America’s Next Top Model. It’s GREAT to be Homeless!

IBBB writer, Jenny, is back again this week to recap the crap out of America’s Next Top Model Cycle 10. I must say I honestly think this is one of the funniest ones she’s EVER written. Brilliant. Check out Jenny’s thoughts on last nights episode below:
  • It’s season 10 and I notice that there are MANY more shots of Tyra in the opening credits. They used to show past contestants/winners. She has no shame.
  • I really don’t understand Marvita Grace Jones. Now I am not saying I myself am a supermodel, but I am pretty sure she is not.
  • Kim explains to us that she is not the dumb blond people think she is….Then she uses the word “exspecially.”
  • The girls check out their new living situation and it seems as though several of the girls will be sleeping in one big bed. Nice. Just like cats!
  • This week they are staging a runway show in Times Square. Um, hello….Mr. IBBB? Don’t you think you should have sent me on location to cover this? I could have reported live from your office window on the 40th floor via satellite webcast…..
  • Marvita Grace Jones walks the run way as though it is the Green Mile.
  • The girls head to Elite Modeling Agency to meet with Paulina Porizkova. She tells each of the girls their flaws….including bad skin, drag queen qualities and a smooshed face. Wow. And I thought IBBB making fun of little girls on Harriet Carter Wednesday was mean.
  • They all hop into a cab hummer. What?
  • Fatima tells Martiva she has a small, squishy face…This is after she whacked her in the head at the runway show. Marvita calls her the only mean African she has ever met. I officially hope Marvita kicks her ass.
  • This week’s photo shoot has the girls posing as homeless people. That’s good Tyra. But I’m pretty sure that homeless people don’t travel with professional makeup artists, stylists and photographers.
  • Tyra has gone all high-tech on us gang. Her Tyra Mail is now electronic. No more old fashioned paper and envelopes. I don’t think the interweb will catch on though.
  • “Mean-a Paulina” is the new celebrity judge.
  • Tyra takes this opportunity to tell us that she chose the homeless motif because it is an issue that is close to her heart. She says “On MY show, the Tyra BANKS show, I was homeless for a day.” Yeah, a day….not for nothin’ Tyra, but it’s not very believable when you get to “take off” your homeless make-up and homeless clothes and jump into your Mercedes to drive home to your penthouse…..But I digress.
  • Tyra gives the girls advice when reviewing their pictures…This advice consists of Tyra saying “you should have done this” while straightening her shoulders and turning her head.
  • Kim announces that she doesn’t find fashion interesting. They act as if she just announced that she is in Al Qaeda. Tyra asks her if she would like to go home. Kim says “yes” and literally turns and walks out the door. Um, I don’t think Tyra meant right this VERY second…but she did use the word “exspecially” so we really shouldn’t expect much.
  • Atalya gets the boot. I wonder if she’ll run into Kim in the hallway because Kim is lost and can’t find the exit. Til next time…..

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