It’s the Great Generic Halloween Costume, Chuckie Tan!

Ahhh nothing rings in the Halloween season like companies selling costumes of famous people that they don’t own the rights to.  With a little crafty name change, now you can dress up like your favorite fauxlebrity too….almost….sort of…..ish.  Here are some of my favorites  (now with new updates!) with my thoughts and guesses on who exactly they’re talking about.  And don’t forget to click the “Recommend Button” to share this will your creeptastic, yet spooktacular (see what I did there?) friends on Facebook.  Speaking of which, click here to join me on my Facebook page. Boo!

~ You’ll be crying “boo” like the littlest pork chop in Seaside when you sport this costume for the ever popular Sun-Tanned Baby and Sling.  Pork chop power!  My guess:  Most likely Amanda Bynes.

~ Da da da da, da da, da da please don’t touch this.  Now you can be like everyone’s favorite 90’s rapper, MC Screwdriver.  All your friends will be squealing with delight, sipping on their Twisted Tea’s, and testing our meth in their trailer when you show up in this costume that wasn’t funny then and isn’t funny now.  My guess:  Literally Vanilla Ice.

~ “Hi hi hi, lime tall man!”

~  Get ready to pleasure yourself in the back of a theater because this year you’re dressing up as Adult Bow Tie Guy.  Why they didn’t just go with “Level III Sex Offender” is beyond me.  When you ring that doorbell during trick-or-treating be sure to say Adult Bow Tie Guy’s famous phrase, “I do know that you are that, but what would I be?”  My guess:  Brody Jenner (post Hills).

Go get your can of “Spanish” and call your main squeeze, Canola Oil, because this year you’re dressing a Sailor Man.  Yep, just plain old Sailor Man. Clearly this is Sean Penn.

~  I’m sure when your little ones are watching Sesame Street they’re typically thinking, “Good God I want to do sex (whatever that is) to Cookie Monster!”  Well now you can make their dreams come true by dressing up as the sassy (?) slutty version of Cookie Monster.  C is for cookie and it’s also for “…U Next Tuesday” and you’re sure to look like one when you put this on.  It’s highly likely you’ll have your cookie eaten by the end of the night.  Skank.

~  When you wish upon a (porn) star you can now dress up as everybody’s favorite Doucheney World character, “Ms. Mouse!”  The skirt, of course, stops right right below your “mouse greeter” so that you can land Dickney Mouse at the character breakfast Halloween party.  You just better make sure the carpet matches the tail!  White nylons not included, but we recommend “knee highs” for extra easy access to your mousetrap.

~ Before there were “talking pictures” there was Charlie Chaplin and before there was Charlie Chaplin there apparently was Charleston Chap.  And, well, we’re still pretty much in a recession and times they-are-a-tough so you’re going to save a few dollars and go for the Charleston Chap costume.  Plus, simply remove the hat and, PRESTO, you’re Hitler.  Because deep down at the end of the day, you kind of are.  You kinda are.

~ If you ever wanted to dress up like the bastard child of Rhea Pearlman and Cher then this is the costume for you.  Not sure why they’re welcoming us to the jungle….oh wait….I get it.  It’s Darlene from Roseanne.  Fail.

~ Hey kids, it’s time to dress up like everyones favorite character from the B-Team, Mr Hammer!  Don’t forget to say Mr Hammer’s famous catch-phrase, “I’m feeling terribly sorry for the dumb-dumb!”  Obviously, this costume is the father from Family Matters, Carl.  Fail.

~ “Hey Mom?  Can I dress up like a Eurasian Traveler this Halloween?  I can?  Super!”  My guess on this sexy-times costume is going to be….um…uh….how ’bout Schneider from “One Day at a Time.”

~ Sing along with me! “Green Candy Factory Worker doo-pa-dee-do, I’ve got another costume for you. Green Candy Factory Worker doo-pa-de-da soon you’ll be living in Green Candy Factory Worker doo-pa-dee-do!.”  My guess, of course, is George Hamilton.

~ Markie Post.  Next.

~ Since when was “The Rachel” considered high society?  Surprise all your friends at the Halloween party with your 1994 costume!  Fail.

~ Who knew Michael Jackson was really wearing a Halloween Fight Wig this entire time!  No joke, this is the picture they used to sell the MJ wig. Nose(s), chin, and diddle-fingers sold separately.  Please note, orders made before Friday at 2pm will actually be delivered by La Toya Jackson.

~ Being a random mother of eight babies is all the rage this Halloween. For an extra payment of $19.99 we’ll help your vagina explode.  My guess?  Rashida Jones.  Thank you.

~ Ever wanted to be a nameless Disc Jockey?  Well now thanks to this nameless Disc Jockey wig, you can!  All you need to complete this costume is some vagina jokes (sold separately).  Of course this costume is Oprah.

~ Oh don’t you worry, I won’t say no no no to this wig, especially when I’m at the “rehab center.”  Last years funny costume is this years less-than-creative-choice.  Simply place the beehive wig on your head and you don’t even have to worry about telling your friends that you couldn’t think of anything this year.  So who could this “rehab wig-wearin’-slut” be?  Bindi Irwin.