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Feb
05

This Teen Mom Episode is Brought to You By the Letter (from) V

Posted by IBBB
Read More On: teen mom 2 recap

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I’m not going to lie to you (which differs from the norm), but this blog post title may be the best I’ve ever written in the land of evers.  Had I been on stage I would have simply dropped the mic, Shasta’d in my pants, and then moonwalked into the orchestra.  This is also known as a traditional Tuesday night in my neck of the woods.  Shout out to Woodsie Owl what what!  Anyjunk, MTV pulled the “gotcha gotcha” on me this week and made this trash 1.5 hours.  It’s odd that they’re unaware that I enjoy slumber by 11pm sharp, as when I don’t receive a standard 10 hours of sleep I am a bit on the cranky side.  Lookout Tuesday!  Let’s see what Cindy, Ellen, Mary-Ann, and Chachi are up to this week.  Also, I have no idea.

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Jenelle – The last 17 seasons of Maury continue this episode because Jenelle still needs to figure out if Andrew is the daddy of Ja¢e or if it’s actually her hoodie.  Andrew seems like he’s having 15 different conversations whilst on the phone with Jenelle.  First he’s like “heeey” and then he busts into him feeling like he’s not Ja¢e’s father.  He then ends the conversation by saying that he’d like to video chat with Ja¢e before the DNA test and then ends the conversation with “I love you.”  Odd.  Yet, seems to right.  Seconds later they’re Skypin’ it up like it’s video-sex-chat and there’s an actual camera on Andrew so you know MTV was ba da ba ba ba, lovin’ it.  As are we.  The video is as creepy as you could ever imagine.  He just starts waving to Ja¢e and says “Hi Jacey!”  Ja¢e, of course, immediately says “who’s that?!”  Andrew takes a second to say that he knows who he is…and then seconds later takes the rest of the video chat time stating that he doesn’t think Ja¢e looks anything like him, is certain he isn’t his, and then says he can’t wait to take his name off the birth certificate and child support documents.  Awww that’s sweet, but save some of those words of encouragement when Ja¢e graduates from high school (fingers crossed).  Per usual, Andrew ends the more than awkward conversation by saying, “Ok Ja¢e I love you, buddy.”  Uh, really?  Is Andrew on “the drugs” or am I?  At this point there’s no real way to know.

Later, Blessed Mother Barb and her offspring head on out to take a DNA just like I’m sure Marie Osmond and her mom did in the mountains of Utah. There was a lot of symbolism during the DNA scene because Barb and Jenelle were wearing white (symbolic of purity) and Andrew was in Florida wearing black.  While most would think this symbolizes the battle of good and evil, I think it symbolizes what this world is really missing….a good old fashioned Salt N’ Pepa rap-off!  Is it wrong that I dream about Barb singing “Shoop” on the regular with a 6-pack of Zima in her hand all filled with Dora crazy-straws?  I didn’t think so.  After the DNA Jenelle heads out to an ice cream store (because that’s what you do after a DNA) that was inspired by Barb and called “Flava’s.”  I mean, brilliant.  Jenelle is trying to explain to her friend about the DNA test and how she thinks it’s “the other guys” baby.  She implies that’s it’s going to be real pain in the balls to try and track him down.   I’m sure she can just swing by the local homeless shelter and have at it.  Jenelle then says something that will haunt me until the end of days, which is “I don’t understand.  How can you, like, have a kid and just not care?”  I know, Jenelle, I know.  It’s almost like how can you not strategically place feathers in your hair and get ready to go to a Ke$ha concert and skip out on jail?  This is really what life is all about.  By the way, you totally know that when Barb goes to “Flava’s” she gets a vaniller ice cream in a cone with Jimmies and maaaaaaaashmallows!

Finally it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for.  I feel the pressure.  Who is the father to Ja¢e?  Is it Andrew?  Is it that unmarked guy?  Is it me?  It could be me since I generally send an envelope of my “seed” to all the Teen Mom’s every 3rd Friday of the month.  Since I’m not an animal I made sure to start that program once they turned 18.  I have class.  Anychalkdust, Barb and Jenelle finally get the results at the DNA store (?) that it is with 99.97% certainty that Andrew….is the father.  Was it just me or when the lab worker started to read the results all I heard was, “We the jury find the defendant Orenthal J Simpson not guilty…”  I, of course was going to start rioting like any good citizen would do.  Barb and Jenelle literally do look shocked.  It’s not like Barb not to say anything.  I actually felt bad.  I mean, I didn’t really but it seemed like the right thing to say.  As they exit the DNA store you just hear Barb say, “Oh my God this is terrible news.  Jace is gonna be so screwed up!”  Let’s be real, Ja¢e isn’t going to be any more screwed up by Andrew being his dad than by Jenelle being his mom.  It’s like you can’t be “overly dead.”  You’re just dead.  You’re not like super dead.  Simply, dead.

I had to admit I’m kind of pissed that Barb has all this video chatting capabilities, yet she never seems to want to chat with me over 6-12 beers and the like.  Alas, they decide to video chat-up Andrew to give him the results.  He says he’s 99% sure he isn’t the father and Jenelle lets him know that he 99% is the father.  Stop with all the math.  I’m over it.  Andrew starts to shake and bug his eyes out so it’s either time for his next fix or he really is shocked.  He is now determined to be in his 3, 4 or 2 year old sons life.  He even gives Barb props by saying that she’s done a great job so far (clearly).  When Jenelle lets Andrew know Barb is standing by on video chat he gets all scared and Barb just laughs, “Oh I won’t bite you Andrew!” She cackles like the glorious hen she has become.  They end their chat with Andrew’s standard awkward goodbye which consists of “I love you guys.”  Barb closes the laptop and laughs, “Haha he loves me.”  I couldn’t love Barb any more if I tried!  I could, however, do without her smoking cigarettes.  It does make her voice sexy though so, well, I’m torn.  Later it’s apparently Spring and Barb and Jenelle are catching up and recapping what just happened.  That seems strange, but right up Teen Mom’s alley.  They both agree that they’ll probably never see Andrew again especially since he’s so “weird and mental.”  Jenelle thinks she’ll never get child support from him, but Barb corrects her and says, “Oh he will pay.  Because he has to pay me.  I will find him and he will pay or he will go to jail.”  I mean, had she been married to Pirate Mike those could have legit been her vows to him.

Leah – “Hey y’all!  I’m given out birth announcements via voicemail these days so press “1″ if you want to leave a message and press “2″ if you want to know which baby I’m on these days.  Press “3″ if you found a pair of purple goggles, y’all!”  Leah ends up telling Jeremy that she is “with child” via  phone call.  Now did she already tell him or are they really all that much dead inside?  Moreover, can you technically be pregnant if you still have braces?  Won’t it cut the baby whilst giving birth?  Babies are born from your mouth right?  Oh they’re not?  Ohhhh.  Well then maybe Leah should have only had sex in her mouth then.  The More You Know.  Seriously, I thought of stopping my Leah recap at that last sentence.  I honestly don’t think I’ll be able to top it.  I guess like Chelsea going for her GED, I’ll try a little more.

You know who’s giving Barb a run for her money this season?  Dawn, Leah’s mother.  First off she always looks like a hot mess and I can’t tell if she’s pissed off at Leah or the camera man…or me.  No joke, sometimes I can feel her looking directly at me though my television.  We know for sure she’s pissed at Leah this time around because she (with deadpan) says that in order to talk to Leah in person right now she had to be up at the crack of dawn.  Speaking of which, are we going to get to see Dawn’s crack or no?  Either way, Dawn is less than pleased when she finds out that Leah is in fact pregnant…again…with her 3rd kid…at 20.  She first calls her Fertile Myrtle and seems like she is the only one who is willing to talk some sense into  Leah.  Oh and by “talk some sense into Leah” I, of course, mean “Put on a latex glove, reach on up in there and fix this situation, ya’ll!”  And here’s why I’m loving Dawn more and more.  When she has nothing nice to say to Leah she just simply says (and I quote), “Well that’s a lot to intake first thing s’morings.”  I was like I have no idea what you just said, but that deserves a slow clap and a free all expense paid trip to the geneticist!!

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After a talk with her friend with the square-hair-combover Leah now understands that she needs to tell Corey that she is engaged and pregnant (in any given order).  Since Leah hasn’t humiliated Corey enough ways since his days on 16 & Pregnant, she makes sure to invite him over to her “home” with the camera crew so they can “have a talk.”  Corey probably thinks he’s walking into a camo trucker hat intervention but, clearly, that would take place here in NYC (and by me) and not in East-West Virginia.  Leah ends up spilling the beans that she is engaged and it gets pretty awkward.  I wasn’t sure if Corey was saying words or simply making sounds.  He then talks about rumors he’s heard about her being pregnant and, well, since they’re adults they decide that Leah will confirm or deny this via writing on the Magnadoodle…you know, just like the same way you told your husband you were pregnant.  Leah writes a giant “Y” on the Magnadoodle and so it shall be done.  I actually felt bad for Corey at this point because he started to cry a little and, well, that really sucks.  Sure we know how this ends but I kind of view them as the white-trashier version of Ross and Rachel.  This poor kid can’t catch a break.  And now he’s forced to try and hold back the tears while a camera crew is all up in his face.  He kept saying he was happy for her, but he kept wiping his eyes.  Boo to that sh*t.  He should immediately go and bang and marry Dawn and then he can be Leah’s step-daddy and then molest her and junk.  You know, circle of life.

In the end (because I’m sleepy-pants) Leah is having mixed feelings about her feeling in regards to Jeremy and Corey.  She tells Square Hair her concerns and Square Hair thinks she shouldn’t get married if she’s conflicted.  Um, can someone tell her it’s ok to get an abortion too?  I mean, is it?  I don’t know.  Is it legal?  Do you go to the hospital for that or, like, walk up a back alley and have a high Macy Gray do the work?  Someone catch me up.  Either way, she’s conflicted and ends up telling Corey she’s conflicted but, in the end, she decides to move ahead with her marriage and leave Corey in the West Virginian dust.  Per usual Corey is humiliated and knows that he let a “good thing” go from his life.  I guess he should have worked harder at trying to keep Leah.  Perhaps that awkward conversation between he and his dad will reveal that.  Also, I don’t care.  Fine, I do a little.

Kail – Know who’s worse in relationships than me?  Kail.  I thought I was a tragic mess.  Spoiler Alert:  I am.  However, Kail seems to go all 6’s and 7’s as well.  It’s almost Issac’s 2nd birthday and so she is hanging out with Javi about the big day and they awkwardly talk about where they’re at in their fauxlationship.  Javi is playing the role of the dame and Kail is playing the role of the lad.  I can’t tell if Kail is jokingly being mean to Javi, if she’s actually that mean, or if she is just basically in heat.  I’m, of course, going to assume that she’s in heat.  I picture it to be the same as when Suzi is in heat, which basically equates to her shaking, falling off her chair, and then dry humping a speed bump in the parking lot of a Pearl Optical.  I miss Kail’s old home because her drive-thru home made me so uncomfortable, however it’s probably just because (a) it’s 17 times the size of my apartment and (b) always makes me want to smear fast food all over my face and then complain why I’m all broken out and seizing on my kitchen floor.  I’m sure you’d think the same.

Later it’s Spring break and Kail is taking some time off from her journey along the Yellow Brick(s) Road.  Her rapping ex, Jo, is heading over to drop Issac off in a traditional game of “Not it!”  However Jo is coming over for reasons other than a kid/life swap.   He has a letter.  A letter from V.  Apparently V (Jo’s current booty-clapping main squeeze other than Janet) is not familiar with the world of “online” and “the email” and has hand-written a letter to Kail like she would most likely write to her big daddy in jail.  Kail decides to read said letter out loud and aloud all at the same time.  I was very disappointed that Jo didn’t “rap” the letter while Janet hid in the background working the smoke machine with two lime green glow-sticks in her brassiere and a fresh grill that says ‘YOLO’ in her mouth/mouf.  V seems like she knows many of the words in “the language” and is pretty nice about respecting Kail and her “mothering.”  You would have thought V stated that DSS is on their way and how the Cowardly Lion was a prick the way Kail reacted.  Sadly (and cowardly) Kail thinks that what V wrote meant nothing to her and how she doesn’t plan on meeting her until she is good and ready.  I think someone has supermarket rap video envy!  I feel her pain.  I’d also like to feel that chiny-chin-chin.  After Jo tells Kail to F-off they decide to part ways, but not before she tries to toss the letter at him.  Can’t she mail it via the post-office?  I’m sure V had her return address posted in the top left corner.  Eh, maybe she can origami the hell out of it and pass it back to her when they’re in homeroom tomorrow morning before the big pep-rally.  Yawn.  Chin up (literally) Kail, it’ll get better.

The rest of Kail’s scenes bored me to tears.  It’s no offense to her but I just will cry when I’m bored and/or sh*t myself.  It’s, like, a thing I guess.  All I know is that I think I witnessed 15 different birthday parties for Issac and I was relieved I wasn’t at any of them.  V tossed a little sass back towards Kail for not responding well to the letter.  She seemed angry enough that I was afraid her two long strands of bangs were going to catch fire and torch her head.  At least in the end, Jo and Kail could come together and “rocks, paper, scissors” their future decisions together.  Maybe if they just tried “condoms, birth control, abortion” we wouldn’t even be watching this right now.  Wow two abortion jokes in one recap?  I must be really aiming high.  Oh, sure I forgot to mention this earlier, but what was up with Kail’s friend Toni?  She seems nice and normal and well adjusted and providing great advice to Kail about her feelings, current situation, etc.  Then, uh, she was back for like 3 more scenes spewing out the same positive energy and I was like, Ok relax there Toni.”  Is she “that friend” that kinda tries to be your mom in every situation?  Sure sound advice is good from time to time, but it’s also ok to kick back with you and split a gallon of $9.99 vodka.  No one needs you judging my drinking, Toni!

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Chelsea – Got her GED so now she can legally cut hair?

Well that’s all folks (as some pig once said).  Be sure to click on the Facebook Recommend Button (above, below, and everywhere) so you can share this recap with your Facebook friends.  It means a lot to me to sell out this way, so please continue to support me via my kind of child support.

144 Comments

Craptastic Thoughts from IBBB Readers!

  1. IBBB Said,

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  2. CPS workers unite! Said,

    I think this may be your best work yet! Bravo sir. Bravo.

  3. Jenny Head Said,

    I respect your reticence in dealing with all things Chelsea, but how could you resist the leopard headed hair styling mentor? If I walked into a salon and saw those two I’d go Brittany Spears in about two seconds.

  4. Carina Said,

    Absolutely brilliant! Dawn is just the best.

  5. Kyla Said,

    1)Seeing Andrew brings me back to PB&Janelly’s episode of 16&pregnant when she said her famous line, “I’m already pregnant, nothing worse can happen, Mom!” Oh Janelly Bean, tip of the iceberg.

    2)I feel that Leah’s phone call confession to Jaremee showed how much she has grown as a person. A few episodes back, she would have had the girls do it, and be sure to tell them they love whoever they are talking to as well.

    3)Finally, the free trip to the geneticist was my favorite line. Bravo, sir.

  6. butch goes to law school Said,

    you missed janet at jos party.she was shaking it just for you..did anyone see the previews for the next season which is like in 2 weeks?kail apparently breaks down and hits both jo and javi..she has admitted that,like suzi,she is bipolar..cant wait..

  7. Amby's Hand Piercing Said,

    This recap was fabulous!! LOVE IT. Laughed my ass off.

    Andrew is creepier beyond words…i mean, really..what is wrong with him?
    I too loved when Barb was like “well, now Jace is going to be messed up!” Yea….Andrew or random daddy Jace doesnt have a shot in hell thanks to Jenelle and the fact that he can watch all the seasons of Teen Mom and her 16 & Pregnant episode…

  8. Conspiracy Man Said,

    Shoop.

    How could Kailyn be so hypocritical? She claims there is no way Jo shoudl ever even think of bringing V around her and then gets bitter that Jo doesn’t show up to her party to meet her (third) boyfriend.

    Shoop.

  9. The S is silent bitch Said,

    OK, I’m a weirdo grammar and spelling freak and I have to know if anyone else noticed this: when Chelsea was taking her “entrance” exam, the question “Access is most closely related to the word” and Bricks Magee circles “too much.” I am now officially lost faith in the future of this world if you can get a GED with that kind of thinking. How she got a 91 on that test OR a GED is beyond me.

    Please tell me I’m not the only one who knows the correct answer to that question. I think it was (b) admittance. Yay, I can cut hair now!

  10. SZ Said,

    @ S is silent – YES! I screamed at the TV, rewinded it, paused it, called over my husband, played it again, then yelled at the TV again! What a moron she is. There’s no way she only missed a handful of those questions if she doesn’t know the difference btw access and excess.

    And why are vocab words part of an entrance exam for beauty school? Shouldn’t they be asking questions about, like, beauty?

  11. social working degree Said,

    oh man. please tell me you saw the unseen moments where Barb put itching powder in pirate Mikes clothes to make him think that he has crabs. I guess he had his 30th affair or whatever. I love me some Barb.

  12. StupidNurse Said,

    This is me, tipping my hat to you…..

  13. social working degree Said,

    @ The S – that.is.hysterical. I’m mad that I missed it. I need to pay closer attention during this show. I’m usually so distracted by Chelsea’s hair/tan to notice anything else though.

  14. The S is silent bitch Said,

    Thank God I’m not the only one who noticed that. She should be embarrassed that at 20 years old she doesn’t know the difference between access and excess. They don’t even sound that alike honestly. I’m pretty sure I knew this in elementary school! She’s such an idiot!

    And the itching powder, classic Bahbra. Sometimes watching her makes me begin to somewhat understand why Jenelle is, well, completely insane. Run away, Jace. It’s not too late, I think.

  15. Amber Said,

    Did you watch the Unseen Moments episode that aired after the finale?! I know about your 11 pm bedtime and all but you would have LOVED it. Let’s just say Barbra got a little fiesty and put itching powder in Pirate Mike’s clothes so him and his Hooters Girl would think they had “the crabs”! LOVING IT. Oh and there was that awkward moment when one of Leah’s spawn called her a bitch. Also pretty great.

  16. Chiny-chin-chin Said,

    OMG..did anyone notice Randy’s PeeWee Herman shirt?! Haha I love it! So does anyone know if the new 12 episodes are season 4 or if its still part of season 3? WIll this be the last season for these girls?

  17. Chin cysts Said,

    Well at least Chelsea got obesity right. You know, with Randalicious and all…

    Great recrap. Next week is Dr. Drew, and then week after that 12 more crapisodes, get ready y’all!

    So I guess Kail is going to have a mental breakdown this second half? That preview was intense.

    Barb was great this ep. Especially the webcam. But why were they so surprised it was Andrew? Jenelle was so damn sure in her 16&P ep and never mentioned the possibility of another guy. And Andrew looks cracked out, Jenelle should love that.

  18. Conspiracy Man Said,

    I am incredibly angry at Chelsea’s male beautician friend. He completely ripped off my entire look. I swear he got his hands on a photo of me and then just copied my whole look, from the hairstyle to the clothing. He even ripped off my cool mannerisms and speech patterns. I would like to sue, but there is no cause of action for this type of theft. I just want anyone who is thinking that he is so cool to realize that I am the one you should be adoring. Now I have to go and remousse the entire leopard section of my hairdo and touch up my nails.

  19. Andrew's Dark Eye Circles Said,

    Wow. This episode was retarded. I seriously cringed and wanted to bust Aleeah in her mouth when she picked up that poor little dog and was basically choking it. Leah didn’t do anything, she just said “Now Aleeeeeah be nice to tha puppy”

  20. Conspiracy Man Said,

    Also- was anyone else thinking what I was thinking about Corey’s reaction to Leah’s new pregnancy/engagement? Teh focus shoudl not have been that the pregnancy killed his chances for a reunion with Leah, but rather he should have been really upset that she would take such reckless chances with the future of his own children. Why focus on his lost, stupid love when she is endangering the future of his own children? She doesn’t have time for school because she has to take care of the two kids (one with special needs), but she all of a sudden has time to care for another child? Wouldn’t you be mad if your co-parent, who has your kids at least half of the time, decided to risk their stability by marrying a guy she has known for two months? Corey should not be sad – he should be really, really mad.

  21. Jenelle : Ke$ha concert :: Muslims : Mecca Said,

    Andrew looks rode hard & hung up wet. Not that he was an Adonis on the 16 & Pregnant episode, but he at least had a normal, albeit douchey, look about him. Now he just looks so scary – heroin maybe? I dunno. And where the eff did his eyebows go?

  22. social working degree Said,

    I totally forgot about Ali (Aleeah?) whoever…calling Leah a bitch. that was great. “mommy’s bitch!”

    Kail is a huge hypocrite. can’t wait to see her hit Javi. or was that Jo?

  23. Kyyyy's Shart Said,

    Did anyone else hear either Alibaba or Aleve, when Corey and Leah were talking on the couch…it sounded like one of them shouted out “I’m horny!” lolol…along with the extra scenes of Goggles saying “Mommy b*itch!” Gahhh what are they talking about around them?!

  24. Corey's Interpreter Said,

    Andrew reminded me of Johnny Depp in that movie “Crybaby” if he’d been about 2 years into a pretty severe meth addiction. So greasy. Stay golden, Ponyboy. And is Chelsea’s new school “Black Hills Beauty” or “Black Holes Beauty”? I think it should be the latter because clearly no actual beauty is capable of escaping it’s gravitational pull. I wonder what leopard mohawk boy’s girlfriend thinks of his haircut….Chelsea’s so irritating (for a variety of reasons, but specifically) because she’s proven in the little recap shows they have sporadically (good thing that one wasn’t on her beauty school entrance exam) that she has the potential to be really pretty but is hellbent on making herself like like absolute trash.

  25. The Pacifier Still in Use at H/S Graduation Said,

    Patrick! Please tell us you DVR’d the “Unseen Moments” and will recap them for us. I know you get cranky when you miss your bed time… but, you simply cannot with hold your gems of insight from that hot mess.

    You know I’m not even sure Leah ever even liked Corey, but she sure as hell is having the time of her life screwing with his emotions. And, I agree with Conspiracy Man – if I were the Father of a set of twins with a mother that let’s them run around looking the way they do AND is self admitedly behind on Googles excercises, the thought would be going through my mind “what about MY kid that needs help?” Leah needs another kid, as well as the new puppy like Chelsea needs another set of bad hair extensions.

    From the looks and sounds of it, it looked like Kail beat the bag out of both Javi and Jo and looked like Janet was trying to talk Jo into pressing charges. Although the clips were not only all run together, I was falling asleep – so fellow IBBBer’s don’t hold me to this!

    I almost fell out of my seat laughing when Andrew is yelling “hi Buddy! I love you!” to Jace, while saying “no, he doesn’t look like me, take my name off” and Jace dead eye looks at the computer and says “who’s that?” Then in the unseen moments when Jenelle is freaking out over not being able to find her phone? Wow, if she put in 1/10th of that amount of effort into Jace, the kid might have half a chance. Mouth on him like a truck driver, but still…

    Chelsea is sadly just stupid. Anyone else notice the baby talk to the head of the hair academy? When she does that it rakes on me like nails on a chalk board.

    Lastly, we all wonder why Jenelle is the hot mess she is? The itching powder on Pirate Mike’s clothing? OK… I have to admit it’s funny, BUT, what Mother tells their daughter that kind of information? I mean, that was all just a little too sad for me…

  26. Teen Mom Observer Said,

    What is with Kail and Chelsea’s friends? They look old enough to be these girls mothers. Don’t these girls have real friends? And real friends their own age?

  27. Darling Nikki Said,

    Omg LOVED how Corey’s dad basically said Leah was and is a whore. Also did anyone else notice the EPT commercial. Nice promo you go there Mtv. Word is theyre doing the next season of Teen Mom 2 cause of Jenelle being a train wreck and want nothing to do with her anymore so theyre really trying to end Teen Mom 2. Also why no “I let my boyfriend diddle with muh gentleman greeter and now Im knocked diddly up before I finish the high school”? I cant wait to see Dr.Drew and his lovely attire and didnt anyone notice how he basically put Leah on the spot and she basically rolled her eyes or as she would say her ayes. I so was hoping for Robby to make his grand visit kinda like he should every yr. As.He.Should. You do know if Leah didnt want the kid she could “fall” down a stair case ala Dynasty. I couldnt have loved how she was also trying to find excuses to not keep the now “miscarried” second mistake and it seemed she wanted to not be with Corey two. Bricks seriouly needs to STOP with the talking like shes once of Aubrees friends then again thats all the friends she really has. Barb was looking rather fetching in her brown shirt that matched her Wal-Mart boxed hair dye.

  28. First time caller long time listener Said,

    They probably are trying to end the series so fast because jenelle is so deep into drugs theres a good chance shell be dead by the next “normal” season. Then of course they couldn’t air it because it would be too weird.

    Ps I love love love your recaps but never comment cause im just not funny enough to keep up with all the hilarious commenters! But still, I’m sure you have lots of readers just like me haha so please never give up blogging

  29. Conspiracy Man Said,

    social working degree-

    Let’s hope that the Pennsylvania police are as sharp on the draw as the Indiana cops were when Amber beat Gary. That was assault and battery by Kailyn in any book.

  30. butch goes to law school Said,

    leah apparently just had her baby.what do you think shell name it?

  31. social working degree Said,

    wait..Kail hit both Javi AND Jo?! so much to look forward to.

    @ Conspiracy – maybe. but didn’t they flip because Amber did all of that in front of Leah? we’ll see where Isaac (Issac?) is when all of that goes down.

    @ butch – Aliieiaanaeah or something of the sorts.

  32. Shannen's gap Said,

    I really dislike….dare I say hate….as much as one can through a tv anyway…..and a toddler no less….Aleeah. She just seems like she is destined to grow up to be the world’s snotiest, rudest, biggest bitch EVA! Just a vibe I get from her. But Viva la Goggles!

  33. The Pacifier Still in Use at H/S Graduation Said,

    OK… are we laying down bet’s now on what she named this kid?

    Alagermy? Alabama? Alegra?

  34. IUDidn't Said,

    Hilarious recap! I can’t even list all the things that made me lol!

  35. Pirate Mikes crabs Said,

    I think my favorite part was when the DNA lady says that Andrew is the dad at 99.9999997% blah blah Barb says “so it’s 100% that Andrew is the faaaaatha?” lol

  36. Conspiracy Man Said,

    Shannen’s gap- I am pretty hateful, but I agree with you about Goggles. I would just love to see her grow up, speak the Queen’s English, get highly educated, and trash her mom in several volumes of erudite books in about 25 years. She looks like she might have a brain in her head, but I hope it does not get damaged in that horrible environment she has to occupy. I could see her being like a Flannery O’Connor or someone like that. You just want to see her succeed, despite the poor odds.

    I am guessing Not Goggles will be on the pole in 16 years.

  37. The Pacifier Still in Use at H/S Graduation Said,

    Conspiracy Man! I thought higher of you than that… I was giving Not Google’s only ten years before she hit the pole. Then again, she most likely only has to look in her Mama’s room for one to practice on.

  38. butch goes to law school Said,

    i love how these girls have facebook pages and they are always like,dont judge them or well ban you!!im not the one who acts like an idiot on my very own television show..

  39. Corey's Interpreter Said,

    I hope she named the baba Alamode or Alacarte.

  40. Corey's Interpreter Said,

    *baby, not baba

  41. Spare Santa Suits Said,

    Jeremy’s outlandish mama should be an interesting new in-law for Leah at this time. My guess for the name is: Ajerahhleahhanna

  42. Conspiracy Man Said,

    The Pacifier Still in Use at H/S Graduation-

    Yeah. You are right.

  43. The Pacifier Still in Use at H/S Graduation Said,

    Thanks Consipiracy Man! Now, if I can just book you to do my hair…

  44. T*ts on a Stick Said,

    Does Leah ever spend any time at all with her kids? Other than to glop some slop onto their trays and then leave the room?

    My DVR cut off too soon, I missed the preview!

  45. 99.99% sure I'm inbred Said,

    Omg.. These chicks swear they’re the shit..

    Leah- was I the only one who saw the braids to her sew in weave? And is that a white Yukon she’s driving, yet living in what appears to be a double wide? The hair, make up, cars, pumped up ego cause two rednecks are crying over you.. It’s all so obnoxious. Corey might be lonely at times, but he definitely dodged a bullet “losing” her.. How many different weiners has this married woman had in her since filming started?

    Kailyn- bloated and greasy with a not so cute toddler, yet still has the nerve to be a self righteous bitch. Not to mention major hypocrite.. I’d avoid meeting my ex’s new girlfriend too since she appears to shower daily/ be at a healthy weight. Javi is so cute, why is he dating down with this chick??

    Chelsea- fat and spoiled. A congratulatory dinner for passing a test that’s spanned the length of all seasons.. I see many more pounds in her future.

    Jenelle- chastising Andrew, essentially a stranger who bears no weight on her child’s life, for false promises.. Yet Jace sees her come and go in fits of rage, all while muttering “just gotta finish school n get a job n get Jace back”… Complete bottom of the barrel chick

  46. Orange Zits Said,

    Kail is friends with the Penguin? Does Batman know about this?

  47. Catelyn's Chewed-off Fingernail Polish Said,

    I don’t think these Moms see anything wrong with the neglect and pitiful parenting skills we observe. Look who raised them – Suzi, Dawn, Barb, Randy-licious. All poster parents themselves. They had no hope and neither do their spawn. Leah, if you’ll mail Goggles to me, I’ll see to it that she reaches all her glorious potential. You’re welcome.

  48. Fertile Myrtle Said,

    Where do these girls find their push-over boyfriends?! Leah has pretty much said the entire time, the only reason she is with Jeremy is because she doesn’t know where Corey stands. She gets engaged, gets pregnant, and is still confused as to who she wants to be with. Really?!

    In 2 weeks we get to see Kail hit Javi and they have since married! How does that work?! I also found it very hypocritical that Kail isn’t ready to meet V, but Joe has met all her boyfriends without a problem.

  49. Ashley Said,

    Best recap ever, made my day!
    The whole “I was surprised Joe didn’t rap the letter while Janet hid in the background working the smoke machine…….grill that says YOLO in her mouth/mouf” thing made me peemyself, so thanks for that.
    P.S. If the moon landing can be faked, so could Chelsea’s GED results, just sayin’.

  50. ThisShitIsGettingSadNow Said,

    Leah was definitely enjoying rubbing it in corys face. I felt so bad watching that scene. Bearing a child is supposed to be a special thing and leahs just out here trying to pop them out like a factory. And i legit wanted to SMACK THE SHIT out of her when her mom called her a fertile myrtl (someone should smack the shit out of her mom too) and she just sits there with that dumbass grin on her face like ‘yeahhhh duhhh’. Bitch, THAT IS NOT CUTE WHAT YOURE DOING!!! Cameras around or not, both my mom and my daddy would have put me in check REAL quick. As any good parent would do.

    I was glad chelsea got her ged and seemed to not be so stuck up adams ass. I wasssss annoyed with how she kept saying “theeenk yeeeaaww” to every fuckin body.

    I thought it was funny how blatantly hypocritical kailyn was, saying joe doesnt need to bring isaac around ever girl he wants to fuck, when,if im not mistaken, this is the first chick isaac has been around on joes side. Kailyn has no problem bringing isaac around the dudes shes tying to fuck/ already fucking.
    on another note, my heart broke for her in a sweet way when some tears accidentally slipped out at isaacs bday party. She is hands down by far the best teen mom on the 1-2 franchise and has a very bright future ahead for herself.

    Fucking jenelle. This piece of shit right here. I wish she could have seen the LOOK ALL OF AMERICA GAVE HER AT THE SAME TIME DUE TO THEIR RESPECTIVE TIIME ZONES LAST NIGHT WHEN THIS BITCH SAID “i just like,dont get like, how could you have a child and not care?” i felt the earth shaked as all heads tilted to the left and the rigt in confusion. This bitch is delusional. There is no other explanation.

    Jace has 2 textbook examples of trash and shit for parents. Babs should put him up for adoption as soon as possible and maybe one day he wont remember any of this and it will be like it never happened. Oh, thats right, this shit is filmed.

    I was watching the Unseen Momentz but i got so disgusted I changed the channel to adult swim. Can you guess what disgusted me? Jenelles bitch ass snapping at her mother and making her cry. I was legit cringing and lost my appetite and didnt even want to see the shit anymire. Its one thing when they are arguing in comedic union but all babs was doing was trying to explain/reason with her daughter and she just went bat shit crazy.

    My mom and me argue too dont get me wrong. Its a party of the mother daughter life. Especially when both have a bitch gene in them / us lol. But even when we argue, it makes me sick to my stomach when i take out all my anger on her and instead of arguing back you can tell its just hurting her heart, and then i have to immediately apologize and explain that im mad at myself or whatever im mad at and that im just taking out my anger on her and im wrong and so sorry and love her so much. But this bitch jenelle is a sociopath and has no regard of anyones feelings or thougts. Everything is fine with jenelle when she can get her drugs. When the money runs out or shes coming down or whatever causes her dumbass fantasy of the week to get busted up, thats when she starts loosing her mind.

  51. ThisShitIsGettingSadNow Said,

    Forgot to say this, but doesnt jenelle talk like that guy off of family guy, hes not a main character but he was in an episode doing a cop interrogation w joe and he was like “we ummm, doewnt, uhhm, ” blah blah i dont remember what if he said but if u know what im talking about doesnt jenelle talk just like him!!!

  52. The Pacifier Still in Use at H/S Graduation Said,

    Catelyn’s Chewed-off Fingernail Polish – I have to agree with you there. If you look at their parents, it’s where it has started.

    You know people CAN do better if they want to. When my Mom died, at her funeral (both of my parents are immigrants) one of the things the Priest stated that he was surprised at was that my Mom only had a 3rd grade education (she had to quit school to go to work to help the family) yet, ALL of her kids managed to go to University on scholarships. My Mom was a stay-at-home Mom like Leah, Chelsea and Jenelle and we were all able to read and write by the time we got to school. She actually spent time with us, every day. I look back now and realize how much both of my parents had to give up in order to make sure we were all fed and clothed and my Mother kept us immaculate!

    What makes me so sad is to look at these poor kids and know that with the amount of money their parents are making right now, not a plug nickel is being put away for them. The money is being spent on moving deposits, tattoo’s, piercings, hair, make up and nails, drugs and who know’s what else.

    I’ll help ya out if she is willing to send you Googles… Viva La Googles indeed!

  53. Bubby or Sissy Said,

    All I have to say is… didn’t Andrew have a modeling career in China (wtf?) ?? I agree with the meth theory. The video chat scenes were amazing.

  54. T*ts on a Stick Said,

    Ok nevermind, when I watched the Unseen Moments the preview was on there. Why do they always save the best stuff for the Unseen Moments shows? I legit LOL’d when goggles called Leah a bitch! Too bad they are always hosed by Dr. Panda though.

  55. friggin GED Said,

    What is the deal with MTV and making girls writing letters to each other? Who writes letters? Why would they think that makes things believable?

  56. Bricks chewed up doggy Said,

    ThisShitIsGettingSadNow. NAILED IT!! Felt the earth shake!! I know I felt all the oxygen being sucked up when she said that!! I gasped so hard, I almost passed out.

    Hello IBB followers; am I the only one that noticed Bricks damn dog came back to life during the show? I was half asleep, but it was during the 90 minute show. I’m watching it again, I’ll clarify soon. You’re all hilarious! <3

  57. Bricks chewed up doggy Said,

    here it is, 38 minutes in. The damn dog is alive, and she’s taken ALL her ged tests. AH hA!

  58. Kylee Said,

    Chelsea, I do like her and good for her getting GED, but if she is going to follow her dream of being a hairdresser she needs needs to do something with her own hair like dye it back brown, She looks like crap as a blond!! I like her daddy, Wonder if he is single? JK

    Janelle, Somebody please get some duct tape!! whine bitch complain, whine bitch complain, whine bitch complain….She needs to stop with her her whoa is me constant crap and grow up…In Janelle’s pot damaged brain she somehow thinks that the world has wronged her and her life is soooo bad because of other people, I mean it it’s not like her choices and actions have anything to do with her troubled life of jail, drugs, treatment, losing custody of her son, dead beat boyfriends, assault charges…etc etc
    Also it my heart just hurts for Jace every time Janelle is throwing one of her self created temper tantrums cussing, yelling, throwing stuff and fighting with mom in front of her son..It doesn’t even faze him it’s all he knows from mom And that is really sad because no child should EVER have to witness that kind of behavior..Oh and Andrew is he on drugs? what a weirdo!!

    Kailyn…Is it me or is she always mean mugging everyone? Why was it OK for her to have a boyfriend who was like a pretend step baby daddy to her son and play house with him, but god forbid if Jo has a girlfriend!! Can somebody say HYPOCRITE!! Personally i thought the letter was kinda corny but done with good intentions and very polite and Kaillyn reaction to it was so immature and childish it was comical..She is a hot mess!!

    Leah, OH BOY!! Let see got pregnant at 16 with twins by Corey who she only knew for a very short time, then got married only to cheat on him, got a divorce..Meets Jeremy gets pregnant by him who she only knew for a very short time and then gets married …And she is what 19
    I will keep from commenting anymore on her for now because it would be pages and pages long, I can’t even wrap my brain around that she got pregnant and married again after just getting divorce..

    TOO MUCH BABY DADDY MAMA DRAMA

  59. I pulled out my IUD, Ya'll Said,

    Isaac was so adorable playing rock/paper/scissors. Little Aubree was pretty cute last night, too; she’s more mature than her mother.

    Goggles and Non-Goggles seem to get a lot of high-chair time, and it was another episode where it was cold weather and they were in their diapers eating their breakfast, or whatever. That’s so lazy.

    Poor sad little Jace, he needs rescued. I was shocked how old Barb looked in this episode. Jenelle’s crap is taking a crazy toll on her physically–sad thing is that Jenelle will likely live a long, turbulent life–I hope MOST of it is in prison, though. Andrew looks like a knight in shining armor to me, better to be gone from Jace’s life than a constant hateful, miserable, bitchy and half-hearted presence.

    What can Jeremy and his family be thinking watching how Leah was so half-hearted about their engagement. The girl is shady now, and will always be. She is second worse to Jenelle. Kail is slightly worse than the weirdo Chelsea who is ridiculous and pathetic. Kail being a shady hipocritic bitch ALL the way through this TM2 deal is what I hold against her.

  60. Adumb Said,

    Viva La Googles indeed – lmao! Last night’s episode made me think for a minute these girls were coming to reality and MAYBE getting their shit together. Bricks finally gets her GED, Leah realizes this baby/engagement might not be the best thing, Kail admits she doesn’t want to see V because then it’s truly over between her and Joe, and Jenelle finally figures out creeper Andrew is actually the father. Then the preview for next season came. My god. Shitshow indeed. BTW, modeling contract Andrew? More like Andrew ran for the hills as soon as he heard the word baby. Best thing about this episode? Finding out Goggle’s goggles are transition lenses!

  61. Kimmie Gibler Said,

    I was half listening to the unseen moments when all of a sudden I heard, “I have this braided feather.” BAHAHAHAHAHAH My ears pricked up and I immediatley looked up to see that boy with the feather mullet!! He is the new Asian Friend that Farrah had!!

  62. BricksMaDicks Said,

    To the previous poster (I’m too lazy to scroll up and look) I totally thought I heard either Goggles or Non goggles yell “I’m horny” hahah I died.

  63. BricksMaDicks Said,

    Oh, also, did anyone notice on the Unseen Moments Chelsea said “The max is 130 pounds-I could totally ride in it” HAHAH yeah, okay fatass, sure you only weigh 130 or less.

  64. ibbb's girl Said,

    To SZ: The difference between access and excess really shouldn’t be a worry to you considering you’ve decided to use the terms “rewinded”, and “btw” (which actually means ‘by the way’, NOT between,)……….. …….So, to quote YOU about YOU…”What a moron she is.” LMFAO!!!!!!!!

  65. Houska Dental Said,

    I loved Barb hamming it up after they found out the DNA results.

    lol Chelsea definitely weighs more than 130 lbs, or at least she did in that scene. I wanted to throw my computer when she kept saying “Shit be cray” or whatever in the hair salon.

    Leah loves being stupid, she knows she’s an idiot and she just straight up enjoys it.

  66. Houska Dental Said,

    Also as much as Chelsea’s icky baby voice, bad decisions and ridiculous psychological dependence on Adam get on my nerves, I’ve always been secretly rooting for her. Adam’s sleazy girlfriend carrying Aubree in the S4 preview just pissed me off.

  67. Amber's Acne Said,

    You left out the Unseen Moments! Barb put itching powder in Mike’s clothes (after his third affair) to make him think he had crabs! I was DYING of laughter.

    Also, does Leah dress the twins anymore? When her Mom came over, they were, once again, undressed and dirty in their high chairs. I mean, it’s not like she has a lot to do in the day.

  68. Amber's Acne Said,

    Oh, and I’m incredibly excited that they FINALLY listened to the viewers and decided to air seasons 3 and 4 back to back. The footage is still 8+ months old, but it’s a start. You’ll be recapping for another 13 weeks + Season 4 reunion shows.

  69. IUDidn't Said,

    @IBBB’s girl: We come here for laughs and to make fun of the teen moms, not the other commenters. Relax please. This is not that kind of blog.

  70. tyler loves My-kuhl Said,

    Oh Lord: where to start??? I’m amazed the twins asses aren’t permanently fused to those damn highchairs. Word to whomever said the same thing upthread. I wonder (seriously) how many nights one or both of them slept there because Leah was too lazy to put them to bed. I won’t get riled up this week, but put some fucking clothes on those kids! What an immature brat she was this week. “Be HAPPY for me!!!!” Maybe even your friends know it’s a real bad idea to be knocked up AGAIN, divorced, and have kids now you don’t take care of, all before the age of 20!

    Chelsea: so annoying-uh!!! I’m REALLY hoping Daddy punches Adumbs’ lights out on the reunion. And, no one threw me a party that expensive and festive when I fucking graduated college! That dog in the backyard probably has nothing on the strangle hold Aubree had on Frankie. What a whiny little brat she is! Sorry…but true.

    Kail: ok, arm chair psychologist here, but I see why Kail pushes everyone away (literally, apparently!). Her mom doesn’t love her, hurt them before they hurt me, blah blah. She keeps that shit up, she will be alone. I DID have a newfound respect for Jo this season, until he said to the baby, “tell mommy to fucking relax!!!” Nice, real nice. And “V” (what.ever.) is starting to remind me more and more of Dallas (Ryyyyy’s girlfriend). V really doesn’t strike me as the kind of gal who would go out of her way to make friends with her boyfriends baby mama.

    Janelle: waste of skin, and Andrew is definitely a drug addict. Anyone get the feeling that he got laid the night jace was conceived is because he had “the good shit” that night?!?

  71. tyler loves My-kuhl Said,

    …and one more thing…”Mommy bitch!!!!” Bwahaha! I loved how indignant Leah’s mom was…your daughter is a trash bag…even HER daughter knows it.

  72. tyler loves My-kuhl Said,

    One more thing, I’m sure I’ll get crucified for this (rightly so, I suppose) but I think Isaac is a strange looking child. He looks like a little old man. Although his hair looks a lot better now that it’s cut.

  73. Mommy Bitch Said,

    ALiAnNaH is da bomb. She’s pretty much tied with Ja¢e as the cutest baby on the show.

  74. The Pacifier Still in Use at H/S Graduation Said,

    Bricks chewed up doggy… Sorry, this is a DIFFERENT dog! Her Mother bought her this pup to replace poor Frankie. Her parents enable her SO much, which is why she is like she is.

    I can tell you right now, had I come home at 16 & Pregnant? AFTER my parents killed me, that baby would have been in MY room, with ME taking care of him/her, while I did my homework to finish school because nothing less would have been expected.

    You know, after what happened to poor Frankie, she needed to find an acceptable home to adopt Darla, clean Aubree up and comb that damn rats nest on her head.

  75. ThisShitIsGettingSadNow Said,

    @pacifier exactly!!! First of all i highly highly doubt my parents would let me ruin our family’s name by going on a tv show called sixteen and pregnant. But if i did get pregnant, you better believe that my mom and dad would not go for that “ill watch him tonight but dont think ur goin out friiiidayyy” bullshit. Whats a party? My mom would have told me straight up- that shit is over and done with.

    It cant be that hard jenelle it really cant. I love getting fucked up as much as the next college kid but if i were to bring a child into this world, isnt ur MOTHERLY INSTINCT supposed to kick in like, idk, as soon as u find out ur pregnant? I wonder if she knows (not saying she should have done this but she would be way better off) she could be with her son all day, and once hes asleep, she can go on the porch and smoke her goddamn blunt and unwind. Basically take care of your shit and sure you can have a lil reward that night. Shit, if she would have done it like that she would have a clean record right now. Instead of not giving a fuck abt her son and running behind these trashy ass homeless ass scummy minus the soap ass dudes. She wouldnt have been tresspassing in someones house, she would have been at home w her son.

    @houskasdental you are absolutely right. Leah loves being an idiot. You can tell by how she can say “im pregnant! Why cant yawl just be happy for me” when the bitch probably doesnt even know jeremys middle name, just dropped out of school bc she, and i quote “do have a house (trailor)” and has no job. And shes just grinning. I love poppin out babies i just wanna be a mama.

    Um leah, kailyn has an actual house and she hasnt gotten off track with school not once (that we know of). And kailyns house is actually clean, her son is always dressed, and aside from mental issues due to a fucked uo family and the fact that she is still learning and growing, she has all of her shit together. Leah, how dare you say you dropped out of school to clean when we know for a fact that you are disgusting and leave dog shit and used tampons on the floor for weeks. CPs / defacs anyone?

    Also, that dawn girl that is leahs friend does heroin. So leah, even a dopehead has to tell you that ur life is getting ridiculous? Youre such a winner.

    And i did used to think that isaac looked very weird but he is getting very handome as he grows up.

  76. The Pacifier Still in Use at H/S Graduation Said,

    @Thissadnow… EXACTLY!!! OMG, I could just see my Dad should some TV show pop up on the front door “Here Mr. Pacifier, sign this waiver so we can recap your daughter having illegimate children before her Senior year.” Knowing my Father, he would have also taken it out on said camera crew, and they would be doing penance by mowing the lawn and fixing the fence for having the poor taste to want to film such a thing and for annoying him! Meanwhile, I would still be in my room raising MY child, and obeying the rules that my parents had set down for me.

    Oh wait! Even though I grew up in a rigid Catholic school, and had a 4′8 Nun teaching “health” in my Freshman year, even I knew where the local Planned Parenthood was and that I could get FREE birth control – 30 years ago.

    These girls take DUMB to a whole new high.

  77. butch goes to law school Said,

    im hearing that adam has knocked his girlfriend up…

  78. Money Train Said,

    Oh no, I’m officially trash now. While watching I noticed that Leah and I have the same iPhone cover (purple) and the same Brown comforter on the bed. CRAP! CRAP! I just bought those before Christmas. URGH!! Off to buy a new Otter box and new bedding.

  79. Money Train Said,

    Why am I not allowed to comment?

  80. kerry Said,

    funny, the day jenelle gets to look down her drug residued nostrils at someone else!

    i felt so bad for corey. if he were my type i’d totally get with him and make leah’s life as miserable as possible just because.

  81. ThisShitIsGettingSadNow Said,

    I think corey is going to come out on top in the long run

  82. Andrew you ARE the FATHER Said,

    Chelsea- congrats on finally getting the GED and going to beauty school. Can you please fix your hair and eyebrows, you are a cute girl, before you went blond and decided on the gang girl draw on eyebrows..please go back to natural. Adam in an ass and always will be move on its been long enough

    Janelle- okay pot ( yeah I know you miss smoking it) did you seriously say you don’t know why some people have kids, if they are not taking care of them? WTF have you been doing. Please Barb kick that mess of a daughter out.

    Kai- If I was Joe I would file for joint custody..where do you get off dictating who he can have around your son, when you Guy hop all of the time, having them meet your son on the first date. You need to quit being such a controlling B and start practicing what you preach.

    Leah- oh yeah its great to have 3 kids by age 20, by age 30 you will also be a grandma.. Its just sad and I too agree quit using the highchairs as a babysitter, so you can talk on the phone and text all day. If you can’t handle those two, what are you you going to do when you crap out the other one? Way to go, keep the poverty line running in your family.

  83. Money Train Said,

    Oh no, I’m officially trash now. While watching, I noticed Leah and I have the same iPhone Otterbox (purple) and the same comforter (brown pinstriped)!! URGH!! I just bought them before Christmas. URGH!! Now, I’m off to purchase a new cover and new bedding.

  84. ThisShitIsGettingSadNow Said,

    @moneytrain if it makes you feel any better i have the white ae long sleeve shirt/sweater that both leah and jenelle have

  85. Andrew you ARE the FATHER Said,

    Money Train I live in a trailer .so don’t feel bad. I at least had the common sense to wait until I was 25, to get knocked up by a jackass.

  86. Harmony Said,

    @Amber’s Acne ….Ha ha your so right I don’t think she does Leah dress the twins anymore…

  87. Harmony Said,

    oops too many words above that’s what i get for being on Facebook, Twitter, this blog, and watching lifetime at same time…lol

  88. Money Train Said,

    @ThisShit and @Andrew you – YEAH!! We can all be LO$ER$ together. (J/K) Also, living in a trailer doesn’t make you trash.

    Did you noticed that Jenelle has a ton of LOVE PINK outfits. And Leah has a purple one that she wore most of Monday’s episode.

  89. Let Me Adopt Jace Said,

    Leah makes me want to throw things. I get furious over the fact that she makes more than I do for being a complete idiot and bag of trash. I have a bachelor’s degree, didn’t get knocked up at 16 (or 19, twice), and still don’t make that much money. First of all, how do you think it makes Jermy feel that you are announcing your love for your ex husband on national television while pregnant with his baby? It also pisses me off that Dawn takes no parental responsibility with her either. Give the damn girl some guidance! And don’t even get me started on the filth that is on those twins or the high chairs that the twins are constantly in.

    While Jenelle is trash, and her comment “How can you have a child and just not care” absolutely made my husband and I both do a rewind, it warmed my heart (temporarily) to see Babs interacting with Jace in the park as more than a responsibility, and Jenelle actually play with him on the slide. Sadly, that went away when I watched the unseen moments and watched Jenelle cry over her missing phone. Put that much effort into parenting, dumbass.

    Kail is bi-polar hypocrite. Chelsea is annoying and dumb.

  90. Money Train Said,

    I really hope all these girls the best. However, I don’t see it happening. Except with Kail. Although, she’s not my favorite at least she’s going somewhere.

    Chelsea needs someone to slap her up side the head, stop talking like a baby, stop getting more animals, get your head out your a$$, get your butt in gear and do something with your life. Aubree will benefit much more from a strong independent mother with a good job than she will from having her parents together.

    Jenelle’s a comedienne with her question “How can you have kid and not care?” I honestly don’t know how she said that with a straight face. And I applaud the friend for not spitting out her drink when that was said. I also applaud the cameraman for not dropping the camera.

    Did anyone else find it unusual that Leah told Jeremy over the phone that she was pregnant? He was going to be home in a few hours, why not wait to share the “good” news in person.

    I think any money earned from this show should go directly into a college fund for the kids. I doubt any of them are saving some of the MTV money for that purpose. These kids should go to college, everything about this show should be geared towards making the lives of Aubree, Ali, Aleeah, Jace and Isaac better.

  91. Justina Bobby Said,

    Why did this episode make me want to buy a crapload of those Houska Dental polos Randalicious was wearing and send them out to the IBBB’ers?

  92. The Pacifier Still in Use at H/S Graduation Said,

    @ Money Train – the sad thing is that the girl’s are getting the money. I remember reading when Amber was originally sentenced, one of the conditions of her probation was she was supposed to put a certain amount of money into an Escrow account for Leah. She didn’t… there was a deal just the other day about Gary now being evicted for not paying his rent.

    These poor babies. I really DO feel for them, they didn’t ask for this – and now Leah just spit out another one.

  93. here for boobs Said,

    NO! This re-cap was brought to you by the letter “A”–AWESOME!!! But the letter V was so much funnier….

  94. Hair feathers for Ke$ha Said,

    Patrick, this was a good title but you had a stretch last season with 2 of my favorite titles ever: 50 Shades of Gary and All Farrah’s Exes Live in Texas (and heaven). I still chuckle thinking of those. :)

  95. tyler loves My-kuhl Said,

    Ok, there are TWO used tampons on the floor comments, y’all! A cameraman said that!?! Good Lord. Was that ever shown (ewww) or on a blog somewhere??? Maybe that’s why they are in those damn highchairs 24/7. How trashy, not to mention unsanitary! Leahs been knocked up most of the past three years, when did she find time to be on the rag???

  96. adumb's text message to bricks Said,

    Usually I am on Team Kailyn, but girlfriend was out of line last night. I thought that Vee’s letter was very sweet and gracious. She obviously loves Joe and sees that, in order to have a relationship with him work, she is going to have to accept both Isaac and Kail into her life. Kailyn was just out of line to be so snotty. Vee has offered the olive branch, Kailyn. Why not take it?

    That being said, I teared up when Kailyn started to cry last night at Isaac’s birthday party. They grow up awfully fast.

  97. Me Said,

    Oh man, so much to say. First of all, how sad is it that the thing that I could not get over about the whole episode was how poorly done the leopard print in Landon’s hair was? I had a friend with his whole head like that for ten years that he did himself and it looked amazing. For being a professional, Landon’s looked awful.
    Second, I like Chelsea. I think she seems like a sweet girl and a good mom, but her segments drive me crazy. Her dad reminds me soooo much of my dad, but I am certainly not even close to as spoiled acting as she is. I’m not having to work while I’m in school and my parents did pay for my (much more modest than Chelsea’s house) apartment, but I would have NEVER been allowed to take that long to finish my GED. I just don’t understand why Chelsea doesn’t realize how generous her parents are being and isn’t hurrying up to become independent so they don’t have to keep supporting their now adult daughter.

    After reading a bunch of comments about the twins in diapers last week, I was really hoping people were only referring to the scenes where they were eating. We always took my god-daughters clothes off before feeding her so they didn’t get messy, but as soon as she was done and cleaned up we redressed her. I wanted to give Leah the benefit of the doubt and hope that’s what she did too until I saw the scene this week where both girls were playing in just diapers.

    Finally, the older Jace gets and the more sadness you can see in his face, the harder it gets to watch Jenelle’s segments. Her train wreck life isn’t entertaining anymore. Now all I can think of is how Jace is going to grow up thinking her wasn’t worth anyone sticking around for.

  98. Chelsea's Head That Looks Like A Meringue Said,

    Did Leah have her brain removed along with her IUD? Has she not considered the possibility that her and Germy may split up in the future, in which case she’ll be a twice-divorced mother of three (more) children with no income, no qualifications and no job history? How would she support herself if that happened? The MTV money isn’t going to last forever, you stupid moll.
    Let’s hope that somebody in that family has health insurance, so that at least Goggles can be looked after.

    As for poor Jace, I’ve read reports that suggest children with terrible upbringings effectively reach the point of no return at age seven. In other words, the child that Jace is at just seven years old will be a strong indication of the adult he will become. Jenelle isn’t giving him a chance – she should be so ashamed of her selfishness and the horrible example she’s setting her son. I feel terrible even typing this, but I am so relieved that she miscarried her second child (if she was even pregnant in the first place). Just think about the great life and loving parents Jace could have grown up with if Jenelle had done the decent thing and given him up for adoption? Sad.

    Isaac was a funny lookin’ baby, but I think he’s kind of growing into his looks. He’s getting a lot cuter!

    Finally – to whoever sad that some of the cash these girls are making should be put aside for the babies – YES. Why the hell hasn’t this been done??? Those poor kids didn’t ask to have the first few years of their lives documented in front of a worldwide audience.

  99. BibbityBoppityBoop Said,

    Did anyone else notice that Landon looks exactly like a tanned, flamboyant version of Tyler??

  100. The Pacifier Still in Use at H/S Graduation Said,

    @BibbityBoppityBoop… OMG!!! I have to tell you – that was the first thing out of my husband’s mouth!

  101. Crik Said,

    Quote of the night: ” I got my IUD took out.” Like nails on a chalkboard.

    A good hint when MTV wants you to notice something is when they really focus in on it – like
    Waddle’s (Chelsea’s) hair school test.

    I could have sworn I read that the kids have a trustfund set up by MTV for being on the show. They can’t not pay them. That would be breaking child labor laws, no? That law’s been in place for decades. Even with realty TV. they stopped paying kids via parents ages ago. It’s a law named after one of the Little Rascals.

    Conspiracy, hate to break it to you but Landon likely does not have a girlfriend. Know what I mean?

    Randy’s wife bears a striking resemblance to that chick who used to bang Kermit the Frog. I’ll try to think of her name.

  102. ThisShitIsGettingSadNow Said,

    @tylerloves after i saw the first comment about the tamopon i did some research lol and yes a cameraman on reddit spilled the beans npand then deleted his account ( it was on ask me anything and reddit has to verify the people so im prety sure its legit) but you know people took pictures and saved the page and all that jazz, so i still got to read what it said.

    I can really see jace at about 16 killing him mom and his gma, and i especially hate to say thia part but i could also either see him shooting up his hischool or killing himself. Of course, thats only if jenelke doesnt go casey anothony and kill him and her mom first. Which i could see jenelle doing to.

    What someone said about goggles learning the queens language,getting educated and essentially shiting on her family, i hope jace does that even though all of the odd s are against him.

  103. ThisShitIsGettingSadNow Said,

    His*
    Too*
    Forgive me im ill :(

  104. Conspiracy Man Said,

    Crik, although I was not the one who said that Landon had a girlfriend, I completely agree with your point. That being said, it does not give him permission to completely rip off my style.

  105. tyler loves my-kuhl Said,

    @this shit is getting sad: thanks for the dirty details, literally! I also, sadly agree that Jace has woman hating serial killer written all over him. I can see Janelle getting stoned and having a car crash with the baby in the car and killing him. I completely agree with your screen name.

  106. WV_Geneticist Said,

    @Fertile Myrtle and @IUDidn’t – both fantastic names! What I would give to have a video chat with Barb….

  107. Cory's Interpreter Said,

    I said in a previous post that I wondered what Landon’s girlfriend thought about his hair, but was definitely joking. His only girlfriends are the ones he goes out with for apple-tinis with before the Cher concert.

  108. coreys quivering bottom lip Said,

    I always hated Chelsea the most but after watching this episode Leah has made it to the top….she is disgusting and a piece of trash

  109. tyler loves my-kuhl Said,

    @Corey’s quivering bottom lip: your screen name made me Lol, literally. Maybe he should hook up with Landon, over a few of those Apple-tinis, talk things over….

  110. Anytrash Said,

    Mama June lost 100 pounds!!!!

  111. Conspiracy Man Said,

    Farrah apparently believes that her position as a teen mom allows her bully pulpit privileges over the nation. She has given us a lecture on gun control. I am so impressed that her genius has solved the problems of gun violence in our nation. Her job on the show has obviously qualified her to formulate answers to all of our most serious problems. Her superior knowledge of all the facts and the controlling constitutional issues gave her the stunning insight that nobody else has been able to obtain. If only she would run for elective office, all of our problems would be solved. I can tell by her incredible abilities with grammar and writing that she could write treatise after treatise, solving every problem in her path. She is so smart.

  112. JORDAN GOT HIS BALLS BACK Said,

    when corey was talking to Leah in the parking lot about her being engaged and pregnant.i thought i heard him say,”now all crack whores wear clothes.” but he actually said “all cracked doors are now closed.”

  113. ThisShitIsGettingSadNow Said,

    Farrah is such a moron. I guess that 2yr prestegious cooking school (where u text ur professor a pic of ur final, instead of doing it in school like every final since the history of finals began) really made her feel like a learn-ed woman. I can hear it now

    Deb: farrah i dont think you know enough about the issue to make an informed statement baby theres a lot of reatrictions on-
    Farrah: MOM? REALLY?! Just shut the fuck up you dont know what ur talkeen about. I am a mother and somebody needs to hear my opinions okee?

    Sophia is gonna grow up to be quite the cunt, ill bet money on it

  114. Conspiracy Man Said,

    ThisShitIsGettingSadNow-

    I have an alternate take on the future of Sophia. She will definitely be rebellious, but she will channel her rebellious nature in the time honored way of shunning her mother’s value system. She will definitely be a *unt (I agree with you there), but she will rebel against her mother’s value system in a way that her mother will hate. Since farrah’s value system is firmly rooted in superficial beauty, Sophia will be the goth girl with the full body tattoos, multiple facial and body piercings and blue hair.

    The apple does not fall from the tree, so Sophia won’t get the irony of the fact that she is also making simple superficial statements by rejecting her mother’s concept of beauty. The bottom line is that people like Farrah are so completely caught up in their appearances, they do not realize that the only possible statements that they can ever make is a fashion statement. Farrah’s superficial, kardashianesque concepts of beauty and the goth, extreme hair/mody modifications are simply two sides of the same coin. The only statement that you can make with your appearance is a fashion statement, so these two will march through the years not understanding that the way you look really means nothing other than the way you look. They are too stupid and vain to realize that you can’t really communicate anything by the way you look.

  115. Pirate Mike, stepdad extraordinaire Said,

    Whaaa?? Patrick, no recap of the reunion show? Come back to our grassy knoll. I miss yew!

  116. Adumb Said,

    I too was sad there was no recap of the reunion. Especially after Joe’s gem of a statement: I’m not a psychic I’m a rapper. Lmao! And Andrew’s greased back mullet was spectacular.

  117. Let me Adopt Jace Said,

    I found Leah’s segment to be quite entertaining.

  118. Amber's Pill Bottles Said,

    @ Let me Adopt Jace – I couldn’t tell if Leah was high or on some medication that made her act like she had tics and zero social skills. What do you all think?

  119. The Old Bank Kail Lived In Said,

    Amber’s Pill Bottles, I totally agree about Leah’s tics. I surmised she must have gotten some dope from Janelle. All of those weird expressions and facial contortions, licking her braces–beyond awkward. She already had the braces during filiming; it was very much like she was under the influence of something. Such a strange segment–the writing was painted on the wall during that odd exchange that her marriage to Jeremy is sooooo doomed (but that is a given in my mind, anyhow).

    Andrew made me laugh with his bitchy comments towards Janelle. Scratch the surface and that’s exactly how she is, despite being able to hold it together for these sit-downs with Dr. Drew. She’s had practice. Andrew is way more likeable than she is, but I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him. Poor guy looks like he is legitimately ill–some conseqence of his past drug/alcohol abuse? Or some other serious illness? Sad.

    I wonder if Kail was pissed at the end because of Aubrey biting Isaac after the break, or something else.

    Cute that Aubrey was looking for Barb at the end.

  120. Leah's Braces Mouth Said,

    Oh, I was really REALLY hoping the reunion would be recapped. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from whatever epileptic expressions Leah kept making with her mouth full of metal. And her hands were like 5 shades lighter than the rest of her skin. Patrick, this is PRIME material, how are you passing on it?!

    Jennelle seemed to have her act together (relatively) but her pupils were HUGE.

  121. Janourted Fetus Said,

    Sleeziest person in this whole freak-show? Dr. D.

  122. Amber's Footprint on Gary's Back Said,

    After watching the reunion and seeing what a mess Leah is both physically and mentally, I think it’s obvious that her “miscarriage” was really a trip to the clinic. It would be much easier to unload Jeremy AND get back with Corey if she were without child. I also think that Corey rejected her, so she settled for Jeremy and, voile!, she’s pregnant again!

  123. ThisShitIsGettingSadNow Said,

    As soon as i finish this paper im making it my mission to watch leah’s segment

    @the old bank- aubree bit issac? :( i wonder if it was a legitimate accident or if kail was pissed bc she knows chelsea doesnt (and likely never will) provide any boundaries for her daugher. she was probably just like “ohhh awbrweee silly girl”

    @janourted fetus- i want so bad to like dr drew but he has a creep/perv vibe; also, you have to question the headspace of a dr who is so willing to make bank off of his patients by being on tv, he could be just as successful without exploiting people

    @ambersfootprints- i agree, i always thought leah got an abortion & the way you described it is probably exactly the way it went down

    @conspiracy man- i could see that happening!! “same shit, different toilet”

    can you guys tell i dont want to do this paper?? lol ^.^

  124. Amber's Pill Bottles Said,

    Leah’s favorite answer was, “I don’t know”, said very quickly while her eyes darted downward and then forward…it was extremely creepy, even for the “Teen Mom” franchise, and this includes the Reunion visits by Amber. Leah has some SERIOUS issues going on.

  125. ThisShitIsGettingSadNow Said,

    SIDENOTE: i bet chelsea is going to go bat shit crazy or already is going bat shit crazy over adams new & knocked up gf, cuz she’s really pretty. (chelsea could be too but this girl is a natural skin tone w a natural hair color and a natural speaking voice lol)

    and i could see adam being a complete douchedick and doing everything for this girl and their kid, and being way nicer to her than he ever was to chelsea, just to make her feel like shit.

    as off as this sounds, i’d rather him be a deadbeat to both babies & mamas rather than have one child wondering why daddy loves her sis/bro but not her

    8(

    DO THE RIGHT THING ADAM! *torrance from bring it on voice*

  126. I pulled out my IUD, Ya'll Said,

    ThisSHisGettingSadNow—When Dr. Drew asked the pissed Kail about Isaac’s cheeck & they said Aubree did it, little Aubree lisped, “I bite him.” Chelsea responded: “Say SAWeee!”

    Dr. Drew turns me off as well, and he really doesn’t seem to have much success with the limited interactions he has with all these Teen Moms.

  127. Money Train Said,

    The “crazy-making” comments Dr. Drew kept making were driving me insane. He isn’t much help, he never holds the girls accountable. He glosses over everything.

    I’ve noticed in most interviews Leah plays with her braces like that.

    I also find it interesting how Jenelle is usually sober for these events. And she’s ragging on Andrew for his parenting, when it’s not much different from hers.

  128. Let me Adopt Jace Said,

    @ Amber’s Pill Bottles, I think she is just immature. She talked about how mature she is for 20, but when she was confronted on her feelings about both men in front of both of them, she acted like a psycho because she is unable to have an adult conversation. An adult, knowing how Corey felt (even though he wouldn’t say it), and feeling the same way herself, would not string along another poor guy just because her “true love” wont chase her down. It’s evident how Corey feels about her but he’s right. He shouldn’t have to always chase her.

    Soapbox over.

  129. Leah's Licked Braces Said,

    This episode looked like a casting call for the next Celebrity Rehab. I can see Dr. Drew is as successful preventing teen pregnancy/unprotected sex as he was getting people off drugs. What are we up to now? 4 or 5 OD’d right after getting out of his treatment center.

    Also, I read online that the governor of West Virginia has made Leah’s vagina an official tourist attraction. He was quoted as saying he doesn’t expect that to create any more traffic than usual in that park of the trailer park.

  130. Jenny Said,

    I’m so disappointed there’s no reunion recap! I only watch this dumb show for the recaps.

  131. Catelyn's Chewed-off Fingernail Polish Said,

    Why hasn’t Leah announced the latest spawn moniker? I need a laugh or two today.

  132. Janourted Fetus Said,

    Did anyone notice that Dr Sleeze adopted the whole “shut the door”, “crack the door” vernacular from Corey?

    I had a real POS drunk-a$$ boyfriend for way too long and I used to watch “Celebrity Rehab” just to block him out and piss him off. He used to say, “That MF is the most disgusting slime-ball on the planet! He’s destroying people!”

    That’s why I stayed around as long as I did… He was so right about some things… The sorry-a$$ ba$tard.

  133. Amber's Pill Bottles Said,

    @ Janourted Fetus – that’s “crazy making”!

    Yes, Dr. Drew was driving me crazy-making with that remark as well!

    Anyone else find it odd that we haven’t heard or seen anything about Leah’s latest spawn? Either she truly hasn’t squeezed that puppy out or her ego must be the size of Kansas. I’m curious what she named the little bas – oh wait, I guess it isn’t a bastard. Damn!

  134. ThisShitIsGettingSadNow Said,

    I think its weird that we havent heard or seen anything too, not even a baby name

  135. Jenellesbeerwhileonprobation Said,

    WHAT was Leah on?????

    I have never seen anyone’s arms flail around like that and she was speaking like a toddler. Then she decided she wanted to sit on the couch and look all confused about who to be with? I used to somewhat respect this girl.

    Jeremy- call me! (I know this was months ago)

  136. I pulled out my IUD, Ya'll Said,

    I think she’s signed a deal to get a good chunk a change for the newborn’s name and photos to be released. The girls do learn how to sell out.

  137. ThisShitIsGettingSadNow Said,

    Lol i cant wait to catch up on Monday. If she’s on something (lesser than crack) i will definitely know. Lol. But flailing her arms around sounds like cokeee
    And i wouldnt be shocked, her besty is a heroin addict
    I had no clue leah would be around that but after seein those messages btwn dawn and jenelle i put nothing past her. So yeah. Was she sniffing a little extra?

  138. Corey's Interpreter Said,

    Everybody hating on Dr. Drew…he’s not these girls’ doctor, he’s just the host of a reunion show that’s aimed at a 15 year old girl audience. His job is to go over some of the highlights (for lack of a better word) of the season and give the girls a chance to explain a tad more about what happened and why. There’s not going to be some in-depth psychoanalysis occurring in each girl’s couple of allotted segments. If he used too much “doctor speak”, then it would fly right over these girls’ heads and the ones watching at home. Besides, these girls have proven umpteen times that they’re hellbent on ignoring sound, reasonable advice. This show wasn’t made for people past 17, even though we here have a good laugh at the insanity and then meeting up on this website to make each other laugh. Admittedly, I’d like it if all 4 of them were put into a wooden stockade while Drew took them to task for their insane behavior, but it wouldn’t do any good in the long run. And as far as his celebrity rehab patients go, getting people off drugs permanently is a really tough thing to do that he doesn’t have any control over once they’re released into the world. Couple that with the enablers and hangers-on that populate the lives of famous people and it’s a recipe for failure. I never looked at it as exploiting people, I saw it as a window into a process I knew nothing about and found it really interesting to see what the rehab process was all about.

  139. ThisShitIsGettingSadNow Said,

    I know you cant quit drugs for anyone or make choices for anyone, but he is Dr. Drew after all, the Dr. didnt come from nowhere, and he does more than just mtv and vh1. Im saying as a dr who really claims to care, as he does, knowing ur dealing with idiots and continuing to use them for tv cash makes me question your character. If its a reunion recap, then get one of the other mtv reunion recappers they always use. If u get a dr, im assuming its to to get to business with these GROWN WOMEN, not to act like yall are just having a cup of tea when you have someone who will probably be the next casey anthony, someone who will be 40 yrs old in a trailer still havin babies by every boyfriend she gets, someone whose daughter is gonna be the next jenelle because she is going to grow up with absolutely no rules and a brick for a mother and a trashbag for a father.

    Kailyn is the only one he should have a cup of tea chat with. Everyone else needs a hardcore intervention that is NOT filmed for tv

  140. ThisShitIsGettingSadNow Said,

    I know its nit mtvs job to do anything but get ratings, but dr drew as a person and a doctor sees that this is bullshit and should make a real effort. He claims to care, so actually care. He should understand he has more responsibility than that asian lady and that white chick and that black dude (the ones who usually do reunion shows for mtv)

  141. ThisShitIsGettingSadNow Said,

    As for celebrity rehab, that whole shows concept was a recipe for failure. So these people are fucked up bc theyve always been in the spotlight, so while they are in recovery, lets put them back in the spotlight? Um…..no.
    We ALL know vh1 doesnt give a fuck about anything but a punchline, but dr drew knows better. He knew that was a dumb idea. But he accepted it anyway.

    There are alternative ways to treat these people, sure no cameras would be involved and sure that might mean a little less cash, but it would have the potential to be a real recovery, not another tv show.

    In conclusion, what im saying is i feel like he had the choice to take a lesser paycheck and make a real difference, but instead he chose be on tv and scrape the surface in these peoples lives.

    Your classic celebrity doctor, only in it for the tv time and moolah.

  142. Corey's Interpreter Said,

    You’ve got some really unrealistic expectations for what you think should go on during these reunion shows. What evidence is there that these girls would respond to someone getting in their face and getting down to business? These girls are in the situations they’re in to begin with because they’re inherently resistant to authority figures and make terrirble decisions. Getting in their faces and putting them “on blast” (as the kids say nowadays) on national tv is going to be counterproductive. As you said, these are (chronologically) grown women and can’t be forced to do anything except by the courts. Dr. Drew spends a few hours with these girls when they film these reunions and in my opinions he generally asks questions to find out why the participants act the way they do and give them some direction, but it’s up to the girls themselves to act upon it. And Dr. Drew is an Internist, strictly speaking. He’s got experience with psychological issues through rotations in other fields, talking to screwed up kids on “Loveline” for a hundred years, his work with addicts, and I’m sure other training, but he’s not a psychologist by trade.

  143. Corey's Interpreter Said,

    As far as celebrity rehab goes, I think the positives outweigh the negatives. It created more awareness of what the rehab process is actually like and helped clear up misconceptions. It’s hard to say how many people watched the show and realized that they or a loved one had a problem and needed help and subsequently got it. During the sex rehab show, Penny Flame aka Jenny Ketcham agreed to go on the show with the intent to sabotage it and make a joke out of it to get some self-promotion. Instead, she ended up realizing she did have some issues that needed to be addressed and made changes to improve her life. You’re going to have some sad stories like with Mindy McCready because it’s not a simple or easy process and many of the people who came on the show were already on the edge of death like Mike Starr and Jeff Conaway, but many who were on the show either became sober or were on the path to a lasting sobriety. I’m fine with agreeing to disagree about Dr. Drew/Teen Mom/Celebrity Rehab, but I have a lot of respect and admiration for him and wanted to give another POV. Now, let’s get back to the Tuesday morning joking, shall we? :)

  144. Janourted Fetus Said,

    @ThisShitIsGettingSadNow…. That’s what I’m talkin bout.

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