America’s Next Top Model: Paint & Poses

What does Claire’s tank top say? Does it say I love Labor Labor? Or does it say I love Gabor Gabor? I can’t make out the first letter.

And here is Benny Ninja, all lit up in his ridiculous glory. Honestly, this show is getting a little de ja vu. Honestly, this show is getting a little de ja vu. Can’t they dig up some new nuts in the fashion world?

Cue the obligatory fight over the phone. Blah blah blah, I need to talk to my kid. Blah blah blah, you’re disrespectful. Blah Blah blah, you’re a racist. Down by the shores of the hanky panky…where the bullfrogs jump from bank to banky….because that has as much significance as anything else here.

The girls head to Brooklyn and meet up with super model Vendela. It’s a pose off. Is that a thing? Oh even better. It’s like a dance battle. Head to head….How Electric Boogaloo.

Claire is the individual pose winner. She wins a trip to Bora Bora. Her team wins overall. They win swag. Oh but it’s good swag, like sunglasses, purses, jewelry. Not typical office swag, like you won a sales contest so here’s some leftover mugs with the company name and a lame ass mini rubber chair to put your cell phone in. Oh and don’t forget these pens that say President’s Club 2001.

When the girls get back to the house, Fatima continues to practice posing. Other girls are drinking 40’s. Do people still drink 40’s? I think the last time I drank a 40 was in 1993 before a local carnival. There’s nothing like drinking a 40 and riding the thunderbolt while “Stroke Me” blares.

It’s photo shoot time! This week’s shoot is close ups. But it wouldn’t be a Tyra shoot without some nonsense. So, they squeeze and dump paint on the girls’ heads. I say kick it up a notch. Throw these girls on a pottery wheel and turn them into spin art.

After a painful deliberation (painful for me, not the judges) Marvita is asked to go home. Are we surprised, really? Do you think she’s pissed that she let Tyra give her a mullet, only to be sent home? Some things to think about…