Beyonce & Tina Turner Have a Sass Off

Let’s face it, the Grammy Awards typically crap the bed and this year was no different, except for the fact that this year I was looking forward to seeing Beyonce and Tina Turner sing together…..not because I’m a big fan or anything, but because I’ve been saying for years that Beyonce’s mother is actually Tina Turner and not Tina Knowles. Now I’m convinced more than ever that Tina Knowles and Tina Turner are the same person, kinda like that episode of the Brady Bunch when Peter had to play two different people. I think that was also the season when they introduced Cousin Oliver (the jinks), but I digress.

Anyway, if you saw it, you noticed that Beyonce took the stage first and forgot to wear her pants. This was looking ok until she sat on that chair and then sorta looked like that fat little girl that you always had to invite to your pool party and she’d sit on your picnic table and get chlorine water all over the pizza. Anyway, that’s what she looked like to me.

Next up, Tina Turner/Tina Knowles came out and sang up a storm. Then Beyonce came back out so they could not only sing “Proud Mary,” but also so they could show a side-by-side comparison of Beyonce’s legs vs. Tina Turners 68 year old legs. Oh, and Tina won for having better and thinner legs. Nice work Beyonce. Tina may have looked like she was wearing one of those old fashion trash cans around her waist and wrapped aluminum foil around her legs, but she was still looking better than Beyonce. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to throw her on the grill or give her the oil can. Regardless, the performance was a success even when it looked like Beyonce pushed Tina once or twice. Pushing a senior citizen isn’t that big of a deal. It isn’t, right? Oh well, to the left, to the left.

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