More Mindless Stories on ‘a-fraud’
I love strippers. I love Boston. I love smart strippers who speak in parables. I love strippers from Boston who are smart and speak in parables.
So have you heard what ex-stripper, Candice Houlihan, had to say to A-Rod’s wife? Well she was interviewed by the Boston Herald (which I believe is written by a 5th grade class) and not only discussed her affair with A-Fraud, but then offers some advice to Mrs. A-Fraud which was, “A leopard doesn’t change his spots.”
Wait. What? Since when do strippers speak in parables? She’s like, “A stitch in time saves 9.” Or better yet, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.”
Seriously this stripper chick should get her own advice column. Oh, and she should get back to stripping.
So you know it will take a lot for me to blog on the weekend. Typically, I never do it, unless there is just cause. Well, there is just cause. By this point you know of my love for the Red Sox and my “less than love” for the Yankees and A-Fraud. Sure last night the Yankees kicked our asses, but who cares? The Yankees are still 12.5 games behind us. It was everything BUT the game that was interesting. First off, I’d like to applaud the Boston fans for buying AND wearing masks that looked like blond chicks in honor of the recent A-Fraud scandal with the blond stripper. Seriously? Brilliant.
Absolutely brilliant. I also loved when A-Fraud tried catch a pop up and, what seemed like the entire park, yelled “I got it, I got it, I got it” just like A-Fraud did against the Blue Jays the other night. I love his tee-ball antics. To top things off Joe Torre got the boot and is no longer in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top Model
. It’s times like this that make me even more homesick than ever. However, I will be braving the streets of NYC today to watch the Red Sox/Yankees game at, what I hear, is considered a Red Sox bar. If you don’t hear from me on Monday it means I never made it out of the bar.
Nobody on the Red Sox would ever cheat on their wife. Ever. You can try to find someone who has and you won’t be able to because the Red Sox are perfect.
A-Rod, on the other hand, has allegedly cheated on his wife and was spotted with some random blond chick going in an out of a strip club. Da-da-duuuunnnn. Meanwhile A-Rod’s wife, Cynthia, has packed up her crap and was seen leaving their upper east side apartment and wouldn’t talk with reporters.
With all of this “hoopla” going on A-Rod doesn’t feel that any of this will hurt his team or his game. He said, “I certainly don’t think this will be a distraction to our team
.” Really? Because I think you guys are still like 13 games behind the Red Sox. See? Cheaters never win the World Series. Wait, that’s how that saying goes, right?
Other fun A-Fraud allegations include, but are not limited to, the following:
A-Fraud was a regular at the VIP Club in NYC
A-Fraud likes “muscular she-male” type strippers
A-Fraud is known as the “king of the strip clubs”
A-Fraud goes to a private Chelsea club that has “after-hours sex romps” Romps?
He has “text-message-sex” with random strippers from around the US
Check out the rest of the article here for more A-Fraud fun! P.S, don’t email me telling me that I suck or the Red Sox suck. I’m perfect and the Red Sox are perfect. God bless.
Any time I can poke a little fun at anything “Yankees” you know I’m jumping on the bandwagon. As if being the “biggest choke in sports history” wasn’t enough now it looks like A-Rod and Derek Jeter may be dunzo and the “biggest joke in sports history.” At the least there is a little bump in their relationship, but it’s nothing that Dr. Phil can’t fix. Let’s take a listen to what A-Rod had to say about his struggling relationship with Jeter:
“We were best of friends about 10, 13, 14, years ago, and we still get along well. We have a good working relationship. I cheer very hard for him. He cheers hard for me. And most importantly, we’re both trying to win a world championship. The reality is there’s been a change in the relationship over 14 years and, hopefully, we can just put it behind us. You go from sleeping over at somebody’s house five days a week, and now you don’t sleep over. It’s just not that big of a deal.”
Uh, yeah, it isn’t so much of a big deal. However, you know what is kinda a big deal? You guys used to have sleepovers 5 days a week. Between 10-14 years ago you crazy cats were like 18 years old. Isn’t that a little old to be having sleepovers? I bet you guys use to braid each others hair and tell ghost stories, and freeze the bra of the first guy who fell asleep, and tried to contact Babe Ruth via your Ouija board, etc. You girls were clearly BFF’s. Why not bury the bedazzled hatchet and try to win yourselves a World Series. At last count you haven’t won a World Series since A-Rod joined the team. That must be tough. That can be taxing on a relationship. Tough.
Anyway, Derek Jeter is tired of hearing about this supposed “tiff” and says that his relationship with A-Rod is a “non-issue.” Poor Jeter. Denial is the first step in the mourning process.
A-Fraud has PLENTY of time to think since he won’t be making it to the World Series this year….again…for like the 4th time. Oh, have I mentioned this before?
A-Fraud is walking the streets (lost) with this wife and kid. They all look like miserable bastards, even the kid. Yeah I went there. Being a Red Sox fan NOTHING is off limits when it comes to the Yankees. Nothing.
Just look at that piss-ass look on his wife’s face. Yeah, she looks like a pleasure to live with. No wonder why he wants to be on the road for like 4 months out of the year. He should go and play in Japan over the winter and ruin baseball for them too.
Ok, I’m done. I feel better now.