Breaking News: Britney Still Alive

With all this talk of the death of Heath Ledger, in my opinion, no one is more psyched to have dodged the death bullet train quite like Britney Spears. Therefore I think that each day somebody should be breaking news that Britney is still alive. Maybe I’ll do it. Scratch that, that’s too much of a commitment. Anyway you know that even Britney herself is shocked that death snuck up on Heath Ledger and not her. She’s all, “Yeeee Haw (spurs clicking, gun shots in the air) Try and catch me now, Death!”

Last night in California, Britney’s car was hit by a motorcycle. Was Death there? Nope. She escaped that one as well. Britney was paying her cell phone bill at an AT&T store (pictured above) and it’s like she’s taunting Death, yet again. Tricky minx.

This would, of course, be the perfect time for Britney to really let loose and start living life. She could go out late, drink her face off, stop by several Starbucks, swing by court, drive by KFed’s, etc, etc. No one will notice. That’s not true. I’ll notice. I’m always watching Britney. Well, that’s not true either. Ok, when I’m not watching out for the Olsen Sluts, I’m watching out for Britney.
Oh well, you may have won this time, Britney, but Death is watching and waiting.
Britney – 6,489
Death – 0
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