08
Teen Mom Recap: Counting with Corey
How the hell long have I been gone for? Do these girls still own their babies or have they given them up to kind white-folk in exchange for self-tanner contraptions and an endless supply of candy cigarettes? I hope everyone of you had a great Christmas and New Year. If there are other holidays during that time I an unaware because my Jesus tells me other holidays don’t matter so much. He also let me know that Santa is actually a skinny Indian woman. Who knew? Either way, since it’s been a spell why not click here and follow me on my Facebook page so that we can be bound together for life…or until I hit 5,000 friends and Facebook shuts me down.
Jenelle - Well a lot has changed since I was on hiatus like the cast of Friends over the summer. Sure. Jenelle is back on her meds and, well, that’s about it. Actually that’s not it. Jenelle and her friend both have permed their bangs and decided to meet up at some restaurant that’s the kind of low-class place that has a screen door. You know the kind. At this point I’m pretty sure Jenelle just places ads on CraigsList to find some Captain Rando to sit across from her whilst MTV films Jenelle whine about the latest problems in her life. Either way, this chick looks like she already hates Jenelle and if she has any memory of her I’m sure there is some grudge she holds as I would assume Jenelle probably tried to kidnap her and sell her into slavery in exchange for “the damn weed.” Anyjunk, this bricks is here because Jenelle needs to tell someone that her relationship with her live-in almost-sorta-boyfriend, Josh, isn’t really going as wonderfully as she originally planned. That seems kind of odd because I was always under the assumption that bipolar people off their meds made very rationale decisions. I mean just look at Britney Spears. She was off her meds and got really good at umbrella handling. Oh, and a short time later she was being paid $15 million dollars to say, “I think that was good” into a microphone for 8 weeks on the X-Factor all whilst a large awkward looking Kardashian walked back and forth across a stage and read from a teleprompter next to AC Slater. To sum up, I may have hallucinated all of this. Moving on, Jenelle thinks that Josh is immature and thinks everything is “funny all the time” when things “really aren’t funny.” Odd. With Jenelle’s sunny disposition you’d think she’d like to laugh on the regular. At one point, the curly CraigsList killer sitting across from Jenelle spouts out some attitude in regards to Barb thinking she is Jace’s mother. Please. Barb is Jace’s mother and father. She’s his sister and brother. She’s his Captain and Tennille.
Later, since the cameras are up, Jenelle decides to take Jace to the pumpkin patch so she can spend some time with him and he can take 3 minutes to try and put a face with the name. When they get back to Malibarb Barb’ies Beach House she is greeted by both Barb and Pirate Mike. It’s tremendous to see those two crazy kids trying to mend fences. Somewhere in North Carolina I’m sure a Hooters waitress is headless in a dumpster right now. Most likely the corpse is being used as a blanket by Keiffah (Mr. Disrespectful there). I don’t even know what’s happening at this point except that Jace is barking at everyone and they’re all barking bark. As one would. Even Pirate Mike gets into the game and gives out a giant “Grrrrr” which I believe is also the standard mating call for Barb. Since she typically looks like she’s in heat I’m sure she’s down for a game of “Slice the Walmart Deli Meat.” My favorite parts, of course, is when Barb is slurring the hell out of her conversation with Jenelle. She starts with, “How’s yaw moods swings goings?” It’s like, slow down on the extra “s’s” Barb! I’m kidding. Add more. And whilst you’re at it, add me on Facebook. Of course the conversation gets heated because Jenelle is just about ready for her own personal 5150 and Barb ends it by yelling, “You know WHAT!?!” and then just says, “Bye” in a soft voice. How Barb doesn’t have her own line of talking greeting cards at Hallmark is beyond me.
Jenelle made it seem like that was a “heated fight” but that is just the cost of doing business at Barb’s casa-de-crazy. The whole Classless Bunch was supposed to take Jace out for the day, but Jenelle is sick per usual and is in bed. She seems to think it’s just her meds not working yet, but Josh spills the beans to Barb that she may have added some meds to already prescribed meds. Basically she’s on enough medication to remove the freckles from your standard Lohan child. Barb is pissed because she’s all dressed up in a summery white flowing skirt and no place to go. Although Josh is saying he’ll still go with them and even Pirate Mike looks like he’s into this threesome that the Universe has just set up. You can see the look on Barb’s face that says, “Well God damn if I knew I’d have two of yous I would have raked the backyard.” Although the sexy times are short-lived because Barb wants to get back into that house and start it up with Jenelle. This is so second nature to Barb that she just yells towards Jenelle, “What, you drink on those pills?” Soon after Jenelle is crying in the fetal position so I’d say she’s handling everything well. Barb finishes their “talk” by saying, “Every bloody week we gotta disappoint Jace.” I’m thinking the use of the word “bloody” was a shout out to Barb’s British fan base. Well played, Barb, well played. Also, bangers and mash. I once knew a girl with that nickname. She is “el prostitute” now.
In the end, Jan-Jan has her 10th nervous breakdown of the season and her 27th breakdown since MTV has been filming her and she cries and claims she just wants to spend time alone with Jace. Yuck, creepy. It’s times like this that I really ponder, “WWKD.” I mean, besides wheeze glitter out of her busted crotch.
Leah – Hey y’all I’m in the trashiest love triangle food stamps can buy, y’all! Leah is in quite the county fair pickle because her beaver-woodchuck-mix ex-husband wants to quite possibly get back together, yet she’s now in a relationship with some dude she “met on Facebook.” Either way, she’s bound to wind up dead. Inside, that is. It’s a new year and a new me! I jest. I’m still as horrible as before, just more well rested. Leah and her rack decide it’s time to tell Jeremy what Corey texted her the other night. Now since Jeremy seems he’s the brain-twin of Corey, I’m thinking it’s taking a couple of seconds to really sink in. Either that or, like me, he’s trying to figure out why Leah says “try” like that. It’s like there’s just one “y” not 15 “i’s” followed by 10 question marks. After some awkward looks, Jeremy finally says that there won’t be no more Jeremy if Leah tries to get back with Corey. Then he says he’s now nervous about leaving Leah alone for the week while he goes to work. Really? Uh, isn’t he the one who lays the pipe for a living? See what I did there? Me neither.
While Jeremy is away playing real life Mario and Luigi, Leah decides to reach out to Corey to see if they should talk. Hopefully when that happens the girls pick up a couple of words because it would really help with constant whining that comes out of them on the regular. I’m kidding. They’re the sweetest girls this side of the Mason-Dixon and look just like Nana. I think the perfect place to talk about their “future” is at Corey’s trailer whilst they sit on a couch covered with multiple quilts that are most likely hiding “time of the month” stains and in front of wall to wall wood paneling. I mean they could sit in silence and simply look around and the Magic 8-Ball question of their future is all around them. Just like poor grammar and low ambition. In a split second, Leah pretty much makes the decision that she wants to get back with Corey. She must have been hypnotized by his camo trucker hat string blowing the ceiling fan (puke) wind. This quickly turns into a “teaching moment” because Corey counts with his fingers how many months it’s been since their divorce was final y’all. Thank God the timeframe was just 6-months because had it been 11-months it’s a safe bet to say he’d be pantless, pointing at his ding-dong, and shouting “11?” All that math must have been too much for Corey to handle because in an instant Corey has second thoughts and isn’t sure if this is what he wants because he’s scared.
Later, Leah and Corey meet up to “exchange the girls” with each other. No comment. Anyway, they decide to talk once again in Corey’s truck where all adult decisions are made (with the exception of condom wearing during the intercourse). Corey is still not 100% sure what their future will be like and Leah is starting to see that this may not be the best decision for her. Lucky for her she has Jeremy laying pipe somewhere across town waiting for her to call him so he can, well, lay the pipe. I’d just like to go on record that since I learned he works with pipes I will not be stopping any “laying the pipe” jokes. Thank you for your attention to this detail. Moving on. Corey can’t see what to do or what to decide and at one point he just says, “I wish they never invented divorce.” Right. Makes sense. Right after Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin he moved right on to inventing divorce. Leah decides that she needs some advice from her mom and mom’s husband-brother-uncle about what she should do. Her mom sits in silence, but Uncle Kracker seems all pissed off. It’s like, relax dude, you’re not her real dad…you’re still in the running to be the future baby daddy.
Kail - The Cowardly Lion is heading off to Austin, TX to see if the great Wizard is willing to give her some courage and just a hint of a chin. Strapping on her Audrina Patridge “The Hills” cosutme hat she’s ready to hop on her 10 seater plane and pray to sweet baby J (Janet) that her arse isn’t big enough to take down this puddle jumper in an ode to Aliyah. Ugh R.I.P. What a terrible August day that was. What could have been. She was the Patsy Cline of our generation…except not country and not white. Other than that, same/same.
Anychin, Kail (sometimes pronounced “Kay-elle”) heads off to Austin and is greeted by her cousin who is sporting some Suzanne Somers hair and what I can only guess to be carefully hidden FUPA. She speaks sort of high and is acting like she barely knows Kail, which I’m guessing she really doesn’t except from sending her some Facebook fan mail. After their 25 second awkward conversation is over her cousin says, “Ok…well….take a nap….and we’ll go to dinner later.” I mean she flew to Texas from Pennsylvania, not New Zealand. Yeesh.
Later at dinner Suzanne and Kay-elle are chatting about all things camera worthy, like is she’s going to try and meet up with her dad while she’s visiting. Kail decides that since the last time she tried to spend time with him when she was 6-months pregnant he had no teeth and asked her for $20 dollars, she decides to pass this time around. No teeth and looking for money? What I wouldn’t give to see what it was like the first time he and Suzi met and which gutter they conceived Kail in. As soon as my time machine is completed that’ll be my first stop. Suzanne is telling Kail about all the wonderful things to see and great opportunities that Austin has to offer. She then asks Kail what she’d like to do and Kail decides that she’d like to ride a mechanical bull. Something tells me she’s the same person who will purchase and wear the foam headpiece and torch from the Statue of Liberty whist visiting NYC. Either way, they both ride the bull and I like to pretend that Janet was dressed like the matador, holding the red sheet, and booty shaking while telling “toro! toro!” Ahh the dreams I’ll have tonight.
In the end, Kail meets up with her half-sister that she doesn’t really know and this chick pretty much looks like Kail except shorter and gives her a ring as a present. That’s nice and not creepy at all. Apparently mini-Kail doesn’t talk to her dad either and so these three misfits decide they should be each others family on the regular. Kail really wants to move to Austin but isn’t sure if Jo and his family will go for it. Sure she’s having fun now, but once she has that screaming baby with her she can say goodbye to the bull and the blocks and blocks of fun bars. She’ll be in the same position as she in now…living in a converted Burger King, but this time she’ll be eating more tacos…one would assume.
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Chelsea – Wants to meet her future husband taking the GED test. #DreamBigBricks
Craptastic Thoughts from IBBB Readers!
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IBBB Said,
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-IBBB
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Kyla Said,
I loved the Cowardly Lion comment-so very true! I found her chin (or lack thereof) particularly distracting in this episode. Every time she speaks (whines) I am scared her entire jaw will drop off onto her oversized shirt like what happened to Gina Davis in Beetlejuice near the end when she was “dying”. Although, that was more attractive than what is going on here.
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butch goes to law school Said,
i thought youd love barb in her dress.she did that just for you.did anyone see the previews where chelsea kills her dog?
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Conspiracy Man Said,
Catfish blew away TM2 last night.
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SZ Said,
Captain and Tenille, Eli Whitney, Suzanne Sommers, Patsy Kline…thank you for dredging up these blasts from the past, for showing your smarts, for showing your (and my) age, and for making me feel less pathetic that at my advanced age I’m watching and loving this trash!
Also, we all know MTV laughs at the thought of mindful editing, but they’re not even trying anymore! There were so many obvious editing flaws last night – it drove me crazy! For pete’s sake hire some high school AV club kids for $2 hr and let them do it.
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Adumb Said,
I would def by Barb’s greeting cards! I can just hear it now: have fun with your boyfriend!!! Magical.
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Brenda Walsh Said,
@butch goes to law school – I am so confused about the death of Chelsea’s dog because I feel like she mad a big fuss last year on Twitter about how he ran away and was lost. Seriously, those girls should not be dog owners (or parents, but it’s a bit late for that)
@SZ – Ah, the editing last night was TERRIBLE! Leah told Corey it was September then two minutes we see Chelsea running to her mailbox in a goddamn blizzard. What??
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Brenda Walsh Said,
Apparently I need some editing skills too. That should say “she MADE a big fuss” and “then two minutes LATER”
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Vajiggle Jaggle Said,
Best lines:
“While Jeremy is away playing real life Mario and Luigi”
“Right after Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin he moved right on to inventing divorce.”
“is greeted by her cousin who is sporting some Suzanne Somers hair and what I can only guess to be carefully hidden FUPA.”
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Conspiracy Man Said,
I noticed that the Huffington Post recap has picked up even more aspects of ibbb style. That is some pretty serious theft. As far as I know, this is the only place that really focused on Kailyn’s washing habits (until now). There was also a very suspicious FUPA reference that had to be nicked from today’s article (different person’s FUPA referenced, but it seemed too coincidental – it was also spelled “foopa” in an obvious attempt to pretend that ibbb’s recap was not read prior to writing the Huffington one).
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does she?!!! Said,
Seriously though, does Kail EVER wash her hair? It is always greasy and disgusting! I could rub a jar of vaseline in my hair and it would look cleaner than hers!
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Tyler loves My- kuhl Said,
Two weeks you were gone, Patrick….Two whole weeks!!! Please don’t leave us for that long ever again…..K ???? I kept hopping onto IBBB everyday like Bricks checking her phone for messages from Adumb….like Kail waiting for Jo to swing by her section 8 housing for a soapy interlude in her shower…like Barb waiting for that goddamn little bitch of a dawtah to get out of the Kesha concert and come home….like Janelle waiting for probation to finally be over so she can smoke the ganja. ….like Ja$e, goggles and non….Aubree- uhhhhh….and Isaac for some in fucking social services to remove them and give them to real families who love them more than weed, getting laid, and ke$ha. ok, I’m done….welcome back!!!!
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Amby's Hand Piercing Said,
I was hoping last night was the episode that Leah tells everyone she’s pregnant! And, then she would say “but i dont knows who the fathers is of it” ha.
owell, theres always next week! -
Janelle's Ugly Feet Said,
Janelle’s “mood swings” and feeling sick we all know now is her coming off of heroin and being dope sick now that she has admitted Keifer got her hooked on the stuff and poor Barb had her committed to the nut barn about 5 weeks ago when she found her half dead with the needle and such….
Janelle is a piece of shit. If she ever gets back custody of Jace it will be a miracle like the virgin birth.
SO HAPPY to see Pirate Mike back on the scene…I instantly thought of you all and Patrick and how happy we would all be.
Chelsea…go fuck yourself. Chelsea’s father = what the hell is wrong with you? Stop paying this chick’s bills and maybe she would get off her fat ass and do something besides baby talk and look like a fat ass barbie doll who’s hair was left in some chicken soup over night and hardened up. (Yes, it happened to mine)
Kail…Joe used you to get some …get over it….move on and marry the next guy you meet.
Leah……..soon you will look like your mother if you pop out a kid every other year. Just close your legs.
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The Genius that is Chelseee Said,
I love how self congratulatory Chelsee was when she barely passed the Social Studies portion (540 or 64(?)% or D) and something like 80% or C on the Reading portion. You would have thought she scored 110 on each one. High Five my ass. Poor lil Aubree has no idea why she has to constantly slap palms with her idiot mom.
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Wednesdaystreat Said,
It was really weird w/out you, Patrick! Sheesh!
Leah: Her step-dad KILLS ME! He’s such the authority figure in their lives. He tries to be such a bad ass. Makes me LOL all the time.
Chelsea: Annoying. “You never know where you’re going to meet your husband!” OMG girl. Get a life.
Jenelle: I knew you’d be so happy with Barb’s dress/the return of Mike and the growling aat Jace. They are making their portion of this show FOR YOU!
Kail: Her half sister was the total mini me of her! Her Dad’s gene’s must be very strong–as I’m sure his body odor is, since that other girl isn’t lucky enough to have Suze as a mom!
I also agree that Catfish blew this boring stuff out of the water last night. WOW!!!!!!!
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Chin cysts Said,
Has anyone seen the preview scene for next week’s crapisode? Kail calls up SuziQ on her buddy’s phone and Suzi hangs up on her a bajillion times. Suzi you lil minx!
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BricksMaDicks Said,
Patrick, please oh please start recapping Catfish and/or Buckwild. I’m so over these boring girls. However, what the hell was up with Chelsea’s hair? It looks like she has long hair underneath and put a hair cap for bald old men on top of her head. Shit, I wouldn’t let that Bricks come within 15 ft. of my hair. Also, Jenelle…grow up. Thanks. Bye.
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Catelyn's Chewed-off Fingernail Polish Said,
I love the way Leah giggles and blushes at the thought of being the most beautifulest and irresistablest girl in the holler. Does her magnetism have anything to do with MTV cameras loitering about her sexy trailer? Dunno.
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Kyyyy's Shart Said,
Kailyn, Kaylie, and McKayla…how did they all manage to have the same name?!
At one point in Bahb’s and Jenelle’s argument I was like WTF! Jenelle said something like, “Well now that I’m not living here I don’t get to see Jace much and I would like to!”………..ummm?? When you WERE living there you didn’t even see him that much, either!
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J Said,
Chelsea’s dog just is injured, not dead…supposedly. She probably put the leash on the kid instead of the dog.
I loved how excited Chelsea was about passing some of her GED tests. I wish I was that excited about graduating from college. Ah, the joys of being dumb.
Also, I think spammers have infiltrated the comments system. Time for captchas (or whatever that obnoxious word is)?!
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butch goes to law school Said,
bricks,ive said that before about chelseas hair.all the fan pages rave about her hair and im like,wtf?im no hair stylist,but my hair looks 10 times better.im guessing its because im acquated with this thing called a brush..and shampoo..
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Kyyyy's Shart Said,
Oh gosh there is a story on Yahoo about Farrah waxing Sophia’s eyebrows…erm, unibrow…while Sophia was asleep!!
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Wednesdaystreat Said,
Also, when Leah and Jenelle had their hair in ponytails, they had the SAME dye job! Reddish brown under the ponytail and blonde everywhere else!
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Jenellesbeerwhileonprobation Said,
Patrick may have disappeared because everyone keeps begging him to recap every show on the planet. Just a thought..
The camera was bouncing so bad during the part where Chelsea was hanging up her scores on the fridge I almost barfed. I could not make out a thing Corey was saying on that couch. Just saw fingers being counted. MTV should subtitle everything that comes out of his mouth.
Who talks to their father about becoming a stripper? Even jokingly?
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grassyknoll Said,
Thanks be to Santa Christ you are back! Tuesdays have not been the same without you…
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T*ts on a Stick Said,
Welcome back Patrick!
Geez, Jenelle is constantly whining and crying that all she wants to do is spend time with Jace and yet she can’t stay in the same room with him for more than 5 minutes without leaving and not even saying bye.
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Just Sayin Said,
Good thing Leah didn’t ask him to count her sex partners – he’d have had to remove his shoes, LOL and I think NONE of us are prepared for that!
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Wednesdaystreat Said,
Also, I LOVE how Leah’s parents (or the Dad thing) was like, “NOBODY TRIED HARDER THAN YOU!” UM, she cheated. A lot. Get real.
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早泄的治疗方法 Said,
拜读了，有空我们聊聊。
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Chelsea's Head That Looks Like A Meringue Said,
OK, I have to ask – what is a FUPA??? Did I miss the recap that explained that or is it an American thing? (I live in New Zealand.)
Kyla, your comment about Beetlejuice made me giggle…I love that movie. Now when I see that scene in the future I’ll think of Kail No-Chain and laugh.
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Chelsea's Head That Looks Like A Meringue Said,
Oooh, and I know that the unibrow story involves a Teen Mom 1 girl who we are all desperately wishing would just fade into oblivion already, but seriously??? That kid is three years old!!!
Farrah even said that she felt like a “good mom” in the post – fucking REALLY? Good mothers do not teach their toddler daughters that their looks are everything and that minor imperfections are a major flaw in who they are as people. Grow up, you stupid fool, and may God grant you several ugly children as karma.
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dwidget Said,
YAY!! Welcome back-it’s been so long! I was having a horrible week and needed a pick me up so I went back and started re-reading the old recaps of shows. Just what I needed! Love this blog-best thing I have ever found of the internet.
You need to read Farrah’s blog on why she plucked Baby goo’s unibrow. I believe at one point she actually uses the sentence “so here I am faced with a STANDOUT HISTORICAL MOMENT IN MOTHERHOOD”…bitch, you are talking about tweezing your 3 year olds brows in her sleep! She shouldn’t have gotten pregnant-she should have just bought one of those creepy doll heads that you can color their hair, cut it, do it’s make up…and it all grows back! Ugh. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. So glad you are back! My Tuesdays are whole again!
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Crik Said,
Was Janelle on heroin at that point? That would have definitely come up in a drug test. Josh said she was taking clonapin. Mixing that with her bipolar meds and booze could cause a nasty hangover. And the benzo would come up in a pee test but she probably has a script for it.
Why the efffff does Leah pronounce Jeremy’s name like Jamie? It’s like Rine (Ryan) all over again.
I kinda see where Kail was coming from with the nap if she had the 5am flight. Freakin’ worst ’cause Philly airport is such a mess you have to get there more than an hour early at 5am “rush hour.” The restaurant she met her sister at is across the street from my first Austin apartment. No real reason for mentioning that. Though there is something to say for this whole bull riding nonsense. I’ve been here more than three years and haven’t seen a mechanical bull once. However, I don’t hang out on 6th st.
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Kail's Greasy Braids Said,
it makes me sad my long comment earlier didn’t publish. i’m doing the Farrah ugly cry as I type this
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Tyler loves My- kuhl Said,
@janelle’ s ugly feet: Janelle was on heroin?!? I didn’t know/hear about that!!! Not that I’m surprised in the least…whatta trash bag. And, am I the only one who thinks Chelsea and Randalicious’ s conversation bordered on “flirtatious”??? It really creeped me out! That’s not a normal father/daughter relationship….ick.
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louis vuitton bags Said,
Excellent read, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing a little research on that. And he actually bought me lunch because I found it for him smile Therefore let me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch! “The capacity to care is what gives life its most deepest significance.” by Pablo Casals.
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louis vuitton purses Said,
You have brought up a very great details , thanks for the post.
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Crik Said,
Tyler, Janelles heroin abuse is chronicled everywhere. Is it all true? Who knows. And while I agree she’s made awful choices, I wouldn’t call her garbage for having an addiction. I’m pretty certain she’s the most mentally ill Teen Mom. Maybe slightly moreso than Amber. Howvever, if janelle didn’t have a mom enabling her so badly – like Amber- maybe she’d be in prison by now, too. It’s more sad than anything
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chelsea's GED she will never have Said,
Chelsea- you dropped out of HS life 3 years ago & still don’t have your GED, you also have no job- you are so freaking dumb!
Leah- Why does no one ever bring up the reason they got divorced? She tried did she- was that trying while she was fucking her ex boyfriend before she got married & after? You cheated on Corey- you are the loser.
Janelle- no words
Kail- Why is she even on this show?
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Chin cysts Said,
Jenelle is totally on heroin. Barbara was caught saying it over the phone to Kieffah’s mom, telling her that it was Kief who got her bitch of a dawghtah hooked on it. Kief’s mom recorded the conversation and it was put on Youtube.
@Chelsea’s Head That Looks Like A Meringue – FUPA is a “fat upper pussy area”. You know that pooch older women have between their belly button and crotch, that’s what it’s called.
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louis vuitton purses Said,
Thanks for helping out, excellent information. “If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. Men will believe what they see.” by Henry David Thoreau.
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Tyler loves My- kuhl Said,
@crik: while I will respect your opinion, and I appreciate the scolding, I called her a trash bag not because of her addiction, but, because of the fact that EVERYTHING from that loser Kieffer to a Kesha concert takes precedence over her own child. I stand by my trash bag ruling. If don’t agree with me, well that’s your opinion.
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Suzanne Sommers Said,
Chelsea- I wish you would recap her and skip Eeyore. Is Adam the only single guy in South Dakota? Why hasn’t she met someone else? It’s not like work or school is keeping her busy.
Kail- ugh. Anyone who names their kid after the ugly Hanson should not be allowed to parent.
Leah- so in September she’s not sure who she wants to be with but by the end of that year (what was it? 2011?) she is married & pregnant already. Wow.
Jenelle- She is as delusional as Amber & Farrah. Thank God for Barb and her comments.
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JanellesUgly Feet Said,
Tyler is right….Janelle is trash….and not because of her addiction….but because she is self centered and cares about nobody but herself…she throws away the help offered her to deal with the addiction and thinks the world owes her everything.
So does Chelsea. But her father is the one I blame for that…she is really a five year old. Poor Aubrey.
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Jace can't talk Said,
Corey in his hat and sleeveless tshirt saying he has “butterflies” was so romantic while looking at his gross armpit hair. Him and Gary both need to realize those beards make their double chins look bigger not skinnier. Corey also looks like his nostrils have been sewn shut.
Last week the producers had Chelsea “talk” to a hair school. Didn’t they do that scene 2 years ago?
Jace Can’t Talk. At All. Barb does the minimum amount of care. Clothes, food, bath, bed. Maybe that is an insight of Janelles parenting.
Janelle says the word “but” like “bwu-it”. Gets on my nerves.
Aubrees hair is pityful, its thin and a mousy brown color. Chelsea is going to mess with it like Farrah waxed Sophias brows.
Leah’s “scene” telling Jeremy about Corey, in her trailer bedroom, laying on the bed. Trashy Hookah
Two weeks ago, Ali and her little floppy hand, smacking Aleve on the head was great. I am the mother of twins, one has Down Syndrome, so I always root for the underdog twin.
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The Pacifier Still in Use at H/S Graduation Said,
As hilariously funny as this show is, and even funnier are the recaps – and honestly? I find that I have to watch the show so I know what is going on here in the recaps… The sad thing to me? ALL of these kids, on Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2 are all terribly far behind on EVERYTHING. None of them have the vocabulary/speech skills they should, and it seems like none of them have any little playmates that are their own age. They are all products of being raised by mothers that were not only too young to have them, but who are all too self centered to see what they are doing to their kids; all while they are out pursuing their next boyfriend/husband, partying and flunking out of school. It just makes me sad.
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Amber's Pill Bottles Said,
@ The Pacifier – thank you! Especially for the observation of so few playmates for these kids – I think the other night was at least the third time in this series that Bricks has told her dad, when he mentions Aubree’s need for social interaction with other kids, “I’m her friend”. Sophia clearly doesn’t have much social interaction with other kids and Bintlee, well, we remember his numerous “introductions” to daycare and being away from Maci…
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Corey's Interpreter Said,
I assumed when Jenelle took Jace to the punkin’ patch that she assumed it was like the cabbage patch where the dolls come from and that some more functional family would take him home with them. The Mansons spring to mind.
Chelsea-uh actually looked for a rubber ducky potty when Aubree-uh handed it to her, like it was actually her response to which potty she wanted. That’d be a good association to make with a toddler. Condition her to shit in a duck’s mouth or on its back at an early age. It’ll make for some interesting trips to the pond in the park.
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Chelsea's Head That Looks Like A Meringue Said,
Chin Cysts – thank you for clearing that up! That has been bothering me for a while.
I agree that Jenelle is the biggest fuck-up out of the bunch and think that she is more messed up than Amber. I secretly hope that Amber will sort her stuff out in jail so that she can be a decent mother to Leah…I couldn’t care less about what happens to Maci, Farrah and Catelynn, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Amber turns her life around; if only for her daughter.
Amber always seemed more depressed than insane, but Jenelle really is the worst. Her constant drama-queen antics and disrespecting everybody she meets have resulted in me having zero sympathy for her – addiction or no addiction. As crazy as Barb is, she tries to be supportive and is raising Jenelle’s child for her. Amber never seemed to have any family support and was obviously manipulated by Gary.
Seriously, MTV – just kick Jenelle off the show (keep Barb, obviously) and get her to de-activate her Twitter account for good while you’re at it. I’m not even on the Twitters and even I can’t get away from her attention-seeking.
OK, that’s enough rambling. Sooooo pleased you’re back, Patcick!
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Corey's Interpreter Said,
Leah’s STILL going on about getting flowers for the first time? Is THAT all it takes to get West Virginia girls to drop trow? If this is the first time she’s gotten flowers, then it didn’t even take THAT small amount of effort to get into her coal mine.
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grassyknoll Said,
Ugh, is there a way to get rid of these Louis Crouton spams?
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Tyler loves My- kuhl Said,
I agree with all who posted that all the kids seem behind in basic skills. Poor Jace seems so lonely, does anyone hug that kid…ever?!? I hope there is room on the grassy knoll for him when he gets older. While the other moms don’t have their shit together by any means, at least you see lots of kisses and cuddles given to Aubree- uhhhhh, Isaac, and Ally- oop/Aleve. Jace always looks sad, poor kid….he is such a cute little bugger.
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Amby's Hand Piercing Said,
I agree– whenever i see Jace i want to burst into tears. Thanks to Barb and Jenelle, the world feels bad for him:( as they should!
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Wednesdaystreat Said,
Oh I almost forgot about Chelsea and “I’m her friend!” Oh good god. The cycle continues!
Not surprised these kids have no real friends. What parents want them on TV besides these trash bags?
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Kail's Bull Said,
I know right, again, Jace just looks so sad. He never talks, barely smiles. While I think Babs is great for taking care of him, I doubt she’s parent of the year. He really just should have been adopted, seriously why the eff did Jenelle even keep him?
And one thing that really annoys me, is that Babs is always referring to him as “the baby”. First off, he’s not a baby anymore, second he does have a name..which I’d hope you know by now.
Just in disbelief (well not really) that once again Jenelle is crying about needing more time with Jace, then the day she’s meant to spend with him she’s sooo sick. Well I’m a mother to 2 boys 5 months and 3, and guess what, if I feel like shit, I have to get up and take care of them anyway. Suck it up for one day and then at the end of the day at least you get to go back to bed and forget about your ’son’ again. -
Kortney Said,
ITA, Kail’s Bull!!! I can’t stand to hear about parents whining about being sick and not being able to care for their children. I realize in some cases, it could be true if the illness were life-threatening or worse, but when it’s just a common cold, you suck it up and take care of your kid. I have a 3 year old son and even on days I feel like crap, I still get up and fix his meals, give him a bath, change his diaper, and all the other things he needs. His needs come before mine always. Jenelle just uses Jace when it’s convenient for her to have a child.
I think the main reason she kept Jace is because at the time she thought he would be like a pet or toy. Fun to show off and play with. She didn’t realize they are actual WORK. When that sank in, she took off and left him with her deranged mother. I feel so sorry for Jace and each time I see him, I just want to pick him up and take him far away from that house.
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Corey's Pixie Dip Said,
Does anyone else agree that Chelsea opening up her GED papers was phoney?
She put an envelope back in maile box and fimed that scene for the cameras. Yes, there is a postal mark but you can’t glue it or repost.
Sick of the super fake re-enactments. Can’t wait for the dog to bite it next week. Unless the dog is a better actor.
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Let's Face it-Tyler and Gary are both 50 Shades of Gay Said,
My youngest was born in ‘09 like most of these kids on TM and TM2. Yeah, these kids seemed pretty delayed to me too. You are right about Barb doing the bare minimum of parenting with Ja$e, however Barb is old and shouldn’t be raising this child. It is exhausting. He is the poster-child for adoption. He is precious and probably would have thrived with parents who actually wanted him and interacted with him. I shudder to think how he will turn out. The way Barb drinks and smokes she probably won’t live another 10 years, then he’s stuck with strung-out Jenelle.
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Chelsea's Head That Looks Like A Meringue Said,
I agree 100% with the post above. Both Barb and Jenelle see Jace as a burden which is so sad; even though I can kind of understand it from Barb’s point of view…when he’s a teenager, she’ll be in her seventies! I feel so sorry for that poor kid and Jenelle should be ashamed of herself. I think Jace spends a lot of time in daycare so hopefully that’s one place where he’s getting some positive attention.
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Pirate Mike's growl Said,
Most of this season was filmed late 20011-early 2012, so we already know most of what happens to these trainwrecks. At least it gives me hope that we may see Pirate Mike running off with the Hooter’s waitress!
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