Brody Jenner Thinks Malibu is Rough

It’s like The Hills Gods are answering my scripted Hills prayers! Remember how I recently wrote about bumping into Brody Jenner at STK in NYC over the weekend? Yeah, well apparently STK is the only place Brody visits because at about 12:30 AM the other night I got a text message from two of my friends who are in LA….at STK…..and talking to Brody Jenner.

You wanna break your bathroom stall promise to me Brody? I’ll send my friends out find you and, well, they’re loud mouths. Two of my friends, Lauren and Erica just wanted to grab a quick picture with Brody so they could send it to me for IBBB. Sadly, or not so sadly, things took a turn….for the worse. First I’ll recap some of the highlights of their conversation. Below that will be the actual conversation as told by my friend. This shit is great!

Brody is clearly a Lakers fan and grew up in rough and scary Malibu where he had like 25 friends die due to gangs. Malibu gangs…..scary. Tip your 40. To no surprise, Brody is a psychology major. He must go to the set of that school that Lauren goes to on The Hills. Maybe he even takes that difficult “Computer Class” that LC and Stephanie Pratt take.

Here’s what went down direct from the source. E = Erica, L = Lauren, B = Brody. Make sense? Let’s go:

L: Hi there, would you mind taking a picture with my friend?

E: Yeah my friend would really get a kick if I could get a picture with you.

B: Oh is that right? Do you see what I’m wearing right now?

E: Yeah, you’re wearing a Kobe Bryant jersey

B: No, it says LAKERS. This shirt represents all of the LAKERS. Where are you from? (to Erica)
E: I’m from Boston

B: (sports talk abbreviated) blah blah blah blah Celtics blah blah blah blah blah Lakers, blah blah blah blah blah Celtics

E: Mmm Hmmm okay (she’s paying attention to him, but doesn’t really care about sports)

B: I’m sensing a little attitude or something from you?

E: Attitude? No I’m just listening to you and I think you come across as really aggressive. I just wanted to get a picture with you is all.

B: Oh well you can have a picture with me if you do a shot, come on lets do a shot.
(then somehow the conversation turned into something else, and I started to chime in, i was pretty quiet up until this point…just watching the two of them. )

E: Where are you from?

B: I’m from Malibu

L: (to Erica) Yeah that’s a rough hood

B: See that’s how I know you’re not from there, by what you just said.

L: You’re right I am not from there.

B: I’ve had 25 close friends die from there. There’s gangs and drugs, you have no idea.

L: Really?

B: See now you’re being condescending, by how you just said that. that’s really disrespectful. I’m talking about close friends dying.

L: I am? I just made a sarcastic comment about Malibu…before you said anything about friends dying. Really sorry if you can’t handle my sarcasm.

B: No I’m a psychology major I know exactly what you’re doing.You’re condescending. Don’t make comments about things you no nothing about. There’s no need for sarcasm.

L: It’s called a sense of humor. You’re so defensive, I didn’t even say anything. But you’re a psychology major so you have me all figured out I guess.

B: You know what, I don’t like you you’re totally disrespectful.

L: That’s fine, you don’t even know me, you can think whatever you want to. (and then it was like blah blah blah wah wah wah, who knows what the hell that was!! His buddies came over to rescue him and his friends so they could go sit down at their table and eat $45 steaks because they’ve had such a rough life growing up in MALIBU apparently.)

Seriously, this crap is great. Suck it, Us Weekly! You may have Heidi on your cover (week after week), but I have some great Brody stories.
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