that Ali Lohan has sprouted boobs. What I should have said was Aliana Lohan has sprouted boobs. She should be called by her formal name at a time like this.
Us Weekly is trying to stir the white-trash-freckled-overly-tanned pot by doing a side-by-side comparison of Ali Lohan looking lite-breasted and then fully-breasted. Are they trying to say that Ali bought her rack? Either way this is the type of stuff that gets dirty old men arrested whilst on “To Catch a Predator.”
www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack
15
Dina Lohan is Like a Broken Record. A Blond Broken Record. A Blond Broken Record Who Dresses Like a Teenager With Fake Hair.
Alright. I love me some Dinasaur Lohan. Clearly. But is there any chance she can stop saying the same crap over and over (and over) again about why she did her reality show? The Dinasaur and Ali (who is obviously pushing retirement age) were on the CBS Early Show, which apparently is still on the air, to defend their reality show “Living Lohan.” Here’s what Dinasaur had to say (please read this with a deep, deep voice):
“The only reason why I did the show originally was to diffuse the rumors. The press for two years was really horrific on us. Ali is a talented artist. I have two sons as well who have nothing to do with the business. I think at that point, you know, there’s such a weird perception of Hollywood families and we’re so not like that. We’re just normal people.”
Good thinking, Dinasaur! Nothing gets you away from the press and the spotlight quite like being in a reality show and then going on a press tour. Brilliant!
Ali, on the other hand, stated that she wanted to do the show in order to prove to people that at 14 years old she did not have a nose job. No really. She said that. Is getting a show that easy these days because if it is I’m all in. I’m heading over to E! and pitching a reality show on this basis: “I want a show to prove to everyone that I do other things than blog.” I’m just kidding. I don’t do other things.
05
Dina Lohan Blows Off Bravo A List Awards
While the Bravo A-List Awards dragged on last night I began to wonder why I was still there. Then I hear the announcer say, “Ladies and gentlemen, Dina and Ali Lohan!” I perk up and psyched and actually say the words out loud, “I F’n love Dina.” There I said it. I said it. I own it. I’m fine with it. Then Kathy Griffin comes out shaking her head. No Dina? Nope. Kathy told us that the class act that is Dina Lohan called at 3:00 to cancel her appearance. The red carpet started at like 5 and the show started taping around 7:00. I was so disappointed there was no Dina and Ali, but then Kathy decided that since they weren’t there she was going to talk smack about them….and then did for about 5 minutes. It was great. They even placed placement card of Dina and Ali on chairs up in the front since they weren’t there.
