Nov
13

Teen Mom 2: Who Doesn’t Like to Watch Themselves Pee on the Rug?

Posted by IBBB

Read More On: teen mom 2 recap

barb-2

No more sleeps! I have never been more supportive of unprotected sex than with these girls. If Jenelle’s boyfriend at the time had sported a dick jacket, let’s face it, none of us would be here right now and (burp) we would have never met and fell in love with one Ms. Barbara Evans. So, kids, I say it’s ok to not protect yourself if you feel like you could make a really good audition tape and you have a bat sh*t crazy parent. God is love, Rev Run. Oh, and click here to join me on my own Facebook page. AND…be sure to click on the “Recommend” button so this recap gets shared a ton of Facebook. God bless. Anyway, let’s catch up on what Jenelle (that lil b*tch of a daughtah), Kail, Leah, and possibly even Bricks McBronzer is up to this time around….

Jenelle – When’s the last time this show was on? I feel like it’s been forever. I barely remembered that Jenelle caught a bad case of “the bipolar.” Like half the other teen moms that MTV pays on the regular, Jenelle is fresh out of “the ‘hab” and is doing swimmingly. I use the term “swimmingly” because I really want to raise the bar this season and let you know I know upwards of 200 different words. Some are part of the English language and others are part of the Canadian language. It’s a thing. Anyweeeed, Jenelle seems to be in good spirits within the first few minutes of the episode. This may be because she’s lugging around a giant ziplock bag filled with elephant-sized pill bottles. It looks like enough meds to stop a charging rhino and/or enough meds to relax Barb’s spikes. We’ll get there in a second.

Ok we’re there. Barb is looking easy, breezy, barbiful this season. Her spikes are matted down, she’s wearing eye-glasses on her face and sun-glasses in her hair. To sum up, she’s gone Hollywood…as she should. Wynonna and Naomi are minutes into their scene and not one punch was thrown. Truth be told I’m a little disappointed. It could be because Jenelle is naturally high/high (yaw both high) since she passed her first drug test. However she was a little freaked out that the parole officer was watching her pee during the test. Barb put her mind at ease by letting Jenelle know that’s completely normal because they need to make sure Jenelle doesn’t unleash a bag of someone elses piss into the cup. I mean, Barb barely blinked with that explanation. Like this is second nature to her. She answered like Jenelle asked if it’s normal to drain the blueberries before putting them into the muffin batter. I only wish Barb would have expanded with something like, “Gawd damn it Jenelle, I used to have ta take pisses for my ex-boyfriend, Pirate Mike, when his parole officah came for a surprise visit. Hell sometimes we even had the parrot piss into the bottle.” These are things I imagine. These are also reasons why someone needs to slap a 5150 on me stat. I should not be able to make my own decisions or control my money because I’m a hazard to myself (and, most likely, others). Oh, plus Barb is sporting a new navy blue (happy Veterans Day) t-shirt which makes me think someone hit their “ham slicing bonus” that I assume Walmart initiates during the holidays. Just me? Moving on.

In typical Ye Old Teenage Mother fashion, Jenelle isn’t happy with her $50K per episode so she’s out looking for a minimum wage paying job. I was interested in where Jenelle would want to work. I figured a restaurant or perhaps one of those places where you stand on a stage and show your vagina to horny patrons, you know, for money. Typically $1 dollar bills and, in some places, quarters (lower income neighborhoods). You know the place. Anyway, suddenly I thought I was high/high when Jenelle rolls Jace into her job interview which is…at a daycare. Isn’t that kinda sorta like Gary interviewing at Weight Watchers? I don’t judge. No wait, I do. Sometimes I forgot what kind of personal stands I take. The interview was as amazing as you thought it would be. When the dead-behind-the-eyes worker asked Jenelle what her strengths were she informed them (and all of The America) that she’s very organized and loves working with children. She also lets them know that she is great at keeping her temper and she never yells. Ever. If this show was on the Disney Channel, Jenelle’s nose would have immediately grown 4 feet and a cartoon bird would have landed on it. I mean, she would have then tried to smoke the bird, but still. To rephrase, Jenelle is a wicked Pinocchio. And what’s this junk about her loving to do arts-and-crafts with kids? I’m sure if you look up her legal records it will say something like, “She did so many art-and-crafts with Jace that she lost custody of him.” You may not understand that legal mumbo-jumbo, but I’m pretty smart so I get it. As a parent in that God-for-saken community, what do you do when on Monday you drop your kid off at daycare and Jenelle greets you? You might as well kiss your brat goodbye because it’s likely Jenelle will hollow-out the kid and use them as a drug mule.

Later, Jenelle and her cracked out friend (duuuuude how was rehab?) take Jace to the beach and then back home. It’s here where we get a little glimpse into possible future fights between Jenelle and Barb-o-Matic. Barb is all frazzled because she wants Jenelle to rinse the sand off of Jace and Jenelle thinks she can do it herself and blah. All I know is that Barb starts spitting and spewing, “Make shaw the wataaah is waaahm enough faw him, Jenelle.” Even being from Boston, I was like WTF did this goon just say? I guess I’m a little rusty with my Barb-to-English translations. After the “bath” Jace is running around the house naked like he’s Pirate Mike after a 6 pack of Zima and a prayer for sweet release from the earth. Jenelle is too busy “cleaning” to put a diaper on him and Barb is yelling, “he pees on the rugs, that’s what he does for God sakes. He likes to see himself pee on the rug!” I mean well well sh*t, who doesn’t like to do that? That’s half the reason why I enjoy going to the movies, for the rug-peeing alone!

In the end, Jenelle gets all pissed off at Barb for, you know, talking and junk so she and her cracked-out friend leave to blow off some steam. And it went as bad as you could have thought. Apparently her friend was smoking weed in front of Jenelle and she accidentally fell and took “3 hits of the weed” and will now probably fail her next drug test and get thrown in the slammer (hopefully cellmates with Amber). Can’t she just move to Colorado and be free from all this “go to jail for weed” business? Let’s face it, we’d all love to see Barb high as well. She used to be a “paaaahty girl” after all.

Leah – Hey y’all Leah is back, y’all and I’m pretty sure she burnt her scalp with all that hair-dying! For real it’s so blonde it looks like it hurts and barely moves. She’s like white trash version of Callista Gingrich. What? I know some stuff. Leah has quit working for the dentist one day per week because it just was too much for her to handle especially with the pending divorce, ya’ll. Plus, dying your hair that blonde must take a least 5 hours per day of upkeep. Is it “dying” or “dyeing.” I’m too tired to figure it out. Leah is catching us all up on her life by sitting in her filthy kitchen and talking to her sister who’s still committing to that face piercing that only people who like Avril Lavigne videos would sport. My favorite part of the kitchen, besides the outdoor garbage barrel that’s indoors was the “hutch” filled with “China.” I wasn’t aware that Dixie was considered China, but why the hell not.

In case you forgot, Leah is still working on pronouncing “law-yah” correctly and apparently her “law-yah” is stating that Corey didn’t know about any of the doctor appointments that one of the twins had. Seriously, who cares? What help is he going to be? Maybe if the geneticist comes out and says, “if only she had a camo trucker hat, she’d be cured” then Corey can be of use. Until then, he needs to get back to his life of chopping down mighty sequoias with his two front teeth. Regardless and irregardless all at the same time, Leah is upset y’all because she didn’t marry Corey for 6 months just for them to have a “hi/bye” relationship. Although I’m pretty sure she called it a “hai/bai” relationship. Seriously, MTV, turn on the sub-titles.

Later, the physical therapist stops by the trailer so she can show off her butch haircut and see how the legs are developing on the baby. She actually says, “I like your house.” Even the one with the glasses gave her the side-eye. Had she been a little older I’m sure she could have shouted back, “B*tch we live in squalor.” This trailer is one more Christmas season away from being featured on a future episode of Hoarders. And are there no stairs to the trailer? What do you do just open the door and jump out? Tuck-and-roll, Alilaquisha! Meanwhile, Corey and Leah text each other because (a) they’re filming a reality show and (b) need to talk about the doctor appointment. No offense, I hope the baby is alright but are we going to have to deal with depressing doctors all season long? I’m missing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills for this. Leah ends up crying over Corey’s text. I wasn’t sure if those were tears of happiness because Corey actually figured out how to text or if it was because he blames her for the divorce. It’s a real toss up. Leah does a traditional ugly cry and spouts out something about her losing 50 pounds and not being able to sleep? I never realized the crunchy curls weighed so much. Eh, the More You Know.

Leah brings the girls to meet up with Corey, his dad, and his step mom Josetta (best. name. ever.) at the hospital for the big doctor appointment. Where the hell was Leah’s mother and her mole of a husband? I miss those crazy bastards. The hip x-ray went really well and they think the baby is completely fine and will eventually walk one day. I hope that’s true. I hope that she can walk out of that trailer one day and, literally, keep walking. Like, get the F out of Dodge if you know what I mean. The bad news is that Corey doesn’t want to go to marriage counseling, probably because he knows that Leah is bat sh*t crazy and will double down in her double-wide with the milk man the next chance she gets. They both bring up good points, but no one will talk about cleaning that dirty, filthy trailer. At least throw Orbits into it and see what happens. Dirty Trailer? Clean it up!

Kail – I’m sorry, this is pretty much your 3rd season of being on a highly rated television show. Please take a moment to wash your face. I can’t imagine the ring-around-the-tub that Kail must leave on the regular. This time around we learn that the teachers at Issac’s daycare pretty much think that he’s about as bricks as Chelsea and has about as much personality as Joe. Apparently these teachers won’t really tell Kail what she should be doing to get Issac out of his shell, but I think that since she’s like the chinless Cowardly Lion and her son is apparently the Scarecrow, they pretty much need to follow the yellow brick(s) road to Oz and ask for some new junk for themselves. You’re welcome.

Kail is still missing Jordan, but since she still has feelings for Joe she doesn’t want to string Jordan back into her life just because he helps her with stuff and scares midgets and the like. She’s all about Joe these days especially since his “music video” is now “online.” Gulp. He has a new “rap” and Kail is suffering from a case of sweaty box and insecurity all at the same time since the beautiful lass in the video may be knocking Timberlands with Joe and his pre-pubescent mustache. Truth be told Janet can grow a better ’stache than Joe. Either way, God gives us a little lump of gold because we get to experience a few seconds of this video. It’s as wondrous as one could image because as he “raps” he’s “making eyes” at this random chick in the supermarket and then is instantly laying in bed with her….pretty much whilst Janet is in the background doing the snake and showing early signs of Gangnam Style. I jest, Janet is not in this video as I’m sure she’s working the camera and dressed like Mo’Nique in Precious.

I enjoy how none of Kail’s friends are white. Not that it’s a big deal but it increases the chances that she uses words that aren’t overly white. For example, when talking with her friend about the “girl in the video” who may be dating Joe’s mustache in real life she claims, “his girl looks like a hood-rat.” She should have finished it with, “but I don’t want to scrubs, a scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me, hanging out the passenger side of his best friends ride trying to holler at me. “ It just seemed fitting. Evidently Kail pulled the “gotcha gotcha” on Joe and surprised visit him whilst he was watching Issac and “the video girl” was upstairs in Joe’s bed whilst Issac roamed around the house looking for food at 11am. She ended up just taking Issac home at that point because she is a jealous lion who shows early symptoms of turning into skittish Suzi.

I enjoy how Kail fully admits to being jealous and basically crazy. At least she owns it. She has Joe come over to discuss this situation that was never filmed (nice job MTV) and Joe claims that it was a bad idea that they did the sex to each other on a few separate occasions. This causes Kail to tear up more than when she did during the birthing process. I think she’s realizing that she has no more quarters for mustache rides. As a sidenote, if they plan on not showing Janet in any of these episode I plan on a traditional letter writing campaign.

Chelsea – This bricks again. Since the last time we’ve seen Chelsea she has even bigger hair and it’s now stuffed with feathers (just like her mom’s hairdo). She looked like a frigging Native American greeting me at the parking lot at Foxwoods. Some things never change with Chelsea, as she is still working on that pesky GED. She’s passed one portion of her test, but have about 3,000 more to go. So in the meantime she’s going to try and land a job as a receptionist at a hair salon since that’s the direction her career will eventually go after she’s done filming this show and signing up for Section 8 Housing & Foreclosure. Overall she’s not sure if she and Adam are really back together when people ask her…which totally means they are and she doesn’t feel like listening to their criticism. Either way, she’s heading out to lunch with Adam and their daughter, but things don’t go so well since Aubrey won’t sit in her highchair. She keeps screaming like they’re trying to put her in a pot of boiling water…which…just saying…may stop the crying. I don’t know, it works with lobsters. Anyway, Adam is sporting Brett Michaels bandana and I totally support that especially if it means he’ll be walking into something and getting knocked out. I jest, stay safe. Since no one can control Aubrey they ended up leaving their lunch before ordering and getting take out (which I’m pretty sure was an old McDonald’s) and taking it home so Aubrey could scream her head off in the privacy of their own home. I mean, I guess that’s what happened because I muted it until it looked like she was done screaming. Shhhhh! Indoor voice.

As they eat their disgusting food that gave me the Shasta McNasty’s just by looking at it, Chelsea wants to know “what we are.” I spent the next 5 minutes shouting out things like, “ungrateful” and “loser couple” at the television like I was on an episode of $25,000 Pyramid. Things that a girl with low self-esteem would say. Adam seems to think they’re fine doing just exactly what they’re doing and taking things one day at a time. That’s code for “I haven’t banged anyone else today, but most likely will tomorrow and definitely did last Wednesday.” I don’t know why Chelsea keeps wasting time with Adam when I’m sure Randy would like a chance to wine and dine her. She should give that a try. I mean, she could at least get a spin-off on TLC which, of course, I would watch.

Well folks, that wraps up crapisode 1 of Teen Mom. If you liked it, be sure to click on the “Recommend” button so that this recap can get shared with your d-bag friends on Facebook (and help me sell out). Speaking of which, be sure to join me on my own Facebook page by clicking here!

99 Comments

Craptastic Thoughts from IBBB Readers!

IBBB Said,
Like this blog post? Did you click on the “Recommend Button” to share this with your Facebook friends?

Also, join me on my Facebook page and let’s get to talking!

http://www.facebook.com/patrick.varone.3

and follow me on Twitter because that’s always a treat:

http://www.twitter.com/ibbb

And how about Pinterest?

http://www.pinterest.com/theibbb

Ole!

-IBBB
butch goes to law school Said,
leahs moving up.apparently her current hubby makes like 19,000 a month.
butch goes to law school Said,
patrick,i know brett michaels and adam is no brett michaels.
Amby's Hand Piercing Said,
Jenelle interviewing at a daycare was supposed to be a joke, right?! please tell me it was.
Kortney Said,
It’s wierd watching this because we all know that Leah is re-married to some guy named Jeremy who makes oodles of money and is pregnant with her 3rd child. Kail is engaged/married to her new man Javi. And Jenelle has bounced around several different guys for the past year, moved into a nice place of her own, and is helping her current BF raise his daughter. But, she has yet to find the time/energy to get custody of Jace back. So sad….

I have no idea what’s going on with Chelsea nor do I really care….
Amber's Pill Bottles Said,
Did anyone notice Jenelle smoking while talking to her friend about the ‘hab while on the beach? Classy!
Jenny Said,
Adam always shows up when it’s time for filming.
Brenda Walsh Said,
I have said it before but it bears repeating – why, oh why is MTV incapable of airing this stuff even remotely close to when it was filmed? Clearly this was all filmed last summer – over a year ago! As Kortney mentioned above, Leah is married to someone else and pregnant with his baby (I believe the pregnancy they referred to in the ‘this season on teen mom’ preview ended in a miscarriage – this is ANOTHER pregnancy) and Kailyn is also engaged. It’s just such a waste of time for us to watch this stuff that really isn’t even remotely relevant to their lives at present. Of course, I still watch it. *sigh*
QueenofCorona Said,
I threatened my husband that I will now only speak to him in the Chelsea valley girl whine. “Add-dummmmb, hellllpah meeee.”
Leah's Fat Sister Said,
God this was brilliant. And finally my namesake reappeared! Bless you Fat Sister. It’s good to have you back Patrick!
Smoochies Said,
I CAN NOT STOP LAUGHING. This was bricks. I hate the show now, but I LOVE the recaps so keep em comin’.

There were so many favorites, but the spit out my drink one was “Kail is still missing Jordan, but since she still has feelings for Joe she doesn’t want to string Jordan back into her life just because he helps her with stuff and scares midgets and the like.”

OMG. Pure poetry.
Laurie Said,
I miss Butch.
SZ Said,
Chelsea: oh my god-uh! Adam-uh! Help me-uh! Take off that god-awful bandanna-uh!

I wanted to scream everytime she talked. And someone needs to inform her that she’s not Ke$ha.

Leah: What innovative name do you think she’ll give her new baby? Probably something really different for her, like Alleenah, or Alllallla, or Ahhliolou. Or for a boy, Allleexxia, or Allleeennn. The possibilities are endless!
the more you know.... Said,
How is kail living in section 8 housing stll? How much do they make an episode? Issac’s room is the laundry room you can see the hook up lines and her bedroom is in the living room and the pegboard kitchen wall come on this is a step above a cardboard box. Seriously wish they would have shown this when it was relevant this was filmed too long ago to even follow knowing what everyone is up to currently. Chelsea’s hair is a mess not exactly good advertising for someone that wants to be a stylist unless that person is looking for the slutbarn ‘do. Freakin-A someone teach Leah how to say lawyer, not liee-yerhhh. Maybe she could say attorney instead just so that she sounds less Appalachian American!
Jenelle's Toddler Bikini Said,
So I totally laughed my ass off during Bricks’ & Adumb’s date when Aubreeeeee was acting batshit crazy. My kid does this on the regular when we’re at a restaurant and it’s horrifying. But somehow, it’s hillarious when it happens to Bricks.
Joe's Rap Career Said,
Lets give it up for Joe’s rap career everybody!!! Looks like Santa came early this year! For the past few months, every time I would look at my fantasy football team, “Joe’s Rap Career “I would smile to myself and think “someday “.
butch goes to law school Said,
yes on chelseas hair!!all the teen mom fan pages rave about what pretty hair she has..im like for what?,fighting zombies?her hair always looks like a rests nest.im not currently starring in a hit tv show and my hair looks much better than hers,i think its because i do this weird thing called brush my hair.try it chelsea.
Joe's Rap Career Said,
Yes I named my fantasy football team after my Ibbb comment name. Its good advertising.
Maci's Sweatpants Said,
I know your secrets! You posted this right in the middle of my morning cleaning and now my house looks Leah-tastic! Thanks! Btw, I have a torn ACL,took a Vicodin about an hour ago, and I’m pretty sure I laughed more than I ever have while reading this. Everybody should totally do “the pills” before reading this! Just sayin…
Karina Said,
I simply cannot understand how in hell Jenelle thought it was a completely rational idea to go to an interview to work in a daycare center. If they hire someone who is on probation, this daycare should completely be close! Geez.
Brenda Walsh Said,
Did anyone watch Maci host the after show? I guess it’s only on mtv.com. I wanted to watch it but I fell asleep. Just curious how she did hosting.
social working degree Said,
Chelsea’s hair is awful. it’s so distracting in every single scene that she’s in. if she just dyed it back to its original color and straightened it everyday she’d be cute. maybe that is the style in south dakota?

also – I wonder if Adam stops communicating with Chelsea entirely once the cameras are gone. I’ve always gotten that impression from him.

Jenelle wants to work at a daycare center? LMAO. I kept thinking “she can’t…..be serious? can she…?” I would think her town would be familiar with her and the fact that she’s on an MTV show. why even bother interviewing her?

Leah is a wreck. she talks about how much she loves Corey and wants to work it out but she cheated on him the week before their wedding…lol. eventually he’s going to get tired of dealing with your crap. BUT, we already know that she’s married for the 2nd time and pregnant for the 2nd? 3rd? time and she’s only 20 or so. that’s normal, right? I don’t understand why MTV airs the show so long after they filmed it.

Kail’s scenes were kinda boring. the only time I was amused was while watching Joe’s music video.

on a separate note..someone please tell me that they watched catfish? I know it’s on at 11 and that’s pretty late…but it would be so awesome if Patrick recapped it!
Rug Pee'r Said,
@social working degree, I totally watched Catfish… It disgusted me about what that girl did, but as soon as Sunny started talking about this guy and his life, I KNEW it was a lie… But I agree, recaps on it would be GREAT!
Jenelle's Toddler Bikini Said,
@social working degree, @Rug Pee’r – I had to add Catfish to my dvr to-do list. I loved it. And while I agree it’s disgusting what Jamison/Chelsea did, I totally thought Sunny had it coming!
Braindead Said,
Actually, for the person who said Jenelle is helping raise her bf’s daughter, that’s a lie. Apparently he took the daughter and never gave her back to the baby mama, she was PISSED. Sounds like she got her daughter back, but can’t you all see Jenelle kidnapping the baby anyway?
MTV Money going down the drain Said,
I’m telling you, Farrah’s Doctor should have just given her half of Jenelle’s chin and called it a day. Can you imagine how entertaining this show would be if we REALLY saw what is going on in Jenelle’s life? Kidnapping, drug sessions in MTV hotel rooms, tattoos that look like some feline creature from the Island of Dr. Moreau, crazy weird infantile felon boyfriends that all act like 14yr old girls on twitter…now THERE would be a show. I hope Jace follows Goggles when she leaves the trailer…run, jace, run a la Forest Gump.
QueenofCorona Said,
Does anyone else just stare at Kail’s face when the cameras are on her? Are there holes in it from piercings? Are those moles? Is it crusty dried skin? I don’t get it but it always looks like she has the flu and just woke up from a nap. The only phallic things she needs to be friends with is a tube of mascara and some lip gloss, pronto.
Hachet Face Said,
@ QueenofCorona – I couldn’t agree more! What is it with these teen moms and their horrible skin? I mean, couldn’t they take some of their MTV money and invest in some skincare products? Kail’s face gives me the heebie-jeebies.
your left ovary Said,
I don’t watch this show. I don’t want my son seeing it and thinking that any of these people portray an appropriate and accepted way of life. I love the recaps though and wish I had seen Joe’s rap video. I may have to see if I can find it “online”.
Skank Ho's Y'all Said,
I was glad to see the cheeseballs making an appearance.
your left ovary Said,
I found the video and wish I hadn’t. I’ll never get that time back.
Kyyyy's Shart Said,
My jaw seriously dropped to the floor when Jenelle was interviewing at the daycare. I thought I wasn’t seeing it right and she was trying to put Jace in there. I asked my mom like 10 times if she really just did what I thought she did and apply there!! Baahahaha that is too dang comical!
Wednesdaystreat Said,
I guess I should change my name to Tuesdaystreat, but that would take too much effort, and like my heroes on this show, I won’t be putting any effort into anything.

1. I pretty much felt like this was “Same Sh*& Different Day.”
2. Hair: Yes. All need Shampoo STAT!
3. Jenelle interviewing at a daycare. Can we at least TRY to make this show believable!? Does anybody in the very small area of Oak Island, NC watch TV? Yes? She aint getting hired!
4. Catfish–a new must recap! Please!
SZ Said,
ok, I just watched the aftershow with Maci hosting. Her 1 1/2 classes of broadcast journalism have really paid off. She rattled off the opening 32 sentences without taking a single breath or pause – natural! And remember the “rumors” (like anyone cares) that she was getting a spin-off, and reports that she’s “back to work for MTV”? I think this hosting gig is it.

And, she says filling instead of feeling. Gag.
Chin cysts Said,
My name still applies, since Maci’s doing the after shows (I thought she did fine, I was expecting it to be cringe-worthy). And, well, Kailyn too…

As for Leah, bitch you don’t need marriage counseling to treat your slutting ways! Just don’t slut!
Adumb Said,
I was legit pissed at Aubree for throwing that temper tantrum. Minerva’s is one of the better places to eat in Sioux Falls. But no, she wanted to eat at the crap shack. I used to live there and I have no idea what that place was. Next time I’m home I’m heading straight to Year Round Brown to tell Bricks that Adumb-ah is the biggest tool bag I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe any other girls in that town would sleep with him after seeing this show.
Anonymous Said,
That wasn’t Leah’s
Anonymous Said,
Oops, that wasn’t Leah’s sister, it was her friend.
IS KYLE SLOW Said,
Thank the great pumpkin that this blog is back today
Amby's Hand Piercing Said,
I cant wait for the episode when Corey asks Leah if shes pregnant and she replies Y on a magna doodle board! So fitting….
shampoo & a hairbrush Said,
I was literally laughing when I seen chelsea’s mom with feathers in her hair I thought there was an age limit on that fad lol. And jenelles interview. I was sitting there like ain’t no daycare gonna hire you when your two year old is still sucking on a bottle. Please please change leah’s line from lawyer to attorney. I’m from the south and I’ve never heard anyone pronounce it like that. She had such a tough time saying it I was rooting for her lol
Little Nick's Bong Said,
I legit LOLed when Leah said she lost 50lbs, WTF? She serious?
shampoo & a hairbrush Said,
@queenofcorona what you said about kaylin and phallic shaped items was so funny and yet so true
Rehab Swing Said,
Man, after hearing Leah lost 50 LBS, maybe Caitlynn will pull a catfish on Tyler to lose weight. Yeah, that made no sense, but neither do any of MTV’s shows for the last 15 years
alwayssunny Said,
i laughed so hard when chelsea was talking (again) about how she’s had so much going on. she had a baby and there’s drama with adam…hi your kid is 2 and adam doesn’t like you. are you still playing this “poor me” thing? i hate your face chelsea.

and, i LOVE kail’s friend mark. i cannot understand why he’d want to be friends with kail. get rid of kail and joe and focus on mark and janet (janet, where are youuuu?)
Amber's Acne Said,
I was howling when Leah said she quit her job because it was “too much.” You worked less than a DAY a week. I just can’t.

Jenelle lied. Sounds like another day in her life.
Wednesdaystreat Said,
I was sure Leah said 50lbs too–but then I thought, maybe it’s her “special” accent rearing its head again, and she actually said 15??? I know somebody from OK who also says LAWYEAR.
T*ts on a Stick Said,
I know its only been like, what, a few weeks since Teen Mom 1 ended, but I have missed these recaps SO much!!

Wtf was all that whiny crap Leah was going on and on about how she didn’t want it to end and Cory never even tried to make it work — she bolted to that Law-yer first chance she got and filed for divorce so fast he never would have had a chance!

And maybe Jenelle thinks those people at the daycare she was applying at don’t have TVs. Yeah right she never yells, I laughed so hard at that! I also thought she was trying to get Jace into daycare at first, not actually applying to work there!

What crawled on top of Chelsea’s head and died there?! Must have been some sort of bird or something..

Does Kail *ever* wash her hair?? I know she’s busy with a toddler and all and may not have time to hit the shower every day, but if she’s got time to play around and braid it all the time, she at least has time to wash it occasionally. And also, Isaac is one unfortunate looking kid!
Amber's Acne Said,
@Karina
Don’t forget that she also SIGNED over her rights to her child. If I ran a daycare/sent my kid to daycare, I’d NEVER want somebody who doesn’t have custody of their kid to be around mine. Why do you think she lost custody? That on top of the drug charges/probation would also be the deal breaker.
barbwahs credit score Said,
Aubree looks exactly like Chelseas mom. So freaky.
Thank gosh Babs is back, I love it when she hovers over jenelle like a hawk just ripping apart every move she makes with Jace.
Kailyn is the biggest hypocrite ever. Jo should let that hoodrat smack the white right off of her. Btw I loved that the rats name was simply “V”.
Leah is purely on here for comedic relief right?
Ski Chalet's Landlady Said,
@Skank Ho’s Y’all Now I know why I’ve had a mysterious craving for cheese balls all day long… I must have subconsciously imbibed them while watching last night’s crapisode.
Not Goggles Said,
I loved the way that Jenelle bathed Jace.. It looked like she made him stand up and just squirted some soap on him. No wonder Barb was concerned.

Chelsea, you’re an idiot.. Adam, you don’t need to wear sunglasses indoors.

Kail annoys me. Leah annoys me.

This show is already giving me anxiety. Just kick all the teen whores off there and make it the Barbara Ann Evans show.
Peach-Orange-Whatever is the new black Said,
I, too, watched the aftershow. Not impressed, Maci. I don’t think the rest of the world can handle Bricks Jr. AND Bricks Sr. on the same couch for however many after crapisodes there are
Sophia's Sucky Said,
I’m so happy TM2 is back so I can read your recaps again. You are hysterical. As a Rhode Islander, I just about died at “She looked like a frigging Native American greeting me at the parking lot at Foxwoods.” Oh Patrick, please meet me at Foxwoods (Fox-woods!). <3
Rehab Swing Said,
By the way, is anyone falling for the whole Leah still loved Corey thing? I just can’t wrap my head around how she had him not just once but twice and still cheated on him multiple times. Must just be MTV’s editing? Ha.
Let's Face it-Tyler and Gary are both 50 Shades of Gay Said,
Trash Mom 2 is back!! Yay! This episode was somewhat boring except for Bahhbra of course. Even MTV realizes that she is the real star and seems to be giving her the respect she deserves this season. Everything else is about the same though, Jenelle is pretty much a criminal (love how she applied at the day care center-if she got that job they should shut that place down), Leah is her typical West VA trashy self, Kailyn is gross and Bricks is Bricks. The previews look good though, Jenelle’s paternity issues and Leah drawing “y” on the magna doodle when Corey asked her if she was pregnant were highlights.

Patrick I know everyone tells you to recap random shows, but you might find blogging gold in Catfish.
butch goes to law school Said,
of course kail has time for the shower,but she has to wait for jo..
ANNA IS THE PREGNANTEST Said,
Chin Cysts – “As for Leah, bitch you don’t need marriage counseling to treat your slutting ways! Just don’t slut!”

~ HAHAHAHAHA; that made me literally LOL.

This episode sounded like a snooze. I’m in NZ where we’re about a billion seasons behind, and I agree with the people who have said that none of this shit is relevant anymore…it’ll be even less so when I finally see it. (And yes…I will still watch it.)
I honestly don’t understand how any of these girls can look in the mirror and think that they look good. Chelsea-AH’s hair is terrifying!
jenelle on earth Said,
please please please start recapping catfish asap
rollet skate training wheel Said,
Ohmygosh catfish is awesom! Would be great to recap
tyler loves my-kuhl Said,
Yay! That little bitch of a dawtah is back! I was really hoping Bricks would come back a little more mature with decent hair…and she wonders why she cannot get a job at a hair salon! Nope-ahhh. Goddamn-ah that is so annoying-ah the way she talks. And sadly, Aubree-ah is nothing more than an accessory to her-ah. What a little brat-ah that kid is. If she can’t handle putting the kid in a high chair she is screwed!!!! “Addumb! Help meeeeeee-ahhhhh!!!!” What a freaking douche that guy is.
tyler loves my-kuhl Said,
btw, what is catfish???? Can anyone tell me please?
trailer-steps Said,
ok…why do these people not clean house when they know a camera crew is coming?

Chelsea needs to give it up. I wish her dad would cut her off totally.
Kyyyy's Shart Said,
Catfish is the show that came on after TM2 about people meeting people on the internet and then meeting them in real life. It is awesome! (well THAT episode was, anyway!)
Conspiracy Man Said,
barbwahs credit score- I completely agree that Aubrey looks like Chelsea’s mom.
Jenelle's Job Interview & Other Fantastical Stories Said,
I like to think the Babs MTV commercial AND the job interview skit were made/filmed especially IBBB, the readers, and viewers like you.
Jenelle's Job Interview & Other Fantastical Stories Said,
especially for*
Brenda Walsh Said,
I think Leah said she lost FIFTEEN pounds, not fifty, but hey that accent is tricky. She WAS looking really skinny. Maybe I should go on the WV hillbilly divorce diet. It’s the latest craze!
Dick Jacket Said,
I loved when Jenelle lied through her teeth to the interviewers about her not having a temper. Oh please, like they never watched Teen Mom.
Twinkie truck driver Said,
So Jenelle is on probation for a year, knows she can’t smoke pot, does, then blabs about it while filming a national television show?

And Leah, “Does he think I wanted this? Wanted our marriage to end!” Well, that’s usually the message that gets sent when one files for divorce. Brainiac or not, I think even Corey could crack that code.
Twinkie truck driver Said,
*that’s usually the message
Plain Old Amber Said,
I don’t even have anything snarky to say today…I’m happy this show is back, I’m happy Patrick is back, and I’m happy all the commenters with their epic names are back!! That is all
Plain Old Amber Said,
Oh, and I’ll tell everyone a secret…when I was a teen, I had “the acne” pretty bad, perhaps even worse than Kail and Maci. You know what finally cleared it up? BIRTH CONTROL! One more reason why these girls need to go on it stat!
tyler loves my-kuhl Said,
@plain old amber: bwahaha….so true about the birth control.
Conspiracy Man Said,
I am just annoyed with the fact that each one of these girls has serious flaws. You even want to like Kailyn for being responsible, but she is such a hyppocrite that it is impossible to respect her.

Why can’t Chelsea figure out that Adam comes rolling around every time the MTC crews come to town? She has had several seasons to figure out that this guy only shows up for a check. After the camera goes, he will drink away the money he earned while scrogging every famewhore that he has attracted with the pseudo-celebrity he gets from the new camera time.
BooBoo's Camel Toe Said,
Janelle’s interview…”oh..and I never ever get mad or yell ”

WHAT??????????

Next scene…Janelle getting mad and yelling because Barb doesn’t like pee on her carpet. You suck Janelle and are in total denial of what a LOSER you are.
Conspiracy Man Said,
V not C (MTV)
Trailer Park Trash Said,
I don’t understand why everyone thinks it’s strange that Jenelle applied for a job at the daycare. Arrest record? CHECK. Been to Rehab? CHECK. Lost custody of your child? CHECK CHECK CHECK. You’re hired!!!!!

Are we even going to see Jeremy, Courtland, and Javi this season or is the show THAT behind? This show needs more Babs and Goggles, less everyone else…
Dr.Drew's Fake Letter From Amber Said,
Laughed at the episode, recap, & comments! Awesome!
Catelyn's Chewed-off Fingernail Polish Said,
I love Lee-er’s continued mastery of the American vocabulary – “Me & Corey might have to “asso-shate” over Ali-ishus”. What dictionary does she use? BTW, I think Corey is kinda hot in a backwoods, bohunk, camo-ed, dirty-fingernails kinda way.
Barbara Ann Evans III Said,
Adumbuh wears the bandana cause that lil bitch is balding!
barbwahs credit score Said,
Btw I love the photos of Babs. Bring it Barb stamped across them had me cracking up. Do you think she hovers over the other employees at walmart when they are slicing meat and such? Whhaaddda ya doooiing? Ya holding da roast beef wrong! I Awww come on who cut the cheese?! I aint got time for dis!!! Why is the camera crew not filming this! I would watch an hour long show of babs at walmart.
leah's laahyer Said,
So TM2 is back, and worse than ever… I would totally watch the show if it was all Jenelle/Babs.
But holy guacamole, Catfish was amazing. Where has this show been all my life?
tyler loves my-kuhl Said,
thank you….thank you….thank you to all who are promoting Catfish!!! I fucking laughed my fat ass off the whole last 20 minutes….brilliant. I made my hubby watch it today….he was like Holy Shit! Set the dvr NOW!!!!!! One question though….why is it called catfish????
Chin cysts Said,
@Trailer Park Trash Jeremy and Javi are in the previews for this season but I read an article on Wetpaint that Gary tweeted that even he wouldn’t be on Season 3, but he was around for filming Season 4. Ridiculous!! Hopefully Kieffah will come around this season because he, like Babs and Goggles, is a gem.

@tyler loves my-kuhl Catfish is the name of the documentary the host guy made when he met his own fake internet love IRL. I had to watch the documentary after seeing the show and at the end the yokel husband of the woman Nev was really talking to described a story that shipments of cod would include some catfish because they promote activity among the cod keeping their flesh from getting soft during transport. He said that certain people in our lives are “catfish” because they keep us on our toes. So I guess the people who lie about their identity on the internet are the catfish. The more you know!
Wednesdaystreat Said,
Thanks for that explanation on Catfish! I wondered too–just found out yesterday when I saw the WHOLE episode how it all came about.
Mommy's Medicine Said,
Um, I’m pretty sure the woman that Jennelle interviewed with at the daycare was Frida Khalo.
cheap jerseys outlet Said,
Things i have continually told people today is that while looking for a good on-line electronics store, there are a few factors that you have to remember to consider. First and foremost, you should make sure to choose a reputable and reliable shop that has picked up great assessments and scores from other individuals and business sector analysts. This will ensure you are handling a well-known store providing you with good assistance and assistance to it’s patrons. Thank you for sharing your notions on this site.
Isaac's Low IQ Said,
Ahhhh yes so glad to get my weekly IBBB recaps again! And to be able to watch Teen Mom and feel like the best mother in the world compared to these girls.
“Anyway, suddenly I thought I was high/high when Jenelle rolls Jace into her job interview which is…at a daycare. Isn’t that kinda sorta like Gary interviewing at Weight Watchers?” OMG hilarious. My husband didn’t even make fun of me for literalling LOLing at that one. I was just like “really?? you don’t yell?? you’re organised?? You love playing with kids?? You do realise you don’t have custody of your own kid??” That alone should disqualify her from an interview.
Btw, that is Leah’s friend, not her sister. And it’s Isaac, not Issac.
Isaac's Low IQ Said,
Queen of Corona, too funny. My husband overheard her saying that and he was like “who the hell is that whiny brat?” lol. Why does she insist on talking like a baby? And it’s a tantrum, get over it. Put her on the floor and let her get it over with I say. What help is Adumb gonna be anyway.
And Leah..seriously, marriage counselling could have saved your marriage? I hear not cheating on your future husband has been 100% proven to save a marriage.
Isaac's Low IQ Said,
One last comment…
@ANNA IS THE PREGNANTEST, I’m in NZ too. watchseries.eu, they have all the episodes online Only about a week behind the US then.
Mootie Moot Said,
I am sooo happy to have my IBBB recaps back! (: This episode is a glimpse of all the batsh*t crazy stuff to happen in the next few weeks! I almost died laughing at the “chinless Cowardly Lion” comparison ..Kail really is chinless, full of holes & lacking of funds to go buy a facewash! This girl irritates me sooo badly! She’s just as hypocritical as Maci & I love it!
As for Bricks, I can’t wait till she dyes her hair green to go with that Oompa Loompa look she’s got going on!
Jenelle is the reason I watch. I really really wish I was a.) related to her n Barbs b.) lived next door to them c.) became besties with Barbs.
Leah is a slutt.
Anonymous Said,
Why did you stop recapping the Jersey Shore????????
IS KYLE SLOW Said,
Where is crazy-eyed Suzy????

Leah has probably lost 50 lbs because of all the dope she does. WV+Trailers+white trash=METH LABS!!!
Chelsea's Endless Supply of Fleece Said,
Just gotta say, I love/love this blog, makes me laugh out loud
So happy the insanity is back
Patrick–2words for you: SISTER WIVES!
You have got to start recapping Sister Wives
It is so ridiculously awesome
your left ovary Said,
I don’t think he’ll jump on the Sister Wives train now that they are on a downward slope.
Wait, I guess the twits from TM and TM2 have always been on the way down, eh? Bring on the Sister Wives recap. I have plenty to say about those people!
ANNA IS THE PREGNANTEST Said,
Thanks, Isaac’s Low IQ! Now I’ll have some idea what’s going on when I comment for a change.

I know I’m supposed to like Kail more than the other girls, but I just can’t. She is so ungrateful and nasty for cheating on Jordan – he was a decent guy and she didn’t deserve him. He had a lucky escape!
All of these girls are equally horrible. Barb is the only good thing about this train-wreck of a show!
Piss Test Observer Said,
I saw the preview of this season’s Sister Wives and those women are looking rough!!
Isaac's Low IQ Said,
Oh yea and I use either the putlocker or gorilla vid links. Not sure how good the other ones are but those always work for me. I know, it’s nice being able to catch up! We’re too far behind.