America’s Next Top Model: When in Rome

Find out what happened on last nights crapisode of America’s Next Top Model. The skanks are in Rome and you know what they say. When in Rome do as Tyra would do. ANTM recapper, Jenny, is back again to tell you what went down on ANTM. Enjoy!
  • Viva Italia! The girls are in Rome. I can’t wait to hear Tyra’s Italian accent…I know it’s coming, you know it’s coming….The girls take a tour of Rome…As Anya steps off the bus she takes a digger and chews rocks. If Tyra was there, she would have given Anya a lesson on how to walk it off and continue on. Make it look like she was dancing off the bus…while being fierce. “You see what I just did there?”
  • Tyra mail arrives for the girls and Tyra has turned her photo into the Mona Lisa. As she should. Actually, I’m surprised Tyra didn’t go bigger. I thought we’d be see photos of Tyra all over the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Perhaps video mail of Tyra saying mass at the Vatican?
  • The girls arrive on the plaza and there are Segways everywhere. This week’s challenge must be to act as mall security. Oh wait it’s a Segway tour through Rome in which the guide points out how well Italian women dress. Interesting. Except it’s not.
  • They get to meet art director Attilio Vaccari. He explains the challenge to girls and I have no idea what he is talking about. Regardless, the girls dress up in clothes and walk. Anya wins and gets to sport a gown on the red carpet.
  • More Tyra mail…This one says Facile, Brezza, Bella. You guessed it Peanuts gang, that translates to Easy, Breezy, Beautiful. As Lauren says, and I quote “Crap Crap Crap Cover Girl.” Now that’s a slogan. If she was smart, she would copyright that before they steal it from her.
  • The models have to shoot a Cover Girl commercial while speaking Italian. It is God awful. All of it. All of them. It reminds of being in Spanish class with the poor kid who does terrible in the class, but the teacher refuses to speak English to him or call on someone else. So he sits there for 40 minutes trying to get through the 3 sentences he is supposed to real aloud. Wait, what am I talking about? Side note. How is Dominique still in this competition?
  • Tyra gives us a quick lesson on the history of Rome. But not before mentioning that the biggest fashion show in the industry takes place on the Spanish Steps and that SHE has been in that fashion show FOUR TIMES.
  • AND HERE IT IS….Tyra busts out the Italian accent. It is a Jamaican accent, no word of a lie. Jamaican. What is wrong with her? Every accent she imitates ends up being Jamaican. Does she think that the Jamaicans were the first settlers in every country in the world?
  • Lauren and her thumb are being sent back to America. Five girls remain MON!

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