Bindi Irwin, that little bitch, to Star in Free Willy 4: "Kill Willy."

bindi-irwin-free-willy

Someone go get me the bleach and some SOS pads because I’m ready to make myself blind and deaf all at the same time.  I’m efficient like that.  Bindi Sue Irwin, that f’n little bitch, has been cast with Beau Bridges to star in “Free Willy: South Africa” which will be the fourth installment of this movie in which a whale has sex with a little Australian girl, I assume.

According to Moviehole.net, the new film will go direct to DVD in 2010 and will be about a young Australian bitch girl who is sent to South Africa to stay with her stage-mother grandfather and she becomes friends with some dumb whale who needs to be freed….again!  That all sounds riveting, but I have a better idea for a plot.  Let’s try this out for size:

An entire nation forces a little know-it-all bitch, who never fully dealt with the death of her father because her mother was probably churning out some Ponzi scheme (no idea), out of the country and the only place that will take her is South Africa.  While there, she meets a whale who learns how to speak English in order to convince this little bitch that her mother needs to stop wearing khaki pants that give her a permanent cameltoe and to also grow out her bowl-cut-mullet.  The little bitch thanks the whale by rapping for him, to which the whale somehow finds a rope and a dock and hangs himself.  THE END!  Applause, applause, and applesauce.

Thanks to IBBB reader, Brian, who sent me the news of Bindi!

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