Britney Gets Banged, HARD

Whoever said that God doesn’t follow the life of Britney Spears and doesn’t have a great sense of humor is going to burn in the fiery pits of hell with those of you who throw straw wrappers out the car window. Everyone is trying to help Britney now…her mom, her dad, her legal team, but no one is trying to smack some sense into her more than our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Britney was doing a little shoe shopping at the Off Broadway Shoe Warehouse in Hollywood over the weekend when a metal beam “mysteriously” appeared out of nowhere and Britney walked right into it head first. Then to top things off her body guard slapped her upside the weaved out head. Rumor has it that when Britney head-butted the metal bar you could here a voice up in the sky whispering, “Wake up stupid and enough of flashing “The Beav.” I bet that person was my Jesus.

In other Britney news, her dad gets to control her assets for another 5-months, according to the latest ruling from the LA court system. Also, Britney apparently has a stalker (it’s not me). Really? Just one stalker? How ’bout those other 150 cameramen that are following you around 24 hours a day and digging through your trash. Do they count?
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