I think Shannen Doherty should officially change her name to “I Hate You Both. Never Talk to Me Again.” Who’s with me?

“I Hate You Both. Never Talk to Me Again” was all bitchy smiles at the 2nd Annual Heaven Gala in LA the other day. I’m not sure what any of that actually means, but it’s always good to see anyone from 90210 on any type of red carpet. It should give us all hope.

No word yet on how many more episodes of the new 90210 “I Hate You Both. Never Talk to Me Again” will be on, but I say hurry the hell up and get Donna Martin’s ass back on the show. While we’re at it, lets scrap the rest of the cast and just keep Donna and Kelly. Oh, and then bring back all the old cast. Perfect.

Seriously, was it not just yesterday that I blogged about Tori Spelling coming back to 90210 and now People Magazine is reporting that Tori Spelling is in final negotiations to bring Donna Martin’s sweet as back to television. No joke, she better sign the contract because I don’t know how many more times I can “report” on this. Hahah, I just said “report.” I’m a professional.

Now, as far as the rumors go, random drunken people are saying that Tori was waiting for Shannen Doherty to finish up her contract so that the two wouldn’t have to work together. Oh, and by “random drunken people” I, of course, mean me and by douche-bag friends.

I say Shannen should stick around, along with Jennie Garth, and now Tori Spelling. Bring back Valerie and, of course, Ray Pruit so he can….wait for it…..wait for it…..wait for it…..toss her down a flight of stairs! Ding! Ding! Ding! If I could ever interview Tori Spelling I would only ask her questions about that episode and then I’d see if she would allow me to reenact it with her. One can dream.

Just when I stopped watching the new 90210….they….just….might….suck….me….back…..in.

And the Christmas gifts just keep on coming. They. Keep. On. Coming.

I was doing a little bloggy blogging with VH1 on in the background and all of a sudden I hear someone say, “And this guy comes up to me and was like ‘Why’d you throw Donna down the stairs?’” I looked up and assumed I was dreaming. There is no way that there is someone else out there who is as obsessed with the episode of 90210 where Ray Pruit tosses Donna Martin down the stairs more than me?

Well low and behold, it was actually Ray Pruit saying this. Apparently his real name is Jamie Walters and he’s on a new reality show called “Confessions of a Teen Idol” in which all these old teen idols try to get back into the spotlight. Whatever.

Jamie Walters was all pissed off, I guess, that randoms on the street would go up to him and ask him why he threw Donna Martin down the stairs. I was like, really? I would have thanked him for doing it and see if he would be willing to recreate the scene with me in a blond wig.

So, between 90210 back on the air, talks of Tori Spelling renegotiating to get back into the new 90210, and now Jamie Walters in this reality show, I really think we have a fair shot of seeing these two making another love connection and then, of course, ending with an older Donna Martin getting flung down the stairs.

I’ll work on Mrs Teasley next.

No need to watch the full episodes of 90210. It’s basically all filler. Anything you really want see seems to happen in the last 14 minutes. Last week we got to see the return of Kelly’s mom, Jackie (the drunken mess) which was more than a treat than seeing Nat try to work the coffee machine at the new trendy Peach Pit.

This week, the last 14 minutes brought us some much needed closure on who Kelly’s baby daddy is. As soon as that random teacher dude told Kelly that Brenda filled him in on Kelly’s ex, I knew it would be Dylan. Kelly followed Brenda out to the parking lot and they had a bit of an argument……just like the old days! It was then that Brenda revealed that the baby daddy was, in fact, Dylan. It could only have been better if Brenda ended it with, “I hate you both. Never talk to me again!”

Is anyone watching 90210? Thoughts? More crap to share? Should I continue on?

Hold on to your 90210 ass because Ian Ziering has recently talked about his character not returning to the new 90210. Ian has recently said, “It’s not really where my career goals are focused right now. I’m really looking down the line pretty far and this might be a step backwards.”

….to which the parking attendant responded, “ok, here are your keys sir.”

Photos above are recent Brenda Walsh pics as she was heading into the Green Door club over the weekend. Perhaps the “green door” is actually a door to 1995 when those jean cut off shorts were cool to wear. I hate you both. Never talk to me again.

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The new 90210 starts on Sept 2. Mark your loser calendars. Mine’s circled twice.

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Look, I’m just as psyched as any other tool bag that 90210 is coming back and featuring some of our favorite old 90210 characters. However, if I remember correctly Kelly Taylor was a bit of a, oh I how do I say this nicely, slam-pig-whore-who-dabbled-in-lesbianism. She was hot for all the seasons accept that one season when she cut her hair really really short and looked like Cindy Walsh. Anyskank, the photos above are some of the first of Jennie Garth on the set of 90210 filming an episode for the upcoming season that’s scheduled to premiere in the Fall. Why is she dressed like a no nonsense business woman? Perhaps she’s going to go the Heather Locklear route from Melrose Place and bang everything in sight? Let’s hope because if this Kelly Taylor is going to be nice and sweet I may have to not watch it. Oh who am I kidding. I’ll be watching it, Tivo’ing it, and watching it again over the weekend whilst hungover on my couch.

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Joe E Tata will be reprising is almost-award-winning role as “Nat” who cooks/owns the Peach Pit on 90210. Again, thank you Jesus. Nat was wrapping up shooting his latest scenes for the pilot of the new 90210 and told the Associated Press about him being back, “lighting striking twice.”

Nat continued talking about the future of his role by saying, “The coin is in the air for me. I guess it comes under the heading of magic test: Let’s see if the audience still remembers me.”

How old is Nat, you ask? 71. Holy crap, let’s hope this isn’t a recurring role. I don’t know if Nat’s poor Peach Pit heart can take it!

Up next? Come on Mrs. Teasley. Bring back Teasley or give me death!

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Luke Perry, wearing jeans on jeans, was alive and well at LAX over the weekend and by LAX I don’t mean the club that “all the kids” go to, I actually mean LAX….the airport. Glamorous. Dylan is looking a little too old to be playing Brenda’s love interest in the new 90210, so I’m pushing for him to play the role of Jim Walsh, assuming they will be casting for that. Hopefully all the letters I’ve been writing to both the producers of the new 90210 and Santa Claus will make this happen.

Oh, and last week I wrote about Shannon Doherty coming back to the new 90210. Praise my Jesus! I then got about 6,000 emails telling me that my favorite, Tori Spelling, was now out of the new 90210. I was devastated as I’m waiting for them to recreate the scene when Ray Pruit tossed Donna’s ass down a flight of stairs. Well, after the candle-lit vigil I held, Tori Spelling is saying that she WILL be in the new 90210, but just not in the pilot episode as she is taking care of some family and personal business first. I’m assuming this means she’ll either be getting a divorce or she’s still waiting to hear if she made the cut for the new Dancing With the Stars. Either way, she’s in! Da-da-da-Donna, Da-da-da-Donna. Crrr Crrr!

I have an idea on what the story line could be. How about, “Shannon Doherty hasn’t had real work in a while so this 90210 gig is about as good as it’s going to get for her.”

So far we have Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth back and, supposedly, Ian Ziering is trying to get involved as well. Again, my dream is that all the rest of the cast comes back and then they get rid of the new cast members and just have a 100% continuation of the original 90210. I’m still praying to my baby Jesus that Mrs. Teasley is going to return. Prayers, please, prayers.

Ok, back to my vacation.

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In a true biblical sign of the Apocalypse, Tori Spelling will be heading back to an actual acting job in which she will need to not only memorize lines, but wait for it….wait for it….act out those lines. What a concept. This is bitter sweet news for me as I will truly miss watching Tori scoop ice-cream for publicity, run a bed and breakfast for publicity, paint a pig for publicity, etc. On the other hand, Tori will bring Donna Martin to life, which increases the chances of seeing Ray Pruit toss her down a flight of stairs….my lifelong dream/goal.

Donna Martin will be making several appearances on the new 90210, as the owner of one of the coolest stores in Beverly Hills that all the kids go to. Um…does that store have a flight of stairs? They better because if not how is Tori gonna get tossed down them?

Anyway, the bottom line is that I’d like to be invited to the premiere party no matter what it takes. I’ll make sex to whoever gets me into that. I’ll also dress up as Aaron Spelling and show up and scare the piss out of everyone. Come on, it’s a win-win!

E Online is reporting that all of my dreams are coming true. So we know that Jennie Garth has signed on to the new 90210 spinoff, called 90210, as a recurring character, but did you know that she won’t sign on as a full-time cast member until she sees how the show does? Tori Spelling was supposed to guest star in the show, but now it’s being said that she’s been written in to the pilot. Supposedly, her first cameo will consist of her having a few lines during a shopping trip with some random girls. That crazy Donna.

Next up, after Ian Ziering said in the past that he wants nothing to do with the show, now it seems like he’s changing his tune….probably because he’s Steve Sanders and has nothing else going on. Supposedly both Tori’s and Ian’s “people” have been calling the producers of the show almost every day to see where the situation with the show stands.

We’re also being told that other former cast members of 90210 may be making guest appearances from time to time. PLEASE let that mean it’s going to be Mrs. Teasley!

Finally, it’s been said that none of the original 90210 cast members wanted to be the first to show interest in coming back to the show, but once Jennie Garth did the rest were feeling more comfortable. So everyone should be thanking Kelly Taylor for increasing the chances that Donna will be tossed down a flight of stairs by Ray Pruitt. Thanks Kelly! Hopefully they’ll replace all of the new 90210 kids with all of the old 90210 kids. Perhaps they’ll have a spinoff of a spinoff.